NSBR: anybody know anything about aspergers?

[color of my heart]

you know, aspbergers syndrome. "the boy" (aka the boyfriend) has it. he was diagnosed as a teenager, and i'm trying to learn as much about it as i can. i've read all of the online wikipedia stuff, but i was wondering if anyone has had first-hand experience with it.

i don't know if it's something i need to be worried about, seeing as i'm planning on being with him and having kids with him. and yeah. just.. trying to learn as much as i can.

thanks in advance.

[kscwgirl]

It's one of the forms of autism. I don't think it's something you need to be worried about, per se, but I think it's great that you want to find out more about it.

here's some good links I have saved from when i used to teach LD...

http://www.aspergers.com/
http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/mental-health-aspergers-syndrome
http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/asperger/detail_asperger.htm

[AmberK]

several of my son's friends have been diagnosed with aspbergers but I don't have first hand experience of living with them to know anything about it.

[Leila]

I guess the one piece of advice I can give as a mom of a boy with Asperger's is that you need to understand that sometimes he just won't get it. You'll be all emotional about something and he'll just look at you like you have two heads. :blink: My son already does it; he's nine. Most Aspies see the world in a very linear/black & white way. Shades of gray, curves and twists--they just don't exist. He may need your help with social graces that we tend to take for granted and he may have trouble reading expressions on faces. Be ready to help. And really, just be patient. That's not to say that letting things slide is okay, but concessions do need to be made.

[schock77]

What Leila said. I've taught many kids with aspergers syndrome and was going to say the same thing. It can be very mild- and since he's social enough to land you as a girlfriend, I'm guessing his case is pretty mild. Basically it's hallmark is very high in other areas of development (like have an accelerated vocabulary) but difficulty with social skills and perspective taking. Hope that helps!

[MissKim]

I'd guess my husband has full blown autism. If you ever watch Big Bang Theory, think Sheldon (but not necessarily a genius). My husband hates social situations, although he does fine if I can actually force him to go and be around people. This includes his own family. He has this awkward thing where he hates to be around them, but he feels guilty if he's not with them at holidays, etc. His day is very scheduled and he gets anxious if anything messes with that schedule. He eats the same things everyday for breakfast and lunch. We can switch what that is (we switched brands of protein bars for breakfast, for example), but it's generally the same every day. He sees things as very black and white. For example, he takes a peanut butter sandwich for lunch every day. We're out of peanut butter today. Me? I'd get lunch from McDonald's. Dan? Cannot come up with a solution on his own, and would never dream of going out for lunch. He takes his lunch. There is no other option. I think he ended up scraping a bit of peanut butter from the bottom of the jar. He doesn't really have any emotions, so he doesn't understand when I'm emotional. If I'm upset with him, he wants me to shut up and go away and forget it. He just can't deal with it.

Honestly? It's exhausting for me. I teach kids on the autism spectrum and have to deal with their quirks all day... and then I come home and deal with an adult who also doesn't have any perspective outside his own. My son also has some spectrum issues, but he's not as bad as his dad. My daughter has OCD tendencies and had an eating disorder at one point. So just know that if you have children with someone who is on the autism spectrum, your children may also have those tendencies, or have an associated disorder.

That said... I love my family. Quirks and all. I'm not without a few of my own, I suppose. They make me happy every day.