I have a family member like your dad. It's not enough to say "thank you so much, I really appreciate this so much" & mean it. You have to say it the way they want to hear it (gushing praise for the generosity of the giver & your unspoken unworthiness of it & at a later date you should buy them dinner as further thanks) or you don't really appreciate their gesture, everything they do for you and are an ungrateful so & so. This includes birthday & Xmas presents.
Unless I specifically ask them for something, I no longer bother meeting those conditions. I figure they aren't actually giving out of generosity but out of a need for an ego stroking & I am not required to say any more than a genuine "thanks, I love it"
However, if I ask, then I do meet their conditions. It's the price of asking, annoying as it can be. If it will keep the peace I do it. I know how frustrating it can be dealing with people who expect you to bow to their whims & make no attempt to understand where you are coming from. But I tend to just suck it up, deal with it in the moment, let it go & minimize the chances of my finding myself in the same situation. They are who they are & that is never going to change at this point.
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