Where do I start? (Childhood mental health)
 

I'm looking for some advice.

My 6 yo son has always been more emotionally sensitive than our other kids, and we are starting to wonder if he might have some anxiety or depression. He is extremely self-conscious, has little to no self-esteem, thinks he's a loser, has anxiety about trying new activities, worries that everyone is always laughing at him and wants to be alone most of the time. He is always looking for reassurance that he is loved. He gets irrational more and more often, melting down at the slightest things, and saying that he knows we don't love him. He also has bad dreams most nights in which he says people -- including me -- are killing him.

I don't know where to even start in getting him evaluated. I talked to a pediatrician who said this behavior can be normal, but my gut tells me there is something going on. Anyone?

If your insurance covers therapy, I'd look into getting him into a counselor. big hugs, I know this stuff is hard

Go with your gut. My pediatrician was wonderful and gave me an instant referral for evaluation when I broached the subject of anxiety in my son, so I'd find a second opinion if you can.

In the meantime, I'd highly recommend Freeing Your Child From Anxiety. It helped us immediately with tools to work with Jamin while we decided whether or not to pursue counseling, etc.

Hugs Kara, I know it is scary, but there is lots of good help out there.

I'm so sorry Kara. I would start with his pediatrician as well.

Kara, I can totally relate. My 13 year old son is very much like you described your son.... right now he is having a meltdown and shut himself in the hall closet because I can't afford to buy him a World of Warcraft account until Thursday. He alternates between being a sweet and loving boy and a boy who tells me that I hate him and don't care about him and that he is going to run away. He also has pretty low self esteem and school is a major struggle.

He was diagnosed with ADHD, inattentive type last spring, and has had limited success with medications. We still haven't found one that really works well. He sees a counselor as well, and I have seen some improvements as a result of that, but it's hard. Almost every day. I love him so much and hate to see him struggle with this, but on the other hand I get so frustrated with him sometimes because it seems like he things deliberately to aggravate his brothers or his dad and I.

I would definitely start with the pediatrician. Go to a different one if the current one will not do anything to help you. I think a mother's gut feeling has a lot more merit than what one doctor says, kwim?

Good luck, Kara. It can be a long road, but I hope you can find the help you need.

Thanks all! I just got an email from his teacher saying that he is having more and more trouble staying focused in school. Will start with our pediatrician once he is back from vacation.

Great book rec, Misty. I'll check it out.

In my personal case you do not need a referral or anything for a child psychologist. I would start there. Even if there was not anything diagnosed clinically wrong maybe having some one to talk to could help, but in either case they are the specialists for behavior issues and do all the testing.

Child psychologists are wonderful. My son truly benefited when he was little. She helped him SO MUCH!

Here in town we have a mental health services department. That is where I recommend people here to call. If you don't get anywhere with his pediatrician then try calling around places that deal in mental health. They can help direct you the best place to go.

good luck either way Kara...my littlest (5...kindergartner) is struggling daily.....he was just diagnosed with ADHD in Oct and we are still trying to work on what works best with him learning at school....I recommend a peditirician first just to tell them what is going on and like Tanyia said, we didn't need a referral to see mental health for Peyton. He is seeing a child psychiatrist and he is amazing....another thing we just found out was Peyton needs glasses and the optometrist said that could also help with him learning at school, only time will tell.

Definitely look in the Child Psych., I would recommend finding someone who is certified in play therapy for a child that age, it's not necessary but can be helpful when you have a shy child(they may not talk but will usually play) and that gives the therapist something to evaluate.


Good Luck!

Oh, Kara, that breaks my heart. Issues like this in children are just so heartbreaking. I hope you can find the right way too help him realize how wonderful and loved he is. I have no suggestion, I have no real experience, just what I learned in some classes at school.

I have nothing to add, Kara. I think you've received some good advice here, and I have no personal experience. But, I wanted to offer HUGS and support. I think we've all had a little peek into your life over the last little while, and we KNOW what an amazing mother you are!!! Good luck with all of this. I can only imagine how hard it is to see your child struggling in this way. I think you are smart to trust your gut and pursue whatever avenues you need to to help your child. <3

Another vote to trust your gut and keep trying to find someone to evaluate your son. I hope whoever you decide to see can get you in quickly, but my experience with my DS's specialists has been that it can take months to get an initial visit. (Once you've been there once, they tend to be much faster about scheduling appointments.) If you want to pursue something while you wait, try talking to the counselor at your DS's school. They may have suggestions about what you and the teacher can do to help and may also be able to point you to some community resources.