Val... I would be in a froth, too.
It makes me wonder, maybe there is someone better out there? Someone who would call their patients or give them a heads up? Or maybe this is an opportunity for growth. Weaning, kind of? Maybe a chance for good change. You could join a support group, find another source of security that you have more control over? I don't know. All I know is don't give in or give up. You didn't lose yourself, just your doctor. <3