Honestly, I think maybe you're being a bit childish about it. If he were charging you for it, it'd be one thing, but he's not. Maybe he's not being as generous as you would like, but I don't think it's unreasonable to expect you to come and pick them up even if that requires you renting a truck.
As far as the gushing email, personally I would just suck it up and send off an email that's like "thank you thank you thank you, this will help us out SO much" and be done with it. Is it a bit annoying to have them ask you to do that? Yes. Would it annoy me? Probably, haha. But at the end of the day, you're the one that needs the washer and dryer and if a little sucking up will stroke his ego and make it happen, then just do it. As someone who's watched an estate fight get ugly, it's SO not worth the damage it can do to the family relationships.
Oh and I'll say, that while the washer & dryer might not add a ton of value price-wise to the home, I can tell you that a huge reason we were able to sell our townhouse in CO with SO many options available on the market was partly due to us including the appliances with the sale. And no, our washer & dryer weren't fancy either. So I do think he's giving up a little value in giving those appliances to you for free.
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