I so hear you on this! Every Christmas and birthday, My dad and step-mom (it's really mostly her--she is way into giving gifts but that's really the only way she interacts) bring garbage bags stuffed with presents for my son, my niece, my nephew, and the adults too. It was so overwhelming the first few times they did this, but we've learned to just open everything, look happy, and say thank you. For a while, I worried about reciprocating, but now I figure that if this is something she needs to do, fine. I am not a "gifts person," being much more interested in quality time, which my step-mom in particular has ZERO interest in. She sits there, quietly, watching us open our gifts, and she hardly says a word to anyone. It's uncomfortable.
They leave us with mounds of paper and garbage, and loads of gifts, including candy that neither my son nor nephew can eat. They cannot eat food with artificial coloring, and I don't think she believes us on this, because she ALWAYS gives them candy with coloring! My 12-year-old son asked me just last week WHY she keeps doing this. What do I say? That she doesn't care? (She and my dad also think my gluten intolerance is "all in your head." That has taken me a while to get over.)
So, I really have no words of wisdom, except to talk to your kids about it in age-appropriate ways. We explain to our son how this is the way his grandparents show love, and he knows he only gets to keep the gifts we approve of!
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