I do agree with Sara about it being a boundaries issue at times. Usually people who don’t respect boundaries don’t have them in their own life, and that can make it difficult to explain the WHY’S when it comes to your position on exorbitant spending and gifting to your kids.In my opinion, if it’s a boundary issue it will be very difficult to change her. However, if she is just addicted to shopping or misguided in showing her love in the wrong ways, it might take some gentle redirection... it could be fixable using the “I’m donating this” or one toy in one out policy... or by giving her a list of wants and needs.
I just wanted to add that I feel for you. Some of the hardest relationships in my life are my in-laws. They have issues with our boundaries and it is a constant battle with them, handling their hurt feelings and their complete lack of understanding or respect. We actually have not seen them for almost 2 years as a result of conflicts and it weighs on our hearts heavily.
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