You are not a downer! We want to know what is going on so we can support you and encourage you through this. No one ever wants to hear the "C" word. I have been there with both of my parents and happy to report they both are in remission.
Two things helped me get through my emotional times.....1)Praying to God and 2) keeping a journal. I loved writing in my journal because I could write things down that I didn't feel like I could say out loud.
I will keep the both of you in my prayers!!!! Sending lots of virtual hugs your way!