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Old 05-28-2019, 11:26 AM
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AmieN1 AmieN1 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Spokane, WA
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Tough for sure! My husband is an only child, therefore our kids are their only grandkids. The funny thing about my inlaws is that my mother in law is very frugal & always buys the kids great gifts- things she knows they will use, doesn't go over the top or excessive at all. My FATHER in law is the crazy spoiler. When my daughter was little (like 4 or so) she used to say "I'll just ask Papa, he never tells me no!" He has gotten better over the years, mostly I think because his wife reigns him in... but it's a tough situation all around. Thankfully, they are more than financially stable, so I don't worry about that aspect of it.

When my daughter was born- we made a rule with ALL family (I had grandparents still alive then- so she had like 12 greats/grandparents alive!) We had to pre-approve all gifts. There were more than a handful of times where we told gift givers their gift was too extravagant or not age appropriate. I don't think feelings were too hurt, but it's such a tough situation to navigate. Even still- often we don't buy the kids much for their birthdays or christmas, as they get enough from everyone else & it's such a waste of money. Usually we will get them something to do- movie gift certs or vacation or something we would do anyways but they tend to appreciate more when it's given as a gift!

My advice is to lead by example- like others have mentioned- Say you are doing experiences rather than gifts, volunteering/donating at charities, Marie Kondo-ing your play room, etc.
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