really rough night...

[jessica31876]

My husband went to his parents tonight to get the stuff our son had over there. There was some of our daughters stuff mixed in since they visited them alot over weekends and spent the night there alot too on weekends. My son apparently never really threw anything out. So we were going through his stuff and coming across drawings and note he wrote to us but never gave us. One card he made me for christmas which said I love you Mom. I want you to know how special you are and hope this holiday season is beautiful for you. I just broke down crying. I also found some stuff he made for my husband and of course stuff we had bought him he had saved. Like some batman figurines and almost all his old plastic dinosaurs he used to love to play with. Needless to say it is sooo hard. We still have some stuff to pick up. well I should say my husband does. I do not want to see my husbands parents. I know that there are going to be a lot more days and nights like that but I think being so close to thanksgiving and christmas that card really got to me. We just finalized his marker yesterday and are crossing our finigers it is in place by christmas. It is going to be really pretty as itll have pictures of him engraved in it. I wanted a really special one for him. So I was already pretty emotional having to go through phtoos for the grave marker.

[Shawna Clingerman]

jessica, what a beautiful and heartbreaking moment that must have been for you to see that card.

Just wanted to let you know that you are in my heart!

[jacinda]

Oh Jessica, I can't imagine....

Lots and lots of hugs and healing thoughts from me.

[Megan Turnidge]

Jessica, my heart breaks for you over and over again every time you mention your son. I'm so sorry. How sweet to find those things, those pieces of him. Big hugs.

[heathergw]

(((hugs))) I can't even begin to imagine... my heart just breaks for you!!!

[emmasmommy]

you're always in my prayers jessica, i can't even imagine!

[nikkiARNGwife]

Jessica you are so often in my thoughts and I pray for you to continue to heal from your loss. I'm sure seeing those things was so difficult..wish I could reach across the miles and give you a real hug this morning.

[kendallt]

So sorry you're going through this, Jessica. No parent should ever have to face the pain of losing a child. You're in my thoughts and prayers!

[MamaBee]

I think of you often and wonder how you are doing... {{hugs}} what precious items to have found... even though they give you sadness, I hope they will also give you comfort in the years to come...

[marlathrall]

Jessica, I cannot imagine the pain you go through on a daily basis, but I think you should think of that note as a gift from your son. He left it behind for you to find and comfort your through the holidays. I'm so sorry you're going through this and I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

[cardinalskate]

Jessica, you are in my thoughts so often. I can't imagine how hard it was to find those things, especially the card, but you will cherish it forever! It was so obvious he loved you so much.

[BrattyMeg]

(((Hugs)))

[Lyd]

I have no words just big virtual hugs. Hang in there, sweetie!

[ariesfl326]

Oh Jessica, I sincerely hope you can find peace one day. I think about you often and pray for you and your family. I'm sure his marker will look beautiful and will be so special. I guess, in some strange way, it's a good thing he never threw anything out. Now you have cherished momentos to always remember him by and that can hopefully help to bring you fond memories of your son.

God bless. {hugs}

[krystalhartley]

I wish we had a like button here because everyone has said everything I'm thinking and probably so much better as I just tear up and can hardly see straight whenever I am reading about you and your family's recent experiences. You're very much in my thoughts and prayers, and it seems trite, but I'm grateful to you for sharing this painful experience with us...really helps keep things in perspective for me.

[breakingbrie]

I can't imagine how hard this was on you, but I'm glad you found that card. You're in my thoughts and prayers ((hugs))

[taracotta7]

Jessica, sending you lots of hugs and prayers. I know it was hard to see those things but I am hoping that it becomes cherished items that bless you over and over as the years go by and give you comfort. He was happy and loved because of you and family you and your husband built around him.

((HUGS))

[kim21673]

What a bittersweet time. I'm so happy that you have those memories to hold on too but can only imagine how difficult it was. My heart just aches for you. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. ((hugs))

[Keely~B]

Jessica I can't imagine. I'm so sorry and I know no words can do anything but my heart goes out to you and your family, you've been continually in my thoughts.

[NatalieKW]

Oh, I hope you get it by Christmas too! You are in my thoughts and prayers! As hard as it is, I'm so glad you have those special trinkets and notes! :)

[digideb]

(((hugs))) & more prayers!

[LenaGardner]

I'm so glad he was able to give this gift to you even after he was already gone. I'm so sorry it made you so sad :( big (hugs) to you.

[jessica31876]

I am glad we have them too. It is hard to go through them all and see so much of who he was and what mattered to him but then know that is all thats left. Thanks for all the hugs and prayers. My husband, son and I are just trying to take each day as it comes.

[kscwgirl]

Oh Jessica. Hugs and lots of love sweets. I think of you often. :(

[HeatherB]

Jessica, your story just makes my heart ache. I think of you often and send up a prayer when I do, and I don't really know you, but from your posts, I see how much you love your son and your family. He was really blessed to have you as his mom.

[jaylensmom]

big hugs for you jessica.....

[nun69]

{{{HUGS}}} Jessica~

[Kara]

HUGS!

[origami]

I'm so glad he was able to give this gift to you even after he was already gone. I'm so sorry it made you so sad :( big (hugs) to you.

This.

[DawnMarch]

((Hugs)) Jessica. My heart continues to hurt for you and your family.

[neenee]

Truly heart wrenching Jessica. I am so sorry for what you are going through. {{{HUGS}}}

[scrapweaver]

oh Jessica :( {{HUGS}}

[adrianka]

For lack of words - *hugs*

[g8rbeckie]

i just.can't.imagine.

Like others have said - I think of you all the time and wonder how you're doing. I'll never take a moment of time with my children for granted because of you're experience. I mean, we all read stories int he paper and know that bad things happen, but for it to happen HERE, to one of "us" just makes it seem so much more real.

I think you're incredibly amazing. I wouldn't get past the anger - i wouldn't have the courage to deal with the sadness and face that day when there's nothing left to do but move on with life.

It's wonderful that you found another little piece of him to hold on to.

{{{hugs}}}

And know that I'm crying with you, if it helps.