Gosh, so difficult! I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this
I think I would put them in, but maybe just hold onto the book myself for a while and hope things calm down. You don't want the kids later to find out they weren't in there and have majorly hurt feelings. I saw your comment about making individual family books too, and that would work as well, but if you really want the big book all together, I'd put them in. That is just a totally stinky situation