Looking for a kit... not finding a perfect fit - hard times

[littlebitofe]

I might have mentioned on here that we lost our son at 20 weeks in May. He was due October 4th. We were on vacation when we found out. We believe it was due to a blood clotting disorder that I have (found out after this tragedy).

When I delivered him we took photos and I journaled for about a month after - telling his story, our story, how I felt about it all, how I was coping, etc.

Now I want to put it all together in an album. I originally purchased a kit from Creative Memories because I was using SBC+ - then I discovered how much I disliked the program. I have since not been able to find a kit with the same feel. Most of the baby kits just don't work - I don't want to deal with rattles and rocking horses for our baby born at 7" long. Do you know what I mean? Flowers, buttons, etc, yet - bibs and bottles - no.

The kit that I bought and made the thank you notes is here (http://www.creativememories.com/Content/Shop/Product.aspx?pr=InspectOffering&s=650040&dpr=BrowseCategory&ds=/Hierarchy/Digital%20Solutions/StoryBook%20Creator%20Artwork/Kits%20and%20Collections/Kits%20for%20SBC).

Besides the fact that the kit is pretty plain, I love the colors - blues, silvers, greys, and blacks - which is exactly how the whole experience was for our family. Most of the pictures we have are black and white - they are easier to look at that way because of his size.

Can anyone help me find something else that will work? I'm having the absolute hardest time. The closest I have come is The Sun Will Come Out by Sugarplum Paperie (https://www.sweetshoppedesigns.com/sweetshoppe/product.php?productid=23086&cat=0&page=1). And I'm just not certain this is THE kit.

[Robin Carlton]

How bout Kristin's A Legacy of Love (https://www.sweetshoppedesigns.com/sweetshoppe/product.php?productid=22238)...?

Here's the kit...

https://www.sweetshoppedesigns.com/sweetshoppe/images/cache/cd94bd95cc70f876a67e806f9924ac48.jpg

and a gorgeous baby layout made with it...

https://www.sweetshoppedesigns.com/sweetshoppe/images/cache/880158927cae054b208d055889605b62.jpg

[littlebitofe]

Robin, I saw this one, but I never compared it to what I had already picked. They are so similar! I spent a billion hours picking out that other kit. I think one will be perfect!!!!! Thank you. Into my cart.... :)

[Robin Carlton]

I think it will make a beautiful tribute to your little one. So sorry for your loss. Glad I could help <3

[Jenn Barrette]

I am so sorry for your loss :(

The one might work as well -

https://www.sweetshoppedesigns.com/sweetshoppe/images/cache/f09a1721fbc73fd5373d41cbf05f5ae3.jpg (https://www.sweetshoppedesigns.com/sweetshoppe/product.php?productid=23901&cat=0&page=1)

If you are ever looking for a little scrap therapy for yourself; a way to get some of how your feel on to paper, Traci Reed and I really tried capture that dark place that the sadness of such a loss can create -

https://www.sweetshoppedesigns.com/sweetshoppe/images/cache/f83fa2af57059d805c6b45fc874a105a.jpg (https://www.sweetshoppedesigns.com/sweetshoppe/product.php?productid=24477&cat=531&page=2)

I don't know this pain first hand, but I know there are some ladies here that do, we are here if you need anything. (hugs)

[hollyxann]

I am so sorry for your loss.

Jenn beat me to the Missing You kit, and Robin beat me with KCBs kit Legacy of Love.
Here are some other's that I think would work....I know they aren't exactly the right colors but I think they could still work.
https://www.sweetshoppedesigns.com/sweetshoppe/images/cache/f62b52280448b66aaec26877c6468051.jpg (https://www.sweetshoppedesigns.com/sweetshoppe/product.php?productid=23134&cat=0&page=1)
https://www.sweetshoppedesigns.com/sweetshoppe/images/cache/af65fec43d0b14fef66f5e6ad46e505b.jpg (https://www.sweetshoppedesigns.com/sweetshoppe/product.php?productid=24020&cat=0&page=1)
https://www.sweetshoppedesigns.com/sweetshoppe/images/cache/715cd13e182890478a58f89e99543e3e.jpg (https://www.sweetshoppedesigns.com/sweetshoppe/product.php?productid=21418&cat=0&page=1)

[Sherri Tierney]

I don't have kit suggestions but I did want to come and give you some virtual hugs. I think it is so brave of you to tell your son's story like this and so special. I can also imagine that it was very healing and cathartic for you to journal like you did.

I lost my first child, a son, at 20 weeks as well. My loss is not fresh like yours as my angel was born on Father's Day of 2001. I only have one picture of my baby boy. 11 years ago people thought I was kind of crazy for taking that one picture too. I'm glad I have it though. Time has been a huge healer but I still have days where the loss feels brand new.

Thinking of you and praying for you as you go through this holiday season. Holidays, due dates and birthdays are always the hardest for me.

[jacinda]

So many wonderful kits have already been suggested. I just wanted to give you a big hug too. I've not lost a child myself, so really can't imagine what you're going through, but I did lose my baby brother when I was about 8. I remember not being able to even look at his photo album without breaking down, or read the words Mum/Dad and us kids had journalled, for about 20 years afterwards, because the pain felt so fresh. You are very strong to document his life so soon after losing him, and I mean that in the nicest possible way. Huge hugs from me.

[origami]

Also praying for your loss as well. Your loss is very real and I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I don't have any kit suggestions, but there are so many here at SSD that I think would work for you as you journal through this sad time. I also agree that you'll also find a really wonderful community here.

[littlebitofe]

You all are so wonderful.

Sherri - hugs to you, also. I'm really glad the progress that we as a people have made in regards to loss and the pictures after such a tragedy. I'm so glad you have that one picture. I know so many people who didn't have ANY and it is still crushing to them.

Time heals many hurts, but not all of them. I truly can see God's plan to a degree, though I will never really know every reason He has. We are expecting twins now, so I really am eager (not sure that is the right word) to put this together for our son, Jaron Truth. We had a memorial service and a have a few pictures from that. I journaled for HOURS into the night for weeks. Cry, type, cry, type. It seemed to be the only way to get myself to sleep at times. The pain was so deep and yet, I have grown so much from it. I have learned (even though I thought I had) the depth of love a parent has for their child and what truly are the most important things in live (never "things").

I ended up with the Legacy of Love and I really think it is going to be absolutely perfect for these special pictures.

You all are so sweet. Thank you again for being a virtual shoulder to cry on. Hugs to all of you!!

[Libby Pritchett]

Oh you poor sweetie! I just want to offer hugs, too. I also have a blood clotting disorder (Factor V Leiden), so I wanted to offer you hope. I now have a beautiful 9 month old daughter that I'm so thankful for. It required giving myself shots every day of my pregnancy, but I would do it for her all over again.

I hope this pregnancy goes smoothly and that you can hold your sweet babies in your arms soon.

*HUGS*

[heathergw]

I just want to give you a big giant (((hug)))... I too have a clotting disorder and had 4 miscarriages before we found out... I also had to do the shots and baby aspirin and now have my two rambunctious boys who are 4 and almost 2... the healing from the pain of losing those babies has taken a long time and the pain never goes away but with time it does get easier... know that I am praying for you and praying for the twins (((hugs)))

[littlebitofe]

Thank you Libby and Heather. Heather, when I read about your miscarriages I really wandered if you had a clotting disorder. They seem to be so common these days. It's strange to me because I never knew I had it and had 6 successful pregnancies. I did miscarry before but it was due to progesterone and was so early on. My gene mutations cause the clotting issues (and folic acid deficiency). I have A1298t and C677T (homozygous for both). Another friend of mine has Factor V Leiden, but found out before she started having children. Another friend of mine lost 4 babies in a row before finding out. She is due now in just a few weeks and we are so excited for her.

I'm on heparin twice a day plus 5 x the normal amount of folic acid. I have had to learn a new level of trust hope and faith. So we are naming these little girls Faith and Hope. :)

[Ronisdragon]

I just want to tell you I am so sorry for your loss. I recently had an early miscarriage and I know how painful it is. I think it is wonderful you are going to scrap about it. I have been wanting to to that and I even chose a kit but I just don't feel strong enough to do it. I hope you are getting lots of support. There is a group called Share that has wonderful support groups. I don't know if they are located near you but I have found them very helpful. Please know you are in my thoughts. Hang in there.