Self help and improvement?
 

Hi, I'm a bit unsure about posting this but hey.

With the new year coming up I guess we all start to think about changes we can make and resolutions. I've never been one for making resolutions because I figure that I won't keep them up. However I am starting this think more about myself and how I am perceived by others.

I am a realist, and certainly not optimistic, however I feel that I am funny and have a good sense of humour. Some people around me have a different spin on it though, I have been called negative and other less than complimentary things.

I don't see anything wrong with being realistic, life isn't sunshine and roses. However I am thinking more about trying to be more positive. I do find myself seeing the worst in myself and and always the first to criticize me and my many flaws.

I have been doing Project life which has helped somewhat in seeing the good things in life, but I know it's not easy to change a way of thinking.

But this year I really do want to try and be more sunny side up. My questions for you wonderful people is about self help books, I think self help is maybe bigger in the US than here in the UK, but basically do the books work? Has anyone read a really good one they can recommend, or share any tips that may help.

Sorry if this thread isn't really right for this forum I just thought I'd ask. Thanks in advance.

i don't know of any books, but i have to say that just the fact that you see this about yourself means that you're conscious of it. that's gotta be a pretty good stat right?

I'm following this because I need to find some good books myself to get things moving back in the right direction for 2015. So you are not alone!!!

Last year I did Ali Edwards "One Little Word" and the first half of the year I really worked on my word (which was Open) and it helped me stay focused on what I was doing. I liked working through her prompts. Not to say that is just as good as books or other ways to coach yourself, but it might be something to consider. I think having a push each month to take a look at how you are doing helped me. I just wish I would have kept up with the prompts through the whole year.

I am not sure of any books, but by your description of yourself you sound an awful lot like me :) The trick is to not worry about what others think so much (for me that's hard because I'm a people pleaser), but I have found this past year, that I have become a lot 'happier' and that 'sunshiney' part shows more around others because I only worry about me (and my hubby and kids), and the rest can take it or leave it. Sounds harsh, but in reality it has made a lot of outside relationships better. It's all about finding your groove and what makes you happiest. :)

Thank you for the advice and comments, you're right I do need to stop letting other people affect me and my moods. It's hard especially in work, I started a new job this time last year and I absolutely love it, but I don't fit in yet. There are two groups at work, one a groups of older people who've worked together to for years and years and just fit together. the other group is about 7 years younger than me and well cooler. I'm trying to figure out where I fit in and who I am ... Crikey this is getting a bit deep.

I think that sounds like a wonderful goal! I don't have any good book advice, but you might find something by searching Pinterest. People often Pin books or articles on particular topics that have inspired them.

This is a great new years resolution!!! There are TONS of self-help books out there and they *will* make a difference if you do the work. The book won't do it for you, but if you are committed to making an effort if will really make a difference. I think in the long run also seeing the lighter brighter side of life will also be good for you and your own health. Life stinks, I agree, but it doesn't mean we have to be miserable, we can still be happy even when the world is a mess.

Do you have a library nearby? There are many books out there, you need to find the right one that resonates with you. A library would be a way to explore a variety of authors and find one that speaks to you. Some books have a metaphysical basis, others a Christian basis. Some might be a bit on the sugary side which might not work for you.

I used to work in a metaphysical bookstore and the authors that were popular were: Lousie Hay, Marianne Williamson, Carolyn Myss, Wayne Dyer. I'm sure though, you could find equally empowering books from a Christian basis as well.

Good luck on your adventure!

I've heard that some people find keeping a gratitude journal helps. I'm sorry I don't have a book to recommend.

I LOVE self help books! The Happiness Project by Gretchen Ruben is one of my favorites. She doesn't give advice, she just takes it (all of it!) and then processes what works for her and what she learns about herself from it. When I read it, it really got me thinking about a lot of little ways to be more intentional about being happy.

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp is about cultivating gratitude and is only $2.99 for Kindle.

I've just started reading some of Brene Brown's books, and her research on shame & vulnerability and whole hearted living are really powerful.

I have been choosing a word every year in the 'One Little Word' style. I don't do anything formal with it, but I keep that word in mind as I go through my days/weeks. I find it really helps. Perhaps you can choose a word that reminds you of how you want to feel.

I need to work on my negativity a little myself. I am positive and happy around strangers but my closest friends and family get the not-always-so-happy me and they probably think I'm negative all the time. :(

I also really liked the Happiness Project. She was basically just a regular (slightly up-tight) mom who tested out various happiness recommendations on herself (I think 1 per month) to see which ones really worked. It gave me some good things to try out.

Thanks for the names, I've popped to Amazon and downloaded some free samples to see which ones agree with me.

That's awesome! Didn't know you could get samples. So cool!