Adulting is hard. Sure we all make mistakes, things we'd rather not discuss or admit. But through those mistakes, we grow and change in to a more beautiful person.
I'm glad you got to get out and do something for yourself, that's important, even if it left you an emotional mess. Sometimes we just need to cry it out and press forward. That was so sweet and thoughtful of your son to send you the book. Even though mistakes were made, you've created such a wonderful human being (a couple of them actually!
) Don't be so hard on yourself. We are our worst critic.