MIA but not forever...(long post)

[Kimberly27]

I hate that I have been MIA for so long! I miss scrapping a lot! Working full time and traveling have kept us busy as well as my mom. My mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in December 2021. After surgery and many rounds of chemo she was told it was not working. We got the news in November she would be put on hospice. We visiting Thanksgiving weekend. She was still doing really well. She lives alone so my sister, dad and mom's best friends took turns staying with her. She was still going upstairs to bed and moving around ok. She was still doing ok but had been put into a hospital bed after we left on Thanksgiving. I got a call on Dec 12 from my sister that Mom wanted to do Christmas with us that weekend. She didn't think she would make it. So we dropped everything and flew to VA on Dec 14. We had Christmas with her on the 15th. She quickly declined after our Christmas with her. She was talking to us a little and interacting some but quickly went to sleeping all the time. As we upped the morphine she slept a lot more. I spent the night with her on New Years Day. At 4am the next morning (I was getting up every hour to give her morphine so no sleep) I noticed her breathing was slower and more rattle. I called the nurse on call and she told me she was on the way but call someone to stay with me. I called hubby and told him to get over there and waited for the nurse. She checked her out and told me everything was normal and her regular nurse would be coming in a couple of hours. Her Blood pressure had dropped as well as her breaths per minute. Once the nurse and my dad had been informed that we had hours not days left I called my siblings to come up as well as her two best friends. We all spent the day with her, talking to her. I left about 5pm to get a shower and dinner and maybe some sleep since nothing had changed. We were finishing up dinner when I got the call she was gone. I went back over to the house to sit with my dad and sister while we waited for the nurse and funeral home. My heart is shattered but I know she is no longer in pain. I don't know how to operate without her yet but I know it will get easier. Funeral is tomorrow (Tuesday Jan 07) then we head back home on the 9th.
I hope to get back to scrapping and document the memories we made with her. <3 She was an amazing woman who touched a lot of lives.

[Cheryl Ashcraft]

Oh, dear Kimberly. I lost my Mama in March 2024, with her decline beginning the week before Thanksgiving 2023. She had liver cancer. What you describe is also what I experienced. The back and forth, the uncertainty, the devastation.

I had to take a good 5 months for me to grieve. I'm just now getting to the spot where I can create layouts about Mama without coming apart at the seams.

I pray for you as you go through the final actions and as you face the coming month, that you will be flooded with peace and surrounded by those who can comfort you with warm hugs and give a listening ear to your grief. I pray that you will be able to embrace all the memories, and that you can begin creating layouts as soon as possible, as I have found the process so healing, and I hope you will as well.

Sending love and hugs. Please message me if you ever feel the need to chat.

[LynnZant]

I'm so sorry about your mom. (((HUGS))) Scrapping about my dad after he passed is what brought me out of lurking and into the scrapbooking community. Making pages about your wonderful mother will be a sweet tribute to her.

[SweetChar]

I'm so sorry, Kimberly. I'll be praying for you and your family.

[Studio Liv]

I'm so sorry for your loss :(

[stephc777]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family!

[EvelynD2]

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious mama! I have gone through that journey and know how heartbreaking it is. I will be praying for you and your family.

[got2scrap]

I am so sorry for your loss Kimberly. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hugs and love.

[wendyp]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Keeping you all in my prayers

[Saar]

Oh my sweet friend. Hugs!
I saw the message on FB about your mom.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Sending you lots of love and warm hugs. I'll be thinking of you and your family today.

[nietis]

Big big hugs to you, Kimberly! I've missed seeing you around the forum, but I am glad that you've got to spend time with your mama and made precious memories before she passed.
I'll be thinking of you and your family these days. Hugs again.

[HeatherB]

So sorry for your loss Kimberly.

[Brendazzle]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you got to spend those last days with her and that everyone got to say goodbye. It's not much of a consolation but I know the happy memories together helped me get through all of my losses.

[bienejen]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you got to spend time with her and make more memories.

[Robin Carlton]

So sorry for your loss Kimberly. Like Cheryl, what you describe sounds so familiar to me. It is so so so hard losing your mom, especially if you were close throughout your life. I lost mine in 2015 and sometimes it still hits me hard that I can't just call her. It DOES get easier though and like you said, knowing she isn't in pain anymore is a huge relief. Tons of love coming your way. I'm so glad to know that you are comfortable enough here at SSD to share with and lean on us, even if it's in a small way.

[lizziej]

Oh, Kimberly, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's passing. I'm glad to know that you were able to spend time with her, especially Christmas. Sending prayers to you and your family. May your beautiful memories of her ease your grief. {{{hugs}}}

[HavaDrPepper]

I'm sorry about the loss of your mom. Losing a parent around the holidays is especially hard. My mom passed Dec 26th and we had the funeral on Dec 31st.

Something I read recently that resonated with me (even though my mother has been gone 28 years) was this:

Grief is like a ball when you are in a room with a button. When the grief is new and fresh the ball takes up the whole room so the button is always being pushed. Over time the ball gets smaller and bounces around the room, sometimes it hits the button and other times it doesn't. Grief doesn't become less hard, it just doesn't hit the button all the time

For me the button gets pushed around the holidays although it has eased over the years, some years I feel it more.

[Kiana]

Oh my Kimberley I am sending you many condolences and strength as you move through your grief.

[KristinCB]

This sounds so hard, kimberly, I can't even imagine. Sending you hugs <3 <3

[StacyLynn]

Sending you lots of prayers during this difficult time. Grief affects us all different... just when you think you may be doing somewhat better, another wave hits... at least thats how it is with me. I pray your memories help you with your grief.

[Becca Bonneville]

I am so sorry! Such a difficult time. Sending you hugs and prayers.

[lorigaud]

Thinking of you, Kimberly. I'm sure today was incredibly difficult, just as the last weeks have been. It's such a devastating loss. I hope your memories bring you some peace. Big hugs coming your way.

[scrappy_donna]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and prayers.

[Willemijne DSI]

I'm really sorry for your loss.. it's so hard losing a parent :(

Sent from my Pixel 7a using Tapatalk

[HeyJude]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Kimberly. I hope you are able to peace in all the wonderful memories of your mom.

[Leablahblah]

Oh Kimberly I am so sorry :(

[laurabobaura]

big hugs your way xo

[jaye]

Kimberly I am so sorry for your loss. I am happy you were able to spend so much time with her near the end. May your memories of your mom, give you peace and joy. Keeping you in my thoughts.

[aussiegirl]

So sorry for your loss! Will be praying for you and your family! It is hard losing your mom. I made sure that even in those first few days without her, we continued to talk about her, remember her, and not "avoid" the subject of her. I wanted us to remember the good times and not feel like it was a taboo subject for anyone. I feel that helped my family to still be able to talk about her to this day without it feeling incredibly sad.

There will be hard days, some more than others. You will see or hear something that will remind you of her. My mom shows up in my dreams at times, and while others may find that weird, I actually take comfort in it. It helps me to "see" and "hear" her in ways I can't otherwise.

Give yourself time to mourn and to be there for other members of your family. Thankful she is no longer in pain.

[rach3975]

I'm so sorry for your loss!

[cherrygutz]

I am so so sorry for your loss.

[LJSDesigns]

My condolences, Kimberly. I will be thinking of you and your family and wishing you all the best during this most difficult time.

[tjscraps]

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom <3

[knittingbec]

I’m sorry. I’m glad that you were able to spend your mom’s last days with her and your family. I hope you will find comfort in the memories you’ve made with your mom, and that scrapbooking them will be therapeutic for you ��

[mmbstaley]

Wishing you peace and comfort during this time of loss, Kimberly.

[Kimberly27]

Thank you all so much. It is hard being in TX and the rest of the family is in Virginia/North Carolina. I was so ready to come after being gone for over 4 weeks but it was sad leaving everything. My brother and sister are close to each other and spend a lot of time together. I am still at the point where I cry all the time when I talk about her or think about her. She kept telling us at the end she just wanted to go see Jesus. <3 I know she is pain free now and no longer suffering but I still need my mama. I have an amazing relationship with my mother in law but it still isn't the same.One day at a time right? :) One day at a time.


I spent some time at her house before I left going through some photos and random boxes in the basement. It felt weird being in an empty house...I expected her to walk in. My dad came by and we had a moment talking and remembering her. I found some middle school scrapbooks that she had made. She met my dad in 7th grade and they started dating. She kept slurpie cups from when they would go get them at 7-Eleven. He was shocked she had kept them all. There are so many little things she kept from her childhood. My siblings will probably want to throw it all away. I just hope they don't and wait for me to clean out her house.

[Tracie Stroud]

I'm so very sorry Kimberly. Praying for all of you.

[MamaBee]

oh my gosh - I'm so sorry for your loss. Lifting you and your family in my prayers.

[cinna]

I am so sorry for your loss Kimberley. What you went through is similar what I did with my dad in 2022. He got leukemia and was gone within three weeks from when we found out. Everyone says it will get easier but I still miss him so much. We were very close and I still have moments when the grief hits me so hard and all I can do is cry.
Just a year later I also lost my mom (a sudden death - no illness) so life has been hard.

[allyanne]

I'm so sorry. I lost my mom to leukemia when I was 22, and it was absolutely devastating. The most helpful thing anyone ever said to me was, "When my mother died, I cried everyday." And I was thankful that someone else acknowledged that part of it. She's been gone almost 27 years, and sometimes, I still cry everyday. It doesn't go away, but it will get a little better, a little easier, a little less raw. But take all the time you need to grieve and cry and work through it. Another thing that helped me so much was to just talk about her all the time, to anyone who would listen. Her illness and death were swift, sudden, and unexpected, and the trauma of that experience stayed with me for a looooonnnnnggggg time. I needed to talk about it a lot, and the most helpful friends in my life were the ones who weren't afraid to listen.

Big hugs and prayers to you. I'm really sorry you're going through this.

[JillW]

I'm just catching up now and am so sorry Kimberly. I'm grateful that you were able to help her out so much, I'm sure she was very thankful for that as well, even if she could not communicate that to you.

I lost my mom to cancer in 2011 and I agree, those ups and downs are hard to handle. I too know that she is no longer in pain (and she shared with my sisters and I that was very ready to meet the Lord), so that helped ease the pain a bit. Even after all of these years, I still miss her, and the tears still come pretty easily. A month or so before she passed, she reminded my sisters and I that she will always be with us and when we miss her, we should put our hand over our heart and know that she's right there.

A friend posted this poem on FB today and I found it ever so true.

https://i.postimg.cc/FsKCb7hV/472336919-583687181091317-4089352088857887721-n.jpg

I'm praying for you and your family and sending you gentle hugs Kimberly.

[carrie1977]

I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. Big, big hugs to all of you. :wub:

[Kimberly27]

Thank you! The poem was great. I appreciate the encouragement and support.

[LauraOD]

So sorry for your loss, Kimberly. You must be exhausted. Sending prayers.

[Vrielinkie]

Sorry for your loss....

[nietis]

Big big hugs, Kimberly. I'm thinking of you.

[Cheryl Ashcraft]

Thank you all so much. It is hard being in TX and the rest of the family is in Virginia/North Carolina. I was so ready to come after being gone for over 4 weeks but it was sad leaving everything. My brother and sister are close to each other and spend a lot of time together. I am still at the point where I cry all the time when I talk about her or think about her. She kept telling us at the end she just wanted to go see Jesus. <3 I know she is pain free now and no longer suffering but I still need my mama. I have an amazing relationship with my mother in law but it still isn't the same.One day at a time right? :) One day at a time.


I spent some time at her house before I left going through some photos and random boxes in the basement. It felt weird being in an empty house...I expected her to walk in. My dad came by and we had a moment talking and remembering her. I found some middle school scrapbooks that she had made. She met my dad in 7th grade and they started dating. She kept slurpie cups from when they would go get them at 7-Eleven. He was shocked she had kept them all. There are so many little things she kept from her childhood. My siblings will probably want to throw it all away. I just hope they don't and wait for me to clean out her house.

Thank you so much for updating us! I know my Mama said she was ready to go many times. In fact, one Saturday when she woke up, she declared it was the day she was leaving us. Note: It didn't happen that day.

Continuing to pray for you as you walk down this road.

[HavaDrPepper]

Thank you so much for updating us! I know my Mama said she was ready to go many times. In fact, one Saturday when she woke up, she declared it was the day she was leaving us. Note: It didn't happen that day.

Continuing to pray for you as you walk down this road.

My mom was in the hospital when she passed. We did know it was coming. We were in Florida and my aunt and uncle were there with us. My aunt and I were with Mom on the afternoon of the 23rd when Mom made a comment out of nowhere "My mom passed on the 26th" (November 26 1971). My aunt and I thought nothing of it. Well, Dad and I got the phone call around 6:30 a.m. on the 26th that she had passed. She held on those couple of days and passed on December 26th.

[norton94]

Kimberly I'm so sorry for your loss

[craftytam]

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Kimberly. I'm praying for peace and comfort for your family.

[TraceyM]

I'm so sorry Kim. The immediate grief does get better with time and you learn to live with wonderful memories and teachings. But when you have a mother you adore, you will always feel the loss. I lost mine almost 2 years ago now although I lost her slowly first to Alzheimer's. The last few weeks were excruciatingly difficult though. I was missing the mom she was so badly that year before she passed as her decline had become so much worse and I hadn't seen her in person due to covid in too long. But like you know your mom is no longer in pain, I know my mom no longer need to live a life in a way she would have hated for herself.