[SeattleSheri]

Yeah, that's tough. I agree with the other ladies. No matter what you say, the behavior will likely not change and it will just cause drama. The way we approach stuff in our household is that we each deal with our respective parents (i.e. I deal with all of the annoying things my mom does and my husband addresses any concerns with his parents). The IL relationship is always kind of delicate.

The only thing you can do is continue to politely suggest some specific reasonable gifts that the kids really want and hope they take the hint (it sounds like you've already done that), especially if your husband isn't willing to have a conversation with them. At this point a few hundred dollars here and there isn't going to material impact their ability to retire if they don't already have substantial savings.

I actually dread Christmas and birthdays because our kids get gifted so much crap from our parents. We don't have space for it and most of it gets used for a nano-second before they lose interest.