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Old 04-04-2022, 01:13 PM
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LeeAndra LeeAndra is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: northern Indiana
Posts: 6,063
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Being insecure/judging others and feeling judged (even if they are not) by others is probably one of my largest stumbling blocks.

It's not lost on me (ha!) that I weigh the most I've ever weighed in my life at the same time that I own my own home, have a good steady job, have 2 good kids, and am in a loving healthy relationship so it's not as if not being thin/society's idea of "beautiful" has kept me from achieving my goals and experiencing peace/love/happiness but my heart needs extra practice believing that.

I'm currently dread-planning and anxiety-spiraling about my son's birthday party next month. He wants to have it here at the house which pokes at my insecurities about being a bad housekeeper (my house is never immaculate like my mom's always has been) + having to entertain a herd of children I've never met before (I don't like herds of children) + having to make small talk with these just-met children's just-met parents (introversion + being insecure about my looks/weight). Ugh.

My BF, who will be there, is also not super great at small talk or children-herds but, unlike me, doesn't care what anyone except a select few think about him so I know his calmness + love for/acceptance of me will help center me.
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