[scrapperjade]

I haven't read all of the responses, but Nikki, you NEED to put your foot down about this! NOBODY but you and DH should be disciplining your kids (of course there are times that if you are not around and the kids do something really bad, I can understand a word of caution or mild discipline from an adult who is around - but who has PERMISSION to do so, but this doesn't sound like this is the case for you right now).

And you need to talk to DH. I know you don't want to burden him, but how would he feel if one day you just blew up, freaked out, and kicked his brother out, and all the while he thought that everything was fine? He's going to be hurt, confused, upset, most likely feeling all these things because he didn't know that there were problems you were covering up. Talk to him. It will make you feel better, and he will be able to help you deal with BIL.