you can quote me.
 

wow. i'm kinda thread happy.

i saw this quote so i thought i would share:
"cancel my subscription, I'M TIRED OF YOUR ISSUES!"

funny, right?!

post your favorite funny quote here.

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d1...miley_wink.gif<----here is a proper wink smiley (although he/she could use an eyebrow wax).

A pat on the back is just inches away from a kick in the butt

All stressed out with no one to strangle

Never eat more than you can lift

Life is like a roll of toilet paper - the closer you get to the end the faster it goes!

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

You can look ay my dust, just don't write in it

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

Dull women have immaculate homes

When angry count to four. / When very angry, swear. - Mark Twain

I ate my will power

What if the hokey pokey really is all it's about?

Skinny cooks can't be trusted

I don't repeat gossip so listen carefully

AND MY FAVORITE

Everyone brings joy to this house. / Some when they enter. / Some when they leave.

lol, thanks for the laughs

i can't think of any @ the moment.

You can want in one hand and poop in the other and see which gets full first!

It always makes me laugh :)

The only thing domestic about me is that I live in a house.

I cant think of funny quotes. I always like reading them tho.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway

When life hands your lemons throw them back and demand cookies...

These are hilarious!

Too funny - I just got this in my inbox today!

1 . My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2 . I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing
10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-theoom-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18 Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22..Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24 ..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26..Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

My favorite:
29.. I smile because I don't know what the he#$ is going on.

LOL!!!!! =) it's true!

my new motto!!!