I am not sure of any books, but by your description of yourself you sound an awful lot like me
The trick is to not worry about what others think so much (for me that's hard because I'm a people pleaser), but I have found this past year, that I have become a lot 'happier' and that 'sunshiney' part shows more around others because I only worry about me (and my hubby and kids), and the rest can take it or leave it. Sounds harsh, but in reality it has made a lot of outside relationships better. It's all about finding your groove and what makes you happiest.