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-   -   I'm worrying already. (https://www.sweetshoppecommunity.com/forum/showthread.php?t=56045)

Giseli Freitas 08-07-2011 09:48 PM

I'm worrying already.
 
Well, many of you know that I'll be moving to another country in the end of October and (to complete this insanity) I'm also pregnant.
I'm wondering what will I do being with my child and a newborn in another country, w/o any family / close friends to call and ask for help if I need.
So, any of you has any experience about having a newborn and being w/o anyone close/near to call for help if needed and having another child to care? Please tell me I can do this and share your wisdom with me. I really, really, REALLY am losing my mind trying to figure out how to do this.
xoxo

P.S. Sorry for the vent.

nun69 08-07-2011 10:11 PM

you can totally do it...I had all 4 of my kids with no family around and we made it. I even went back to work at 8 weeks with all of them so had to find daycare and everything! The military tends to move you around so I didn't really have a choice. My son was actually born in Italy and my Italian neighbors were the BEST {and didn't even speak English}. So embrace your neighbors and make friends and you can do it :)

jacinda 08-07-2011 10:23 PM

I agree with Angie. You CAN do it. Get yourself into a positive frame of mind, and it won't seem half as hard as you imagine. You are stronger than you think.

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http://d30opm7hsgivgh.cloudfront.net...5kOUboJ5_c.jpg

http://d30opm7hsgivgh.cloudfront.net...VnQb2jw6_c.jpg

pomi 08-08-2011 02:04 AM

You CAN definitely do it, Giseli! Don't be afraid!

julia 08-08-2011 03:34 AM

Giseli, you can totally do it!! ((hugs))

adrianka 08-08-2011 04:08 AM

I totally get why you're anxious, and can't talk for myself, but most of my colleagues who have babies are in your situation - away from the home country, no relatives to help out.

It's true that Slovakia and Lux are closer than Canada and Brasil, so some of them do have Mums coming over to help out, but lots of them don't have this possibility and they manage. So can you! *hugs*

litabells 08-08-2011 06:04 AM

THIS -
Quote:

Originally Posted by jacinda (Post 858465)

I can see why the prospect is daunting, but I have no doubt that you'll not only survive, but thrive!

Giseli Freitas 08-08-2011 07:58 AM

Oh, girls you are THE BEST! Thank you very much! :) I hope you know how those words are important to me right now.
When we are afraid, facing the unknown, we tend to think we're the only ones who have to go through such thing. I confess I forgot I can't be alone if I keep God in my heart.
I am a lot more confident. A lot more encouraged. Thank you! :)

jessica31876 08-08-2011 08:08 AM

I was pregnant with my middle son and had a 2 year old when I had him to care for. I had family and friends I could call but none of them would help me with her or him really. It was very hard but I managed and you will too!!

4noisyboys 08-08-2011 08:37 AM

I've always lived thousands of miles away from family. It really was hard, and I was so jealous of my friends that had their mom's or sisters nearby, but I didn't and I just had to be strong and make the best of it. I moved again when my kids were 4, 1 1/2, and 5 weeks. That was definitely the hardest move, but I did survive. I'm sure there were times I felt comatose and not sure I'd make it, but we got involved in church, preschool groups for the boys, met other moms, etc...

{{{{hugs}}}} Giseli. I know it's scary, but you'll do great!! We are all here for you too, which is something I didn't have (online friendships) 25 years ago when I was raising my boys!

cardinalskate 08-08-2011 09:14 AM

I'm like Debra, I've always lived thousands of miles away from my family. I only had one kid, so I didn't have it nearly as bad, but it was scary. But we manage to get through it. You will make friends fast, I'm sure and you're a strong woman! You can do it!! ((hugs))

Kara 08-08-2011 09:20 AM

My first child was born in Ecuador, a few months after we moved there. It was hard being away from family, but thankfully we'd developed a strong community of friends through our work/church. Hopefully you can do the same!

HeatherKS 08-08-2011 10:05 AM

No advice, just lots and lots of hugs for you. You can do it! *hugs*

Giseli Freitas 08-08-2011 05:05 PM

Thank you very much again, ladies! :)
Now you shared your experiences and feelings with me I'm feeling better. I'm not feeling like I'm the only one in the world to experience something like this anymore.
I was feeling so overwhelmed that last night, I even thought about to let DH go alone and stay here w/ my mother until the baby was born. SO selfish! :glare: and CRAZAY!!!! Hahaha
I blame the pregnancy hormones doing its work. ;)
xoxo

jacinda 08-08-2011 11:44 PM

Giseli, is there any way your mother could come stay with you for the first month after the baby is born?

kristijoy 08-09-2011 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adrianka (Post 858504)
I totally get why you're anxious, and can't talk for myself, but most of my colleagues who have babies are in your situation - away from the home country, no relatives to help out.

It's true that Slovakia and Lux are closer than Canada and Brasil, so some of them do have Mums coming over to help out, but lots of them don't have this possibility and they manage. So can you! *hugs*

I'm not sure where you'll be, but definately find a mom's group of some sort if at all possible! I was part of a big mom's exercise group. I could've gone every morning to meet up with them if I wanted to. Saved me lots of time to just even have someone who understood!

sprauncey1 08-09-2011 08:56 AM

Thank you for this thread! I totally get you even though I am not having a baby. I won't hijack your thread but I wanted to say "I'm so there!" and I love the words of wisdom you have received. I second the request for family to come visit the first month (only 1 though not to overwhelm you). We were several thousand miles away from family when my first was born and both my MIL and Mom came out at different times early on.

Giseli Freitas 08-09-2011 12:22 PM

Well, we're trying to figure a way my mom can come to help me (at least) for the 1st month. Our biggest issue is my mom doesn't have a passport and it's taking almost an entire year to get one (yep, that's ridiculous. I just don't get why is so difficult to make a passport. :glare:).
We took some information and it seems they have a priority for urgencies. We're seeing if our situation is eligible to get a passport for her faster than this. I guess not, but... we don't know yet.
Another issue is my dad. My dad has a problem in his left leg and he can't stay up for a very long time - my mom is the one taking care of him. Uncle Wilson (his brother) helps a lot too, but IDK if he can help my dad, alone, for an entire month.
That's why (too) I'm worrying so much. If at least I could be sure I'll have my mom...


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