Quote:
Originally Posted by JennNtheBoys
I feel this post on so many levels. I'm also not very social in person.... I love my own time and space, i'm typically the quiet one the odd time I am in a social situation and I have been told (and over heard) many times that that makes me "unapproachable" or that it gives off a "bitchy vibe".... I have just always been more of a listener than a talker, and I like to observe behaviours buuuuttt.... I guess because I don't enjoy flapping my jaws i'm a B****. lol Anyone who ACTUALLY knows me, knows that's not the case at all and that i'm the first person who would give the shirt off my back if it meant helping someone else, or that I am the best shoulder to cry on because I pass no judgement, but I have a hard time meeting new people and having them see that side because they never stick around long enough to get past the quiet stage. and this goes for family as well! My siblings, inlaws, even my Mom have no idea who I am, they much prefer talking about me than talking to me (which again, as an observer, I hear way more than they think I do). 
I have 1 friend that I would actually spend time with, but we don't get to very often, and even when we are together we still send funny texts and laugh our butts off.... heck when we were roommates we used to text from across the apartment and could hear each other laughing in the other rooms LOL
I thrive in the online world.... one of my biggest fears is being put on the spot, so online I can have that minute to think and not feel "stupid" because I don't have a quick response. It's my happy space (not so much lately with everyone fighting over everything). Over the years I have curated my friends lists... made it less about adding everyone I had ever met and just keeping the people that I enjoy having around.... this has meant unfriending a lot of people from school days, and even some family members.... I will admit, I do have a handful of people left in my lists that I WISH I had better friendships with, or people that I fell out of touch with that I wish I had the guts to just strike up a convo and talk with more, but I am pretty much a chicken s*** when it comes to making the first move (and that happens a lot here in the forums too... I'll read responses and laugh to myself, or relate to it entirely, but I sometimes just can't put together what I feel are the right words to basically say 'lol' or 'me too'..... I really want to work on that.... I love it here, and would love to have this feel like more of a chatty place for me than I have let it been so far).  |
We really do have a lot in common because I've been told that I am intimidating. I figure my resting b!tch face must be fierce. And, oh boy, does my family like to talk about me! Nothing I do is ever good enough, so I did one thing that made a huge difference and just stopped talking to most of them. The ones I am close to, I keep in touch. The ones that were always mean to me, I could care less about. I moved away from where I grew up in 2005 and have not been back to see any of them since then. When I do go back, which has been like three times, I go to the cemetery to see my parents and then visit with the one aunt and cousin I adore. My son goes back with my sister more often and the aunts and uncles who were always mean to me, just adore him. They think he is the best things since sliced bread, which is surprising since his is my kid, but whatever.
Being more chatty in the forum is something that I wanted to do, so I made myself do it. In the beginning it was hard and I felt stupid if no one responded, but it has gotten easier over time. I still feel stupid sometimes, but that is me. LOL I hope you will chat more, because I am sure everyone would love to get to know you better and hear what you have to say. I know I would.