Could you do a "power nap" with her? I do this with my 3.5 year old. He is like your DD, he needs a nap everyday but If I give it to him (he will easily sleep 3 hours) he is up all night but if he doesn't get one he is a CRAB by 6:30PM. I give him lunch and a glass of apple juice/orange juice then I put him down for a nap and set the time for 25 minutes. When the time goes off I wake him up and give him a few minutes to "adjust" and then we play about 15 minutes of silly games and sing silly songs.
The juice helps "rev" him up but it doesn't kick in for about 20 to 30 minutes so I can sneak a nap in and then by the time he wakes up the juice helps him not feel groggy from his nap and the games and songs help too. We have been doing this since our newest addition in Jan (they share a room and needed him to be able to sleep at night and no be playing and wake the baby up) and it's been working great for us!!!
Also wanted to add that he can easily make it to 8PM bed time with this routine and not a crab in site!!!!
