Well..first of all I don't think 20 mos is too old for a paci at all..DS took his til he was 2 1/2..and he was SUPER attached to his. But I'm a tough love kind of mommy I guess b/c we just went cold turkey with it..honestly I think it's the best way b/c if you give it to them sometimes it just makes them want it kwim? DS had 2 nights where he cried when I put him to bed and for naps and then he was fine. My best friend is going through this with her nearly 3 year old and I've told just take it away..but she gives in because she doesn't want her to cry and so she still has hers and the cycle continues lol.
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