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#1
02-09-2009, 04:20 PM
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Gift Registration Question
So when DH and I got married, we registered at Sears...that was 8 years ago and not everyone has a Sears near them or whatever so we didn't get much off there.
But I think it's just common courtesy to actually get the couple something they WANT, right? I asked my MIL if she had a gift for the couple getting married next weekend (same wedding that Natty is the flowergirl) and she was like "well I thought I'd just give them the handvac that I got on sale and then something else"...she says this without even finding out what they've registered for. I am talking to my SIL and she's like "oh I just thought I'd get them some dishes - everyone can use dishes". OK, yeah everyone can use dishes...but don't you WANT to know what they like?! Honestly, that people in this day and age are SO lazy to not even look at the registry just irritates me. It's not THAT hard to go to the store(s) that they've registered at and get them something that they want or need, instead of a bunch of useless crap that they DON'T want/need and have no idea where to return it. ARGH! Tell me...is it the same everywhere? Or is it just really prominent here with the people that I know?! 
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#3
02-09-2009, 04:24 PM
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That happens a lot around here, too. It drives me crazy because I feel like its just rude. I got a huge set of the UGLIEST dish towels for my wedding and I was so annoyed. Yes, it was nice of them to get me a gift, but did they really think I was going to decorate my kitchen in green plaid and bumblebees?
If you don't get them something from their registry or a gift card, at least have the courtesy to include a gift receipt just in case what you picked "isn't their taste". I'm with ya, Bree. Its obnoxious.
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creating for * 9th & Bloom * Jennifer Barrette Designs * Polly & Rufus Designs *
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#4
02-09-2009, 04:26 PM
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Oh, AND...my DH doesn't get it either. Though I don't expect men to understand, lol. We actually went and printed out the registry and were trying to find the things on it...finally he just grabbed something and was like "good enough" but didn't look at the UPC codes. We get up to the till, they ring it in and say it's not the same one that they registered for. He's like "whatever, they'll like it anyway". Then he goes on about how he couldn't find the right one (he didn't even TRY finding it, he just saw the brand name and grabbed). Finally as he's paying he's like "oh, I think that's the wrong one" because it was about $20 cheaper than the one we were going to buy. DUH...that's what they were SAYING! I was so frustrated at that point I was like, whatever. But we walked back to where he grabbed it to see if they had the one we were going to buy them and sure enough they do, RIGHT NEXT TO the one he took. I just wanted out of the store...I got a gift receipt anyway so they can return it, but if I was on my way back to the city before the wedding I would return it myself and get the proper one. Ugh, men!
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#5
02-09-2009, 04:27 PM
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I'm going to do our registry soon (really should've done it already, but was dreading doing it with Jordan and he decided to just let me do it by myself, lol). I'm DREADING what we might get.
In this day an age, with online registries, there's really no excuse for not getting the couple something off their list.
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~Colleen~
Re-attempting a creative life after far too long!
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#6
02-09-2009, 04:27 PM
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Ugh! I know what you mean! I don't want to sound ungrateful, because I am very thankful for all the great things I got at my baby shower, but I only got like 5 things off my registry and dh and I had to go spend like $500 on all the things left that we needed and didn't get. Since that happened to me, now whenever someone registers I make sure I buy them something off of it! lol
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Fairon
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#7
02-09-2009, 04:28 PM
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Honestly I just love the idea of a registry...then the couple doesn't get umpteen million of one thing ... it takes it off the list once someone has bought it for them. I just don't get why other people don't get it, lol.
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#8
02-09-2009, 04:30 PM
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Bree, Most of my family, not all of them, would get whatever they wanted to give as a gift....Not saying that is right, since I agree with you--why not get them what they want and will use....
 Guess the "happy couple" can plan to hold their first Garage Sale after they get married when they end up with tons of dishes, etc. that they don't need or want....LOL
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 Beautiful siggy by Jacinda using KCB's Wide Open Spaces
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#9
02-09-2009, 04:31 PM
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Quote:
__________________
~Colleen~
Re-attempting a creative life after far too long!
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#10
02-09-2009, 04:33 PM
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Not only do registrys prevent duplicate gifts, but it also accounts for each couple's tastes! I swear I got no fewer that FOUR tacky, obnoxious, downright UGLY crystal frames for my wedding. WTH? I couldn't return them, either because no one gave me gift receipts. I literally GAVE them away at a garage sale. What a waste of money. Even if you DID get it for cheap, its still a waste of money if the couple never uses it!
Oh, and as for baby registrys, I either buy something off the registry, a gift card, or a package of diapers. Can't go wrong there! lol
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creating for * 9th & Bloom * Jennifer Barrette Designs * Polly & Rufus Designs *
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#11
02-09-2009, 04:39 PM
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LOL. I love to shop off the registries. I feel like I am getting something that the couple actually wants. Also, I remember when I was getting married the excitement of checking the registry. Like...'oooh, we have 4 sets of silverware now! We can have people over for dinner'!! One thing for you ladies who are getting married or having babies soon...make sure that your peeps spread the word about where you are registered and that kind of info.
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~ Robin  Siggie made by Jacinda
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#12
02-09-2009, 04:39 PM
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LOL, you should have seen my wedding, Jenny. I got at least 12 sets of wine glasses. Neither DH or I even LIKE wine, lol. I've been giving them away...I think I might have like 1 set left. Tons of duplicates and lots of stuff I didn't get that I really could have used.
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#13
02-09-2009, 04:47 PM
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So here's the thing about registries...everyone registers for boring or expensive stuff. I'm sorry, but I don't want to give someone 2 potholders and a dishtowel cause that's the only thing I can afford off their registry.
Having said that, it's a pain in the rear to have to return all the crap you don't want or have duplicates of. And stores are way more restrictive with their returns than when we got married. So all you registering people: put fun stuff on your registry too. I love it when people put board games or things like that on their registry. Also, please be respectful of other people's budgets. I know you want the nicest stuff you can get, but not everyone can afford $100 wedding gifts. So make sure you have a wide range of prices on there. And DON'T register for 5 different shower curtains, even if you like them all (unless you have many showers to curtain)!! Pick one and stick with it. So to sum it up: sane people want to get you what you want. But they want it to be fun and in their price range.
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Chelsey -------  
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#14
02-09-2009, 04:52 PM
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Well actually proper etiquette says it rude to include gift registries in wedding invitations...that is what the bridal shower is for. But when I do receive invites for bridal showers and baby showers I have the same mindset as Chelsey.....of course I want to get you something useful but it's not my responsibility to buy you all the "big" things you need to start your life or your baby's life.
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Elizabeth  Blogging for Kristin Cronin-Barrow
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#15
02-09-2009, 04:55 PM
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Well one of the first rules of setting up a registry, is making sure that a WIDE range of price points are included. AND you're supposed to keep track of what you're getting so you can add to price ranges that get bought up.
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~Colleen~
Re-attempting a creative life after far too long!
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#16
02-09-2009, 04:56 PM
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I *usually* shop from the gift registries, because it makes it super easy for me, lol! It saves me from the stress of what to get the couple! But a lot of times, like Chels said, the gifts are WAY out of my price range and I just can't afford the stuff. Like an espresso machine or something. I can't even afford that for myself, let alone a gift. The last wedding I was at, the couple had purchased a lot of things through a bridal show. One of those $3000 packages that included your whole kitchen and also included a 4 day cruise. All they asked for was gift certificates to help pay off the debt of this package. I was going to, but since I've been good friends with the bride since we were 13 (and she married my cousin), I bought her something I knew she'd love. I got them a fun bar set, and she was super excited, lol!!
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 Huge fan of:   
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#17
02-09-2009, 04:56 PM
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Well the registry we were looking at had stuff that started at like $20. I think that's pretty reasonable. The one store we went to, either they only registered for a few things and those things were bought for them, OR they didn't really think when they registered, lol...when we got to the one store, there were 4 things on the list. The cheapest one was $160, the most expensive was $600. So we had to go to the other store that we knew they were registered at.
I don't find it tacky to include a card or note saying where the couple is registered. It's not REQUIRED to bring a gift, but really...most people do bring a gift and should want to give them something that they would like or use. ETA: However, I *do* think it's tacky to do what my brother wanted to do...and say "no gifts please, just cash" hahaa.
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#18
02-09-2009, 05:00 PM
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Elizabeth Blogging for Kristin Cronin-Barrow
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#19
02-09-2009, 05:01 PM
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Convention says that telling people where you're registered is rude and is like demanding a gift (which of course is a no-no), but I really don't think that this applies any more. Frankly, I would much prefer an insert (please not one of the canned ones from the store; something nice to match the invitations) informing me of the registries. Or, perhaps more tastefully, include the address of your wedding website (increasingly popular) and have that information on the website.
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Chelsey -------
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#20
02-09-2009, 05:03 PM
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I don't go to a lot of weddings, only ones coming up in the next two years that I am aware of are my brother & his fiance, and my SIL and her fiance. I asked me brother to tell me what they need, with what he knows I can afford. And same for SIL.
I have to say, when we got married, almost everyone got something off our registry, but it helped that my Mom works for that chain of stores, so word got spread through the family, and all my friends know that she works there too, so it would be totally obvious we registered there.
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Sonja ~ tuneskids
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#21
02-09-2009, 05:05 PM
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I had maybe 10 people at my shower, but over 100 at my wedding. So very few people double gifted me, if any.
That being said, we did do a registry, and I did make the mistake of giving Jeff the scanner at Target and not paying all that much attention until I got home and looked at the list and learned we had registered for xbox games and tools.  Even with the registry though, we got 4 blenders.
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Sara Creating for absolutely no one because I don't think I know how to scrap anymore.
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#22
02-09-2009, 05:06 PM
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We didn't do china, or any of the fancy stuff. It killed me to register for a $60 shower curtain. We did get that curtain though, and we used it until this year, and we got married in 2000. I loved that shower curtain.
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Sara Creating for absolutely no one because I don't think I know how to scrap anymore.
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#23
02-09-2009, 05:09 PM
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My own wedding, I invited people from 3 places that were not even near where I lived when I got married. Same with DH...we both moved around a bit before we settled here. None of those people were invited to the bridal showers - and the ONE town where they threw me a shower, only a handful of the people invited came to the wedding (it was 8 hours away). That was 8 years ago and it was definitely considered tacky to include registry info in the invites then...but it would have made life SO much easier in the long run, lol.
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#24
02-09-2009, 05:09 PM
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Chelsey -------
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#25
02-09-2009, 05:11 PM
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OMG, funny registry story girls!
So several years ago my bff from highschool, Jeremy, got engaged to this girl that HATED me (ie, wasn't invited to their wedding, she didn't let him come to mine, etc). I had nothing bad to say about the girl (I hadn't even met her when they got married), but I had to giggle when I went to Target to buy something for their wedding (that my mom had to take, of course, since I wasn't invited)... She registered for the CREEPIEST STUFF!! Tampons, toothpaste, toilet paper, deoderant, makeup, socks, computer paper... ohmyword, it was hilarious! I was really tempted to buy her some tampons or something for her wedding, but I gave them a gift card instead. seriously, how creepy is that!?!?!?
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creating for * 9th & Bloom * Jennifer Barrette Designs * Polly & Rufus Designs *
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#26
02-09-2009, 05:12 PM
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Chelsey -------
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#27
02-09-2009, 05:16 PM
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8-9 years ago, ppl thought he was weird.
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Sara Creating for absolutely no one because I don't think I know how to scrap anymore.
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#28
02-09-2009, 05:20 PM
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Yeah, I know exactly what you're saying. My mom NEVER shops on registries. I don't think I realized how important and smart it was until we got married and had a registry (and got very little off it)... but that's all it took for me to buy off registries. However, if know the people well, I will buy games and fun stuff instead.
So, what do you do when you get married and have a reception in another state and you fly to that reception so you can't really take back gifts? I don't think there's a tactful way to say "we're flying, don't buy us gifts... just gift cards or money" yeah... dilemma dilemma.
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#29
02-09-2009, 05:42 PM
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Seriously SO RUDE
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#30
02-09-2009, 05:56 PM
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I still think it's incredibly tacky to include the registry information in the shower or wedding invite. I got one just last year and immediately informed my mom and sister (who also got invites) that I did NOT want them to do that for my wedding/shower. We're getting around it by setting up a wedding website and including a page with information about where we're registered. If we weren't doing that, I'd be going with word of mouth. Everyone who is invited is either a close friend of ours who can ask, or a close of mine or Jordan's parents who can ask them.
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~Colleen~
Re-attempting a creative life after far too long!
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#31
02-09-2009, 06:00 PM
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If you're not going to get something off the registry, I think the polite thing to do would be to either get a gift card for a well-known store or just send money. So many people have now lived on their own or together before they get married that most people already have a bunch of stuff - I know we did.
We mostly got money as gifts for our wedding but that was because almost everyone invited knew that we were moving overseas literally a week after the wedding and they figured the money would be more useful since we could take it with us. At the time it kind of seemed kind of lame since we did take the time to register and didn't get hardly anything off of it. But here we are three years later and we've been able to slowly spend the money to get stuff we actually wanted and needed. We even went and did a big splurge on Black Friday at Bed, Bath and Beyond - we had two carts full of stuff just for us We did get I think maybe four gifts that weren't on our registry and of those gifts only one is something we actually use. The other three were a crystal frame, a weird metal artsy-onion shaped dish and a set of silverware that was the same brand we registered for but not the same ones we picked. The funny thing is I remember seeing that silverware when we registered and I thought they were totally ridiculous. Apparently someone thought we'd like them!
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#32
02-09-2009, 06:00 PM
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Chelsey -------
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#33
02-09-2009, 06:02 PM
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Chelsey -------
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#34
02-09-2009, 06:08 PM
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I prefer the website as well Col. Since this is my second wedding and I already have a home we are going to register for some basics that need replaced (towels, sheets, ect) but nothing big & fancy (no expresso machines & blenders). We will just go to Bed Bath & Beyond, then just mention it if anyone asks. We are hoping for $$ and gift cards but will NOT ask or tell anyone that ourselves LOL.
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#35
02-09-2009, 06:14 PM
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See, even though we have pretty much everything we need, we're registering for stuff to replace it. We have 1.5 crappy pot sets that have gone through college and stupid roommates and are gross at this point. Our silverware drawer is a horrible mishmosh of crap and it drives me insane. The plastic utensils that Jordan has are leaky and retain tons of water in the dishwasher and I get angry everytime I take them out and get soaking wet hands and pants.
So we're registering for all kinds of stuff, from single spatulas to a Krups single serve coffee maker for me, because he doesn't drink coffee, and a brand spankin new set of pots and pans I WANTED to let him go to Home Depot and have some fun, but he doesn't understand why anyone is even getting us gifts. So I'm doing the registering myself (he said it's better this way, lol). We're registering at Crate and Barrel and Bed Bath and Beyond. Plenty of options in plenty of price points to satisfy everyone.ETA: I'm having little cards made up at moo.com to insert into the save teh dates with the website on it. That way everyone will know about the website.
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~Colleen~
Re-attempting a creative life after far too long!
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#36
02-09-2009, 06:17 PM
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I personally like getting the registery info in the invite. I know etiquette-wise its a no-no, but frankly, I also think that needs to be revamped for the times. I love registeries and love to shop off them. Then I know they are getting something they want. We did get mostly stuff on our registery though we did get a few things not on there. I have no problem though with very close friends gettings something else. One of my bridesmaids was living in England when I got engaged and bought some gorgeous presents for me from Ireland.
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#38
02-09-2009, 06:19 PM
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Yea and the small cards are only $25 I think for 100. TOTALLY worth it to get that through them than make them myself.
Speaking of wedding stuff, I really need order the stuff to make our favors......
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~Colleen~
Re-attempting a creative life after far too long!
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#39
02-09-2009, 06:43 PM
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lots and lots of people gave us cash... and I'm perfectly happy with that! That plus all the stuff we returned (because our families were kind enough to put reciepts in with things that weren't on our registry) we bought a gorgeous set of bedroom furniature.
I always always check the registry, unless I know them really well, and then sometimes I'll get them something personal that I know they'll love that didn't happen to be on the registry, something really unique
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#40
02-09-2009, 06:52 PM
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I totally was antiegistry. Until I got married and had my own registry. Now I won't buy anything that isn't on there.
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 robin
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#41
02-09-2009, 06:54 PM
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OK Not to be rude and I might not be the popular opinion here but a gift is something that a person WANTS to give and it is not an entitlement therefore if you receive anything you should be grateful for what you were given even if it is tacky and something you would never use.
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    Dreaming of creating for Cindy Schneider, Studio Flergs & Kristin Cronin-Barrow
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