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knittingbec 05-07-2019 02:34 PM

Help me overthink this!
 
If you have more than one child, do you use or avoid word art/journal cards that say things like "you are my favorite"/"you are my sunshine"/etc. on pages highlighting just one child?
Does including a card that says "you are my favorite work of art", "you are my everything", "you are my greatest adventure", etc. on a page about one child imply that the other child is not?
Do you work on the assumption that they're not going to take it literally?
Do you figure it will all even out eventually? (Or do you count them to make sure they're even?? ;) )

AshleyMilfd 05-07-2019 02:40 PM

Something I have pondered as well as i have one child but 2 step children. Do i avoid them as to not step on the feelings of the step children? I avoid them all just for this reason but i absolutely over think everything on trying to make things equal

KingsQueen82 05-07-2019 02:43 PM

I wonder this same thing! I've actually had a conversation with my girls (9 and 11) (b/c I worried, not that they ever expressed any concerns) and showed them a good mix of pages with I've made with each of them and those types of sayings. Once they started to see that it was pretty evenly distributed and that I use those same word arts on both of their pages they were okay.

I also had to do this with baby photos b/c I have far more of one child scrapped than the other simply because I had computer catastrophe a few years ago and her files got thrown onto this/that EHD to save them in time and it's just something I haven't gotten around to digging through yet. I scrap enough that they know I'll get there eventually and that my pages are created as inspiration and product (Creative Teams) allow - not one for one.

LeeAndra 05-07-2019 03:54 PM

I do tend to overthink things but I don't when it comes to scrapping.

My children are VERY different from each other so I try not to compare them to each other or the pages I make for them. They're lucky to get scrapbook pages made about them all! :p I am careful with the way I phrase things in my journaling, especially when it comes to more sensitive topics, but I don't put too much stock into the wordart or overall theme as potentially offending or upsetting my child.

I don't worry about 'even-ness' either as I had 4 years with just the oldest that I figure I will make up on the back end when she's away at college or being a grown-up and the littlest is still at home with me. If I noticed a period of time when ALL I was doing was one or the other, I suppose I would try to even it out but that has not been the case so far.

SeattleSheri 05-07-2019 05:09 PM

In most cases, I don't think about it too much. I personally would never use the term "Your are my favorite" on a page with only one of my boys because I do think it clearly shows favoritism, whereas the other statements you referenced could apply to multiple children IMO. My boys NEVER look at my scrap pages. I wish they did, but they are super disinterested.

I don't count my pages, but I do try to think about spreading the love. My older two hate getting their pictures taken and my little guy is just an easier subject to catch right now, so he's featured in a disproportionate number of pages :) Plus he's changing so much (he'll be two this weekend).

cherrygutz 05-07-2019 05:35 PM

Since the pronoun 'you' can pertain to one or everyone else, I believe it's okay to use it, but then again it depends on how one person would see it especially kids. If you're using a photo with your two kids in it, you can use/make a wordart with 'my favorites' or 'my favorite people' 'my sunshine' or if you still feel like they could misinterpret, simply don't use a wordart/card with those words.

jacinda 05-07-2019 06:07 PM

I always tell my kids that they're my favourite youngest child, or favourite oldest child. They think it's super corny, as they're the ONLY oldest or youngest child, but they love it.

I'd be cautious about using "You are my favourite" on a page, unless it's in context with the theme of the page (e.g. kid vacuuming the house without being asked), but would have no hesitation using "You are my everything", "You are my Sunshine", or "Greatest blessing" etc, because they ARE my everything/sunshine/blessing. I spread the sentiments on both kids layouts, so they have no problem. They just feel loved.

Tree City 05-07-2019 06:16 PM

Even though my page's subject may be my kids, my audience isn't always my kids. I make my pages for me, but I assume that anyone (family, friends, whomever) could end up looking at my albums because I leave them on our coffee table. My WA tends to be based on the activity and not my love for my kid(s). Because my books have a more broad audience, I don't get too sappy so I steer clear of "you are my favorite"-type WA. (Perhaps I'm just not a sappy person? lol) Maybe I'd use a "you are my favorite" WA about my favorite chocolate chip cookie or my favorite Mexican restaurant, though. :)

I have one son and one daughter. "You are my sunshine" doesn't seem bad to say about one of my kids. The WA doesn't say--which means I'm not saying--"you are my sunshine but your brother is the BLACK CLOUD THAT POURS RAIN ON MY HEART." "Sunshine" is a song quote, and it seems to have become an idiom that means "I love you" but not "I love you more than anything, including your sibling(s)." But if you use a "you are my favorite" WA on your page, then perhaps you could add a line in your journaling that also expresses that thought, but in a way that better suits your specific family situation, i.e. "you are both my favorite people" or "you are all my favorite people," in order to make the WA less specific (and less sibling-rivalry-inducing lol).

Oh, another thought: do you tell them "you are my favorite"? Like, is that something you normally say in your daily life? If not, then maybe that's why you're questioning this. If it's something you naturally say, then I don't think you'd worry about using that WA.

craftytam 05-07-2019 07:43 PM

I don't use word art like that unless it says something like "favorite daughter" (because I have only 1 girl and 2 boys).
My boys are 18 & 19. You'd think that "favorite" wouldn't be a problem, but my oldest is going through some issues right now, and thinks that his younger brother is our favorite (so totally not true...we've never favored one over the other).
So, I guess it depends on your kids, but I don't use them.

scrapchyck 05-07-2019 09:27 PM

I have a hard time with that kind of verbiage about a child, so I don't think I ever used that kind of word art/titling when they were growing up. Maybe if you were doing a page about all of your kids then something like "you are my sunshine" or "my world" would make sense. But not just for one kid, unless that's all you have. LOL

LynnZant 05-07-2019 10:46 PM

I would never use "You are my favorite" unless it was something only one child did like "You are my favorite soccer player." One kid played but the other didn't. But never "You are my favorite" period.

~*Kiana*~ 05-07-2019 11:22 PM

I use it all. lol. I don't count pages, but you can be referred to as one or more so I don't see it as a problem. My kids know I love them equally and I don't play favorites at all.

THey do read through them often and have never expressed a concern for "not" being the favorite.

aussiegirl 05-08-2019 09:46 AM

I don't think I ever really thought about it before. I'm going to have to look at past layouts now to even see if I've done this. If I have, it's not intentional. It probably meant at the time more the photo (like this is my favorite photo of you taken on this day), rather than the child itself. I like to think my girls know that I don't have favorites among them. There are times we will joke that "you are my favorite Today or right now" when one of them does something extra special or something her sister wasn't willing to do. But they know it has to do with a specific instance and not favoring one child over another.

Scrap-therapy 05-08-2019 11:30 AM

To be honest, I never pay attention to that so I look at my layout and realize that I didn't use those kind of word art.
Like SeattleSheri, my kids actually don't really care of my layout but I try to have the same number of layout of both. Actually my son don't like I take picture of him and her sister love being taking in picture so I just explain him that I have more pics of her because he doesn't want to be in picture but he knows that I love him with or without layout.
For the word art, I guess I can "cheat" with the boy/girl favorite but to be honest I don't think they will take it litteraly if they see it later. They know I love them the same.
Not easy to make exactly the same for the both so I really hope they will understand it's not a question of favorite.
Hope you find the better solution for you! Maybe just not use this kind of word art?

GraceLee 05-08-2019 12:11 PM

I tell my kids they’re my favorite boy/girl all the time, being I only have one each. I’ve never had this issue growing up (thinking my parents favored one of us) so I don’t think in that way. Maybe I should be more sensitive. But truth be told, my favorite child changes from one day to another. :p as for pages, I don’t count them and my kids love looking at pages about either one of them. I have a first year book for each of them and then it’s all thrown together in one big family book.

GraceLee 05-08-2019 12:12 PM

I tell my kids theyíre my favorite boy/girl all the time, being I only have one each. Iíve never had this issue growing up (thinking my parents favored one of us) so I donít think in that way. Maybe I should be more sensitive. But truth be told, my favorite child changes from one day to another. :p as for pages, I donít count them and my kids love looking at pages about either one of them. I have a first year book for each of them and then itís all thrown together in one big family book.

Neverland Scraps 05-08-2019 01:58 PM

I don't use things like "I love you most/best" or things like that. But "You are my Sunshine", of course! My kids know that I don't have a favorite. They just like the layouts and know wordarts are sometimes out of my control/hands and forgive me for giving the assumption that I love one kid more than the other! :D:thumbup:

Neverland Scraps 05-08-2019 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GraceLee (Post 1062959705)
I tell my kids theyíre my favorite boy/girl all the time, being I only have one each. Iíve never had this issue growing up (thinking my parents favored one of us) so I donít think in that way. Maybe I should be more sensitive. But truth be told, my favorite child changes from one day to another. :p as for pages, I donít count them and my kids love looking at pages about either one of them. I have a first year book for each of them and then itís all thrown together in one big family book.

I do this too
"you are my favorite first born"
"you are my favorite middle child"
and "you are my favorite son/boy"

icindi 05-08-2019 03:31 PM

I never even noticed there was word art like that! So I don't use them. I have 4 boys. I definitely don't count pages. As they get older and go off to college I have fewer pics of the older ones - it just is what it is.
Your thread title cracked me up - help me over think this! LOL

knittingbec 05-09-2019 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AshleyMilfd (Post 1062959538)
Something I have pondered as well as i have one child but 2 step children. Do i avoid them as to not step on the feelings of the step children? I avoid them all just for this reason but i absolutely over think everything on trying to make things equal

Ooo, that's a tricky dynamic too!

Quote:

Originally Posted by KingsQueen82 (Post 1062959543)
I wonder this same thing! I've actually had a conversation with my girls (9 and 11) (b/c I worried, not that they ever expressed any concerns) and showed them a good mix of pages with I've made with each of them and those types of sayings. Once they started to see that it was pretty evenly distributed and that I use those same word arts on both of their pages they were okay.

What a great conversation to have! Yes, it's not like I would only use "you're #1" type word art for one child and never the other, so they would each see that sort of sentiment on pages about themselves as well as about their sibling and the two of them together.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeeAndra (Post 1062959560)

My children are VERY different from each other so I try not to compare them to each other or the pages I make for them. They're lucky to get scrapbook pages made about them all! :p I am careful with the way I phrase things in my journaling, especially when it comes to more sensitive topics, but I don't put too much stock into the wordart or overall theme as potentially offending or upsetting my child.

Ha! Yeah, hopefully whomever my future-adult-child is complaining to about any disparity between the scrapbook pages will say something like, "well, on the bright side, your mom made you scrapbook pages!" ;) ;)

knittingbec 05-09-2019 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeattleSheri (Post 1062959565)
I don't count my pages, but I do try to think about spreading the love. My older two hate getting their pictures taken and my little guy is just an easier subject to catch right now, so he's featured in a disproportionate number of pages :) Plus he's changing so much (he'll be two this weekend).

Yeah, I have a daughter who always says "take a picture of me doing this" and a son who stops doing whatever I wanted to get a picture of whenever I reach for the camera ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by cherrygutz (Post 1062959575)
Since the pronoun 'you' can pertain to one or everyone else, I believe it's okay to use it, but then again it depends on how one person would see it especially kids.

Oh, I like looking at it on a grammatical level! Really only the *page* is about one child, the subject of the album is our whole family.... so "you" can just represent all of us as a unit! ;) ;)
Quote:

Originally Posted by jacinda (Post 1062959583)
I always tell my kids that they're my favourite youngest child, or favourite oldest child. They think it's super corny, as they're the ONLY oldest or youngest child, but they love it.

I'd be cautious about using "You are my favourite" on a page, unless it's in context with the theme of the page (e.g. kid vacuuming the house without being asked), but would have no hesitation using "You are my everything", "You are my Sunshine", or "Greatest blessing" etc, because they ARE my everything/sunshine/blessing. I spread the sentiments on both kids layouts, so they have no problem. They just feel loved.

Haha, I have a "favorite boy" and a "favorite girl"... so as long as we don't have a third child, we're good ;)

I do recall using a "you are my favorite" word strip on a page that just has my son on it... we spent the morning out on a mommy-son date when my daughter was just a couple months old. I remember being hesitant to use it then, too, but wrote in the journaling how nice it was to spend the morning with "my favorite boy" and decided that it wouldn't cause any major rivalry issues ;)

Leablahblah 05-09-2019 01:16 PM

I probably wouldn't use that term "you are my favorite"

AmieN1 05-09-2019 01:36 PM

I think that because I have one of each (girl & boy) that I seriously haven't thought about it one second. A lot of the supplies that have those sayings are either very girl or very boy oriented so I don't feel conflicted using a You are my favorite girly kit for my daughter or vice versa. Just my opinion, but my kids have not even mentioned it in the slightest.

knittingbec 05-09-2019 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tree City (Post 1062959585)

I have one son and one daughter. "You are my sunshine" doesn't seem bad to say about one of my kids. The WA doesn't say--which means I'm not saying--"you are my sunshine but your brother is the BLACK CLOUD THAT POURS RAIN ON MY HEART." "

LOL... yes, I'm pretty sure I don't have any journal cards that say "you are my black cloud" that I could use on the facing page ;) ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by craftytam (Post 1062959599)
My boys are 18 & 19. You'd think that "favorite" wouldn't be a problem, but my oldest is going through some issues right now, and thinks that his younger brother is our favorite (so totally not true...we've never favored one over the other).
So, I guess it depends on your kids, but I don't use them.

So you're telling me I'm going to be thinking about this kind of thing for at least 10-15 more years?! ;)
But really, this is something interesting to consider... maybe right now my kids don't feel like I have a "favorite" (because I don't, of course!) but they could definitely go through a phase somewhere down the line.

Quote:

Originally Posted by scrapchyck (Post 1062959635)
Maybe if you were doing a page about all of your kids then something like "you are my sunshine" or "my world" would make sense. But not just for one kid, unless that's all you have. LOL

This makes sense. I asked my husband (youngest of 7) what he thought and he said "avoid". I (only child) thought more along the lines of "as long as I use them on both kids' pages". But of course, I know without a doubt that I am my parents' #1. Well, until my kids came along and my dad told me I now waver between #3 or 4 (which is strange, as I only have 2 kids...hmmm....)

abm234 05-09-2019 04:02 PM

I struggle with keeping photos even of each kid in Project Life. I have one 15 year old who is very social, takes a million selfies and gives me plenty of material. Her identical twin is very introverted and takes no photos. Its a real challenge to try and keep it "equal".

LeeAndra 05-09-2019 05:18 PM

I came back to say that there are definitely actual favorites in my family. My sister is my dad's favorite & has been since the day she was born, and I am my mom's (by default?). Granted there are some different dynamics there because my sister is his only biological child but still... My mom & I used to have my sister ask our dad to go out to eat when she was little because we knew he'd tell her yes but tell us no if we asked.

Are other families not like that?

Tree City 05-09-2019 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeeAndra (Post 1062959838)
Are other families not like that?

I can't speak to the step-parent relationship, but I can say that many families are, in their own way, not perfect and I can speak to the favoritism. (I'm trying to say this nicely lol.) And I say that based on observing my own family's dynamics. :blink: I won't get into it here, but I will say that I think I understand how you feel. My brother is most definitely #1 in my mom's eyes. I'm probably #5 or #6...and I only have one sibling lol, but I know many people/things come before me.

knittingbec 05-10-2019 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~*Kiana*~ (Post 1062959649)
I use it all. lol. I don't count pages, but you can be referred to as one or more so I don't see it as a problem. My kids know I love them equally and I don't play favorites at all.

THey do read through them often and have never expressed a concern for "not" being the favorite.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neverland Scraps (Post 1062959721)
I don't use things like "I love you most/best" or things like that. But "You are my Sunshine", of course! My kids know that I don't have a favorite. They just like the layouts and know wordarts are sometimes out of my control/hands and forgive me for giving the assumption that I love one kid more than the other! :D:thumbup:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scrap-therapy (Post 1062959693)
For the word art, I guess I can "cheat" with the boy/girl favorite but to be honest I don't think they will take it litteraly if they see it later. They know I love them the same.
Not easy to make exactly the same for the both so I really hope they will understand it's not a question of favorite.



Quote:

Originally Posted by AmieN1 (Post 1062959827)
I think that because I have one of each (girl & boy) that I seriously haven't thought about it one second. A lot of the supplies that have those sayings are either very girl or very boy oriented so I don't feel conflicted using a You are my favorite girly kit for my daughter or vice versa. Just my opinion, but my kids have not even mentioned it in the slightest.

I think I lean this way... I want to use the cards/wa because they're sweet & pretty and just go with the page. I'm inclined to work on the assumption that IF one of my kids even notices that there are pages that say that his sibling is "my sunshine"/"my everything"/"number 1" or whatever, that he'll also notice that there are plenty of pages saying the same things about him...just in a different color scheme.

I was making a page about my son's artwork being in the district "art show" and my husband (youngest of 7, with a weird family dynamic) said I should not say "you are my masterpiece" (I changed it to you are A masterpiece, hahaha) but I recently made a page about my daughter with a "you are my sunshine" card & I didn't think twice. I'm an only child, though, so it made me wonder...

knittingbec 05-10-2019 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aussiegirl (Post 1062959681)
I like to think my girls know that I don't have favorites among them. There are times we will joke that "you are my favorite Today or right now" when one of them does something extra special or something her sister wasn't willing to do. But they know it has to do with a specific instance and not favoring one child over another.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GraceLee (Post 1062959704)
But truth be told, my favorite child changes from one day to another. :p as for pages, I don’t count them and my kids love looking at pages about either one of them. I have a first year book for each of them and then it’s all thrown together in one big family book.

LOL, yes, the favorite child title is up for grabs from one day to the next. "Didn't wake me up at 6:30 a.m. on a Saturday to get you a bowl of cereal that you're totally capable of getting yourself? You're my favorite today"
I saw a meme once that said something like, "my kids each claim the other one is my favorite, but the truth is, I don't really like any of them all that much". So NOT true, but it made me laugh! ;)

And, same here... I don't separate the pages beyond the (still incomplete!) first year books.

JennNtheBoys 05-11-2019 11:05 PM

Besides the "you're my favorite" all the other examples you gave can have more than 1.... for example: "you are my sunshine" ---- all my kids are my sunshine, just because it's on a page with just one, doesn't mean it's not true for all.....know what I mean?


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