As a grandparent, I understand what you are saying but not every person wants to hear how to spend their money. As a person you hate having someone else tell you what you can do or what you can buy.
My suggestion is have your children send Grandma/Grandpa lists of things they want or experiences they would like to have with them. Maybe this will help the grandparents see that it is not just about the gifts but doing things with them.
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