Hi Jessica, just wanted to say that (since I'm new here) a few nights ago I read much of your blog trying to find out what this "accident" was you've mentioned on here a few times. Well
I was surprised to discover what happened to your son and husband! I sat up in bed reading n the dark on my smart phone as my husband snored soundly beside me and my kids both safely, and much alive (which I am now more thankful for than ever), slept. And I sobbed. Because I honestly can feel your pain, not exactly (of course) but in sympathy and in my own personal fears... and the fact that it is a mother's worst nightmare. It's what I pray will never happen to my family every night.
So, I want you to know I know your story and I can understand how the pain of it can certainly turn into anger. Something so ugly and venomous that it destroys the life you still have, the lives your other son and daughter still have, and your marriage. I really hope that despite how everything turns out with this irresponsible man who took the life of your son, you can find peace and healing for your broken heart.
I also echo what Colleen just said. I think having a special Christmas is embracing the fact that you are all together, that you love and support one another in grieving and don't expect anything "fake" of each other just for the sake of calling it special. I hope everything with this Traffic violation goes smoothly and that, at the very least, this man will not legally be able to drive his weapon anymore.