Being the mom of a special needs child, I say please ask the mom so you can help your daughter understand better.
This is a totally different situation than what you are going through right now...but I always hated when my DS was younger (he's 17 now) and moms would tell their child to be quiet when they were asking about Aaron and why he had crutches (or a walker when he was younger). I was never offended when people asked and was more offended when I could hear them talking about my child but wouldn't ask.
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