Lauren.. I want to share something with you I learned from Dr. Phil (of all people) about grief. His message was poignant to me because I have lived with a lot of pain in my heart since 1/12/04 when my identical twin boys were born/died @ 27 weeks due to TTTS. Okay.. so I was watching 'ole Dr. Phil a week or so ago about parents dealing with grief, etc. Something that really stuck with me was when he said "You must remember the one you lost with joy and not pain. The person who has gone would hate to think that every time we thought of them that it brought us pain. Our loved ones would not want to see us in pain. We must remember the special memories and not just the time of their passing"
So long story short *it's a little different for me because I didn't have but a few moments*.. remember your mom with joy in your heart and try not to allow the sadness to over shadow your special memories. Everyone handles grief differently, but the whole "remember with joy instead of pain" really has stuck with me and has allowed me to release some of my own pain and grief.
Sorry to ramble, I don't even know if I made any sense..
I wish you peace today, on your Mom's birthday. *hugs*
*ps* you could still buy flowers, put them in your favorite vase and know who and why you bought them. In a sense, celebrating.. go out to eat in honor of her, have a yummy dessert for her birthday.. you and the kids could make cupcakes, I dunno.. just some thoughts.
|