I would get an attorney involved. It sounds like it is just a traffic violation. He will probably go in and plea no contest and pay his fine. That way if there is ever a civil suit from your family, he has not admitted guilt. That is just what I would assume he was advised to do by his attorney (either private or public defender). I am not an attorney but my husband is a police officer and he said this is what he has seen more often than not. He said it takes A LOT to be charged with vehicular homicide or negligence.
Traffic court is public in our state. I don't know if you would be able to say anything on behalf of your side though.
((HUGS)) I just hate that you are dealing with this. My heart breaks for your family.
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