I am so sad.. and pissed...
 

I just posted this on FB.. but...

My mom is the cafeteria manager at my kids school. She was talking to Abby this morning and telling her what a great job she did last night and how cute she was.. and this friend of Abby's... I'll call her C.. came up to Abby and my mom and said.. "My parents said how fat you were in your costume last night and you shouldn't have been on that stage.. she should have given the part to someone thinner." My mom jumped to Abby's defense, obviously, and C said well she was fat and walked away. :cursing:
First off.. who the HELL DOES THAT??? Second.. omg.. who says that to their kids??????? Christ.

So anyway.. then the music teacher came in and told Abby how wonderful she was and gave her a big hug.. my mom told her what C said and the teacher told Abby.. you just don't worry about that.. brush it off.. other people don't know how wonderful you really are.

According to my mom, Abby is fine.. I'm just so... angry and sad.

I emailed Abby's teacher... C is in the same class.. and supposedly one of Abby's "friends". Grrr. :cursing:

I just saw that one facebook, that is sooo awful :( I'm sorry that happened to your dd :(

I'm so sorry that happened to her! It's bad enough when the kids are cruel to each other, but it's terrible when it's the parents making those remarks to their kids!

Kids can be mean enough on their own, but to have a parent, provoke that & encourage that kind of behavior is disgusting.

Abby is beautiful.

Hugs momma.

Oh Sara, I'm sorry! Kids can be soooooooooooooooooooooo incredibly VICIOUS!!!!!!!

Somehow, I have a feeling "C" will be the next 'bully' on campus... if not already. UGH!!!

Sadly, we can't even really blame "C"... we must blame her parents, she learned this behavior from them obviously. Mean, mean, mean!!!!! MEAN!!

I would be livid! I'm so sorry that happened :( What kind of adults say something like that about a kid?!

WTH kind of parent not only says that, but says it in front of an impressionable child???

Wow, I'd be upset.. What a mean and awful thing to say :|

Big hugs for your dd :)

That's horrible!! I'm so sorry that happened. Sometimes I'm shocked by what I hear from kids until I see their parent's behavior.

WOW! I can't believe that. :( That would break my heart. And why in the world would the parents ever say anything like that to a child! So sad!

Oh me too! So many times I think "what a mean kid" or something of the like... then I see their parents and I think "ohhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooo wonderrrrr!!!!".

Exactly.

I cannot believe that "C" parents even HAD that conversation especially in front of the kid! That is so beyond ridiculous. I am so glad your mom was standing there with your DD and was able to take control of the situation. Hopefully something is said to C and her parents. I am totally shocked, angry and even find myself speechless. Super big hugs to you and your DD!

I am so, so sorry. That is horrible. :(

The fact that Abby seems okay shows how well you're doing to teach her to love herself. Weight is a big button-pusher for me, but all of us are subject to criticism in one way or another. None of us escapes it, so knowing how to focus on what's important vs. the cruel things that can be said is a true life skill.

Sara, maybe the school can take this moment and use it as a teaching skill to the kid "C"?? She may honestly not even realize how hurtful it can be because most likely to her it is normal-everyday-type of conversation in her house. I am sure those parents say all sorts of mean/hurtful things about many more of the kids. Better yet, maybe the parents should be told how mean and hurtful it is... jerks!

Good grief! I am SO sorry that happened, Sara! Some people are just unbelievable. Sounds to me like that little girl needs a trip to the guidance counselor asap! You just keep being the awesome mom you are, lifting Abby up, and teaching her to love and accept herself and others. Hugs to you both!

this :) HUGS to you and Abby and I think she looked absolutely adorable in her costume :)

I am speechless. I cannot believe someone would say something so hurtful to such a precious little girl!

I worry about this all the time with my older boy. I'm so sorry that this happened to her. She looks fabulous in her costume and so incredibly happy to be a part of it all too!

I was always the "big" girl in my class. I heard comments like that all the time :( I hate that the parents are instigating this kind of attitude. What a bad example to set for your kids.

I it makes me so angry when kids are so cruel like that. There has been many a times when one of my kids comes home crying because of something a kid said. As a mother it just breaks your heart. Let Abby know that it's not just someones weight that makes people pick on other kids it can be anything. Kids are cruel no matter what if that is who they are. And usually the kid picking on another kid feels inferior in some sorta way and picking on someone is a way to make them feel better about themselves. It totally sucks though and my heart aches for your little girl. Hug her tight and tell her she is beautiful inside and out.

I completely blame the parents. Likely C would never have thought of that on her own. It's APPALLING that parents could say that in front of their children.

I'd insist that the parents of this child be contacted so they could know how hurtful their words were.

What a shame that people feel it necessary to teach their kids how to be mean.

I'm so sorry.

Wow. Just. Wow. I'm so sorry, Sara.

Ugh. That kind of thing is just heartbreaking. Big hugs to your beautiful Abby and to you.

Wow. :cursing:

This. :glare:

How sad... especially for C. Because it's obvious from Abby's reaction that she knows she's loved and she's awesome... so she can let it roll off her back. But C? I feel sorry that she is growing up under the influence of such callous people. :closedeyes:

That's terrible Sara :(

Thanks girls.. I talked to her teacher this am.. who is AWESOME.. and she handled it... she talked to Abby and she talked to C and a phone call was placed to C's parents.. and I'm leaving it at that. Her teacher said Abby is totally fine, but she said she suggested that Abby find other friends to sit w/ at lunch and play with at recess.

Why do people have to comment? Those parents are just horrible!! Abby is beautiful... C and her parents had no right to say anything... mean people suck!

I have no words but offer big cyber hugs right now. Parents and their children can be so mean.

Im sorry. I had a similar experience years ago. This boy in a mall around christmas time said something like Gawd you are fat to my son. I told his parents and they said so he is fat. I wanted to ask if they have looked at their son who was at least twice the size my son was or at themselves because they were extrewmely overweight as well but I just shook my head and walked away. Talked to my son later about how that was not nice and how a person can be a good person no matter what size they are just like they can be a bad person at any size!!

Abby was the better person in that she did not respond to the girl and I think she looked adorable in her costume. Oh and for what it is worth My daughter had a "friend" like the girl who made that comment to your daughter all the way through middle school/high school. She was sooo mean to my daughter and jealous over everything. My daughter eventually got to the point where she quit talking to her. She was toxic to be around.

That's just awful...just completely awful :(

Sounds like you've got a teacher who isn't going to let this sort of thing get past her!

It also sounds like you're an amazing mom who has instilled self-confidence and self-esteem in your daughter!

Honestly, I'm more worried about your daughter's friend and what the effect of her parents' attitude will have on HER self-esteem and living up to their expectations. Her parents obviously have NO social filter and obviously she hasn't developed one either.

I'm glad Abby's teacher took care of it straight away. Its really hard to say whether this friend meant any harm or was just parroting what her parents had said. Sometimes kids just don't get it and they take everything their parents say to be the truth, you know? Sounds like the parents are the ones who need the talking to from the teacher.

No.. I'm not super fond of this "friend" anyways... she's been mean to Abby before... but my kid likes everyone and can't comprehend that people don't like her, kwim?

That kind of spewing hatred is NOT ok with me. Gosh! Kids are so mean sometimes... and yes, their parents too! I am glad her teacher is working hard to sort things out.

Wow. That situations speaks volumes for the level of class "C"'s family is at. I am so glad your mom was right there, and heard it herself. Glad that both the classroom and music teachers took the matter seriously too and did not minimize the issue. Sounds like your daughter and your family have solid support. Isn't it amazing that there are people that think this way for one thing and then lack any social filter whatsoever and actually SAY what's on their minds! Mean people suck. :thumbdown:

This is my daughter. She loves everyone and will be nice to everyone. But she's not socially savvy enough to realize that some kids don't like her. It makes me sad.

I'm glad C's parents were called because they should know that their callous words harmed their own daughter and your daughter.

Boo on them.

Wow...some parents just don't have a clue. I am speechless that any adult would say that about a child and to say it in front of another child...One of the mom's on my son's baseball team had a similar incident with her 4 year old son...It's crazy what adults teach these kids...I'm glad your daughter has enough self esteem and confidence to not let it get to her...

That is just horrible...all the way around!

I'm so glad you mom was there when it happened and that the teacher did something about it.

That is so heartbreaking. :( I'm so sorry your sweet precious BEAUTIFUL girl had to be subjected to such a mean and hateful thing.

This just made me cry. I'm glad your dd is doing OK and I hope she finds better friends to hang out with. It is truly sad to see children acting that way and I agree, it's shocking until you see their parents. Big hugs to you and your dd!

that's awful. My Emma (she's 6) and she's big for her age. i of course think she's beautiful. It's one thing to be teased by kids, but for a parent to say that?! incredibly rude. i'm so sorry Abby had to hear that. ((hugs))

aww, she sounds a lot like my Emma. she is a pretty friendly girl too. sounds like Abby has a great teacher too. And good for Abby for not letting those words hurt her. keep up the good work, Mom! ;)

I wonder then if C's mom was sourgraping. Good to hear your daughter is fine. That is so upsetting, though! :(

Aw Sara, I'm so sorry. Kids can be so mean :(. Big hugs to Abby and you. x

{sob} You've done a great job giving your daughter a good sense of her self worth, Sara; she's lucky to hve you.

I agree with Krystal. So glad the teacher took care of it. I find it sad how people have no problem talking about people's weight, like its totally acceptable to make fun of someone being fat.

OH.MY.GOSH!!! That is just horrid! Obviously these parents have jealousy issues that they are passing onto their child. That is just so sick and wrong! Grrr, makes me mad too!!

Sad to say, in our society it is acceptable. With all the awareness we have on treating people equally no matter their race, gender, religion, etc... it is still okay to make fun of fat people. It is also okay to judge them. People look at someone like me and think I am lazy or a pig who eats all the time. My best friend eats way more than I do and she is thin, but she was blessed with a good metabolism and I was "blessed" with thyroid issues including cancer. She is judged for how she looks too, but her judgement is favorable and mine is not.

I've had weight issues my whole life and for the most part, I am pretty okay with who I am, but sometimes I still feel that I should apologize and even explain why losing weight or being thin is so hard for me. Those times are usually when I know someone is judging me by the way they act or the look they give me or even what they say. And people are very careless about what they say. I think it's because all fat people are supposed to be jolly too. Whatever.

Sara, I think it is great that you are teaching your daughter to love who she is no matter what size she is. We can only hope that C's parents will take a hard look at themselves and their values and try to become better people. And that as a society, we can stop judging one another based our outward appearances and start judging each other on who we are inside. Or maybe just stop judging each other all together.

<meekly stepping off soap box now; sorry hot button topic for me as well.>