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-   -   I'm speechless. (https://www.sweetshoppecommunity.com/forum/showthread.php?t=19186)

ColleenSwerb 11-20-2008 03:07 PM

I'm speechless.
 
So, today was the big meeting with the little boy, my friends, his mother and her husband, and CPS.

I don't know details. My friend came home and sent a mutual friend who was on AIM a message and asked her to pass it along.

He's probably going to live with his mother in December.

I'm speechless, and heart broken.

ETA: Updated on page 4

Jennifer 11-20-2008 03:21 PM

What is wrong with the system???? That's just terrible. :( :( :(

my4boys 11-20-2008 03:23 PM

I seriously want to cry now...this is just irresponsible and so darn wrong....I cannot even believe this is happening!!! :cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing:

ColleenSwerb 11-20-2008 03:23 PM

Yea. My friend said the meeting was a total joke.
She's completely devastated.

kscwgirl 11-20-2008 03:24 PM

I have no words. :cursing:

lizzyfizzy 11-20-2008 03:26 PM

:cursing::cursing::cursing: what IS wrong with people?!?!?!

my heart is broken for that sweet boy and your friend. broken! :(

ColleenSwerb 11-20-2008 03:28 PM

Mine too Fizz, mine too.:crying:

AnnieBananie 11-20-2008 03:30 PM

Yeah, another reason I refuse to work as a cop ever again. F'd up system, that's all I can say. *sigh* Poor kid.

DawnMarch 11-20-2008 03:32 PM

WTF? How in the world can that BE?

LeeAndra 11-20-2008 03:34 PM

I am so sorry, Col. I know how powerless that makes one feel.

Becca Bonneville 11-20-2008 03:36 PM

Oh Col! I am so sorry girl! I can't understand it! It is beyond messed up! I will keep them all in my prayers!

BrattyMeg 11-20-2008 03:37 PM

(((Col))) I feel for your friends and the little boy. Sadly CPS is one messed up system. I had to deal with them in Colorado and it was with a family that didn't even WANT their children yet they still gave DH and I a hard time. It's just a joke of a system. Children get lost in it and it's just terrible. I hope and pray that things work out for the best for this little boy.

newfiemountiewife 11-20-2008 03:39 PM

That is so incredibly sad Col. I was hoping for a better outcome. :(

Chels85 11-20-2008 03:47 PM

how awful!

Tracie Stroud 11-20-2008 03:48 PM

Oh my goodness. That makes me sick.

Brooke W 11-20-2008 04:04 PM

So very, very sad.

scarletsierra 11-20-2008 04:04 PM

:( That's beyond disappointing. I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm still going to be hoping and praying that all works out as it should and that he and his sister can finally find peace and love and stability away from their mother.

junebug 11-20-2008 04:31 PM

i don't understand how they can be so retarded. they better hope nothing happens to that little boy because of their stupidity.

crecia27 11-20-2008 04:49 PM

that is so unbelievably sad!

ColleenSwerb 11-20-2008 06:07 PM

Thanks for the kind words ladies.
I haven't talked to my friend yet. I don't want to intrude while she's so upset. I'll probably stop by there tomorrow after work. We're hoping that they will take this ridiculousness to a tv station or the news, which they were thinking of doing. It's too awful a situation and if it's so easily happening to this little boy, I shudder to think of how many others are suffering as well.

Mandy 11-20-2008 06:15 PM

I was just going to say....
is there ANYONE they can talk to other than CPS?
Newspaper, radio, TV, congressman, senator...ANYONE?
Something has got to give here.

ColleenSwerb 11-20-2008 06:22 PM

My friends husband wanted to contact a news station last week, but my friend wanted to wait and see what happened with this meeting today. She said the meeting was a total joke.

So I'm hoping that in the next few days they'll talk about it and contact someone to try and help. Our big group of friends are all willing to write letters on their behalf and whatnot.

Joan 11-20-2008 06:29 PM

Arrgggggggh, this makes me so angry and incredibly sad! :cursing: :(

Sadly, having gone through this crap for years in our own family, and watching the scenario with our friends and their foster kids right now, it doesn't surprise me. CPS, Family Services, etc... whatever they might be called in our different parts of the world, the common denominator they all seem to share is that they're an effin' joke! I realize it's not an easy job to expect of anyone, and the bureaucratic BS they're entangled in is beyond stupid but, SERIOUSLY, where do they find some of the bleeding heart idiots who work there?!? Ugh, I need to stop before I head off on a tangent that involves a reeeaaally lengthy rant...

ColleenSwerb 11-20-2008 06:38 PM

I hear ya Joan. It was silly for us to get our hopes up. My friends have gotten screwed over since the beginning with this situation. It's been going on for 3.5 years!

::sigh::

I just keeping about how awful a Christmas he's going to have this year. Our group of friends can't even send him anything because his mom most likely will not give it to him, and will sell it for drug money.

MelissaL88 11-20-2008 06:43 PM

I'm so heartbroken for your friends, Col. It's a really sad, twisted world when stuff like this happens. And Joan, I hear you about going off on a rant! :cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing:

~Julie~ 11-20-2008 06:44 PM

IMG what is wrong with people??? I hope they change their decision.

Joan 11-20-2008 06:45 PM

Well, you never want to stop getting your hopes up, of course. And you try to tell yourself things like at least we're giving the kid(s) some good in their life, but it's such a frickin' kick in the gut every time this crap happens.

joelsgirl 11-20-2008 08:19 PM

He's so lucky to have your friends interceding for him, especially since the system seems to be stacked against him. :(

Melissa Bennett 11-20-2008 08:58 PM

Ugh, that is wrong!!! But as a former foster parent I am not at all surprised by that ridiculous decision. Boy the stories I could tell ya!!! :mad:

scrappychic 11-20-2008 11:11 PM

That's horrible! I feel so bad for the little boy and your friend. Total failure in the system.

jocelinsmommy 11-20-2008 11:13 PM

your poor friend.I had the same thing happen to me except it was some other foster parent who grrr the system short of the long is...there were 3 kids..who were adopted by these people who did all these terrible things to them and made them do to each other think terrible...and multiply it...anyways the system said that they should not be put back togehter sibling wise because of these happenings and when u got the children back togehter bad things happened..anyways...they went and placed all of them back together with people who adopted them who went to church wtih these people. The whole situation amkes me ill...

AND lets add another story--i had 2 foster children and it makes me so furious

My other "foster son" I have been trying to adopt since he was 13. He's now 16 almost 17 in may. His father whose a drug addict and has alot of problems won't relinquish custody because the state won't force him to. He's never made a plaec for this child or his brother when 18 was kicked out of the system into NOTHING..homeless. he tried to kill himself until I flew out there and helped him get on his feet and live on his own. He doesn't want to leave the state because he loves his brother--but he wants to live with us. His little brother has now gone through 8 other homes since i've had him...they have now stuck him into a "mental" area because he's had a nervous break-down from all the home swapping....I've wanted to adopt him since he was 13. I even told his father I'd let him see him at ANY TIME he wanted. I'd buy the plane tickets etc. as long as he let me take this child OUT of the system. It makes me ILL.

My prayers are going out to your friend and the little boy it makes my heart hurt so bad to see that once again the SYSTEM isn't working...

Oh I've got another interesting tid bit....my DHs mom got her kids taken away and his sister was placed with her father who...is a registered child...you fill in the rest....once again...makes no sense...

ANYONE A SOCIAL WORKER? if so PM me..i need some advice...:( Had to share my 2 cents since I know all too well how it goes and I completely empathize.

rach3975 11-21-2008 02:05 AM

So sad for that little boy and your friend! I hope they manage to stop it somehow!

Claudi 11-21-2008 02:27 AM

oh, wow, how sad! my thoughts and prayers are with this little boy and your friend

scrapperjade 11-21-2008 05:05 AM

Oh Col, that is awful!!!! I can't believe they sent that little boy back to his mother! What the heck is wrong with the judge???? If it was his grandchild you can be sure he wouldn;t be doing that!

pbumbaca 11-21-2008 09:30 AM

WOW, I'm shocked, I can't believe the people who are put in place to protect children are doing him the worst harm. I'm sorry Col, that just breaks my heart!

ColleenSwerb 11-21-2008 10:07 AM

My friend gave us the low down on the meeting. Nikki is the boys mother, Julius is her dead beat husband. Pittman is the CPS officer who is bitter that my friend went over her head. Ken is my friends husband. I changed the boys name, just cuz, you know how it is.


Hi ALL,

It was a cluster f**k of unimaginable proportions.They were allowed to bring all of the witnesses they wanted.I was pissed and demanded an answer and the childlike Pittman said "well we don't do that...she is the mother she gets to." OK so the scene is set.Nikki and Julius where allowed to go on and on in loud outbursts of incredible lies especially about me.I thought Ken was going to jump the table and punch his weasly ass out.Nikki was totally playing the crying victim. She talked like I have been out to get her because I am "BARREN" HAHAHAAAA!

Every time Ken or I was given the floor,Nikki or Julius cut in and were again allowed to go on and on.Then, I was told I am supposed to clear everything I do reguarding (the little boy) with Nikki!!!!! Ken and I just laughed,looked at the two CPS workers,all inner city ass hats,and said we were done.Oh,let me add that while Julius was ranting on about me he got pretty disgusting so I very loudly shut the room up and said "I am leaving if you do not do something about the way this man is speaking to me.I am sick of being cut off and ingnored." I shut my notes which we were also not allowed to use because they were busy reading all of Nikki's stuff.

The whole thing was a joke and after we closed our proof folder Pittman asked why was I doing that and I told her I clearly saw what was going on in the room and I was done I had nothing more to say.We pretty much shut up and didn't say anything or answer or participate in the mediation.Sorry for the slant! Then they had the nerve to go around the table and ask if we all were feeling like we worked something out.Me,being mouthy and already knowing what would come of the meeting got all syrupy sweet with my voice and said "Oh suuurrre,this was a super neeto meeting mam!"We filled out our survey of satisfaction and I just told the truth.I'll probably go to hell someday for it but I wasn't going to lie,it was a joke.Outside everyone on their side got all nice and chatty like NOTHING had happened.Nikki did try to wisper to me that she heard from somebody that I was seen at our old dope spot but I wispered back that it was funny she heard that since she of all people should stay out of those places and if she was there she was up to no good.I told her ,good try Nikki,You will never be as smart or capable or wealthy enought to pull one over on me.I can be downright scary if I am pushed....SHe didn't get that either! (The little boy) will probably go back to Nikki on the 22 of December,maybe two months after since the social workers thought 6 months was enough.Nikki said she couldn't wait to get all of (the boy's) toys down there especially his motorcycle.I was bitchy and messed with her saying ,Oh I bet,won't that be great fun for everyone in the neighborhood to ride? SHe isn't getting shit from us.

Kat Stokes 11-21-2008 10:45 AM

SERIOUSLY!!! :blink::(

Maybe going to the media and a higher form of government will help. That poor little boy does not need to be anywhere near his mother!!!

scarletsierra 11-21-2008 11:57 AM

Reading the description of the "mediation" makes me even more frustrated about this situation. It's like the primary interest (that of the CHILD) is completely disregarded. :(

ColleenSwerb 11-21-2008 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scarletsierra (Post 302761)
Reading the description of the "mediation" makes me even more frustrated about this situation. :(

Yea, exactly.
My friend has a few ideas on things to do. We're all just waiting for her to make a decision and let us know what she needs help with.

They only want him for the welfare money. It disgusts me. They being his mom and her husband. Actually, just her. The husband could care less. He wants nothing to do with the little boy.


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