Quote:
Originally Posted by nun69
She does have diagnosed dementia (and has had it for at least 3-4 years progressively getting worse) and I am afraid she is pretty bad off. Don't think she has seen a doctor in over 2 years and pretty sure she is not taking her medication on a regular basis  Luckily I am retired so have the ability to take care of her for as long as I can and she luckily has the funds to have a care taker come in if we need to. I'm afraid if we put her in any type of nursing home/assisted living she will completely loose her will to live (especially if she can't take her kitty ;( )...so I am going to do a much for her as I physically can. Also having a background of 26+ years in the medical field taking care of patients, I have the experience to tend to her more so than most (at least I think I do). So here's to hoping for q smooth transition in 11 days  |
Dementia is so tricky. But with your background I am sure you know more about it and are better equipped to deal with it then I was. I had my mom with me as long as possible too, 15 years, but in the end, I couldn't take care of her and work and I have to work.
My brother is retired and could have done it, his wife is a home healthcare nurse, but he didn't want to even though she nursed him through a long bout with cancer. He said it was too much work. That is still a touchy subject between the two of us.
Trust me, I am not a fan of nursing homes, but sometimes you have to make hard choices. Between me, my sister and my son, she had a visitor each and every day and we made sure she was being cared for. At that point, it was all we could do.
But you are right, once they give up it goes quickly. My mom and dad both went fast in the end. Dad, it was a conscious decision, he asked us to let him go, but I am not so sure with mom. She stopped eating and refused all medication, except the pain meds, and was gone within two weeks.
As her guardian, I did not ask that they force anything on her to try to keep her alive because I knew she did not want that. It was hard to be the one to say let her go. There are days I wonder and worry if I did the right thing, and it will be three years on Friday.
After her passing, the first thing I did once my life settled down was do my Estate planning so no one has to make hard choices for me. It's all in writing, because just knowing my mom's wishes was not enough, I had to be able to legally act in her benefit, which is why I was her guardian. You don't even want to know what it cost me in legal fees to become her guardian.
I had tried to talk her into estate/funeral planning previously, but she would not do it because she didn't want anyone running her life. The only way to run your own life at the end it to have a plan in place, otherwise you have no say at all. Estate plan, people. Not only for your benefit but to also ease the burden on those you love. (another soapbox item for me. lol)
Everything about this is just another reason why getting old is not for whimps.
