So damn frustrated. (long)

[junebug]

I have been looking for jobs off and on for about a year. Nothing fancy as i don't have a college degree. I've just been applying at places like WalMart, Meijer, Target, Kohls, mall stores etc. I'd take part time even seasonal. I just need something so that we have income coming in weekly. Right now we get my DH's VA compensation on the first and his social security on the fourth wednesday of every month. after we pay all our bills, car payment and buy groceries it doesn't always leave us with a lot to carry us through the month for milk, diapers, gas extra stuff like that. So for me to get even a part time job would help us A LOT. I had a couple interviews over the summer. nothing came of it. I just put in several the other day. I know Target is hiring for seasonal and i put my app in there. I love Target and i think it would be fun. Well, I just got this email today.

Corey,


Thank you for taking the time to apply with us. We are unable to offer you a position at this time, but we do appreciate your interest in Target.

Target Kokomo

WTH. what in the world am i doing wrong? i just went there tonight and there is a big red Now Hiring sign on there dang door! Retail is all ive ever done, i'm more than qualified. I think it is my crappy work history. We were a military family for almost 8 years so we moved around a lot. And i don't remember all the phone numbers, supevisors names of all those places, or else i just didn't work in some places so there are gaps. Or else some places are here at home but no longer in business so i obviously don't have a phone number. And its been 6 years since i have worked. i've been a SAHM. So is it my work history they don't like? do they think i'm making this stuff up? I know they do history checks, and we did file bankruptcy but it's been over two years since it was finalized an i know some places frown upon that. not that is has anything to do with my character but whatever. So now i'm pissed and tempted to go to Target and ask why i didnt even get an interview. and i'm losing hope and my husband is mad that i haven't found one. he thinks i'm not trying hard enough because he thinks i don't really want one. he says if he went out to look that he'd find a job in no time. but he can't work with his PTSD. he tried. his depression and anxiety just get in the way and the meds are not miracle drugs. i just don't know what to do. what more can i do to find work?

if you read all this, bless your heart.

[newfiemountiewife]

I'm so sorry Corey. To be honest, I'd say it is a lack of regular employment or the gaps in employment that causes them to not look, though if you mentioned you were a SAHM perhaps that would help people understand WHY there are gaps...but I don't know.

I have worked throughout my kids lives, mostly VERY part time, and mostly just to be in the work force, so when the time comes and I want to go back full time, I can do so, with some references behind me.

It sucks no one would take a chance, considering you have experience in retail. Here they are so desperate for retail workers, it's nothing to go into Wal-Mart on a Saturday and there only be 1 cash open because that's all the workers they have available. ((hugs))

[junebug]

yah, i do try to put on the application why there are gaps and that i have been a SAHM, but if its done on one of ther computers there isn't usually anywhere to put any extra information. they just ask for you personal information and your job history and thats it. Target was done on a computer in their customer service area and there was nowhere to put that i'm a SAHM.

[breakingbrie]

How did you apply at Target? I worked seasonal at Target one year, and I filled out my app at a kiosk. The system they had going was as soon as you completed your app, you got an approximate wait time, then you just hung out and waited til they called your name and you met someone in their eatery area and had your interview right there on the spot.
I don't know what it is about jobs lately. Don't get too down though, it's coming up on the busy season, there's bound to be someplace hiring!!!

[digideb]

I really don't know what to say Corey, b/c I have never worked a full time job. I've had 3 small part time jobs & the longest lasted only 4 or 5 months. I probably couldn't get a job if I wanted one! LOL So, since I have no advice, I'm just offering lots of (((((HUGS))))

[junebug]

Brie, we must have posted at the same time, lol. it didn't work like that here at mine. i filled it out at their kiosk and then i was done. no interview on the spot.

[breakingbrie]

Well that stinks :P. I've only worked one job since i had the girls, a summer job and it was my second summer there. I'm sorry you haven't been able to find anything yet!! But like I said, as it gets closer and closer to the holidays, there's got to be more people hiring!

[junebug]

oh, i'm pretty sure i'll find something. even seasonal would be fine; sometimes it can turn into a full time position if they like you or still need you. i may try going to the unemployment place and see if they have job placement. or i'll just start calling the places i've applied and bug the hell out of them til they give me a shot, lol.

[LenaGardner]

Corey,

(((hugs)))

My degree is in the HR field, so I can help you a little with this. I can't answer why you didn't get a call...it could be for many reasons so I can't speculate. But I WOULD very much encourage you to call on Monday morning, mid-morning, and ask to speak to the personnel manager. Explain the situation and I'd say something like, "I very much need to find work and I'm trying to learn from every experience, even a declination. If I know what is keeping me from even getting an interview, maybe I can change it for the future."

Something like that

You just never know, a computer program may have weeded you out, and maybe talking to a person will change the answer! I wouldn't count on it...I'd call in hopes of guidance, not an interview, but perhaps and interview will come out of it!

[LenaGardner]

Oh and I seriously encourage you to get your information in order! Do some research and find out your old phone numbers and addresses for previous employers. It *can* be a red flag when info is incomplete or wrong.

One more question, did the application include an Orion Opinion Survey or something like it?

[SeattleSheri]

Corey, that's really frustrating. It could be your work history or it could be that one of your references is saying something less than desirable (although they don't usually check references until after an interview). I would definitley send an email back and ask them for more details (in a very cordial way, of course). I've done a lot of hiring, and I wouldn't personly disqualifiy anyone due to work history, but I always asked them about it in the interview. {{{HUGS}}}

[Tracie Stroud]

I'm so sorry! I know that must be frustrating. If it helps, I've had several friends get seasonal jobs at Bath and Body Works and then were asked to stay on. I hope you find something soon!

[jessica31876]

Im really sorry...I wanted to get a job when my son started school and for over a year I applied at every store in my area and I did not even get an interveiw. I called and they said they were not hiring but then Id see signs that they were hiring. I just gave up after a year of not getting anywhere because we were doing pretty good. Now I kinda need a job again and cant find one because there are so many people applying for the same jobs. It really sucks. I hope you find something soon though.

[LenaGardner]

Oh I just thought of one more thing...one thing that could have disqualified you immediately is if you weren't available nights and weekends. If you were available, then obviously that's not the problem...but I know at the last retail place I hired for, if someone didn't have night and weekend availability, they were immediately moved to file 13.

[mommy2aria06]

Oh no!! I'm so so sorry to hear that Corey!! I have no idea why you aren't getting called back but I do have to agree with Lena that sometimes just making that extra effort to call/meet with the manager will make a difference. Honestly, it may be the gaps that are keeping you from getting something but if you show you are very interested that could really work to your advantage! Good luck hun and let us know!!

[~Julie~]

{{Hugs}} I'm sorry they didn't even give you an interview.

Do you have a toys r us near you? I know they start hiring for Christmas help soon. I hope you find something you like soon.

[Mandy]

I was a SAHM for 13 years. The second week of looking for a job I got hired by Lowe's and am now making over $3 over the minimum wage and am a supervisor.
I, too, am a spouse of a military man and moved A LOT... so don't think that factors in. Target will get you nowhere because I put an application in there too when they had the big red hiring sign a few years back and I got nothin.
Make sure you are calling HR management to check back on the status of your application.
The two places that contacted me were PetSmart and Lowe's. Maybe try there?
Don't worry, you'll find something soon, just keep trying..

[chloe]

((((hugs)))), that stinks! Hope you'll find something very quickly!!

[junebug]

thanks everyone! as for the times i put that i'm available, well that can't be an issue because i put anytime except the midnight shift (with 3 kids they would never let me sleep, even when chad was watching them. its a small house and i wouldn't get any sleep lol) so that can't be the reason. i did find phone numbers for all my jobs except for the ones that are no longer in business, even the two out of state in Georgia and Texas. so i really have no idea and i probably will try to call and see what there reasoning is. Lena, i really like what you said and maybe i'll use that line you gave me, lol.

if they actually did call the pizza place i worked for in Texas, she probably did give me a bad rep but just because i quit suddenly on her. i delivered pizzas and the car we had at the time was starting to overheat a lot and we were moving in a month anyway and had to drive that car back home. she really was pissed at me, lol. but no one else should be giving me a bad rep. i don't think.

we don't have a toys r us here anymore, there used to be a looong time ago. we do have a Lowe's and a PetSmart (or is it Petco? lol). we have Menards, Wal-Mart, Meijer, Target, Sears, Kohls(i LOVE this store!) TJMaxx, Payless, Shoe Carnival, JcPenney (which i had an interview with over the summer but didn't get it), Elder Berman(sp), and smaller places in the mall like American Eagle, Aeorpostale (i have apps for these just have to turn them in)Victoria's Secret, PacSun, Maurices and tons of smaller stores. i have actually hit most of these places, lol. i just suck lol.

[Mandy]

Well lemme tell you I have heard stories about those stores like Aeropostale and the type of people they hire....if you catch my drift.

[junebug]

lol, yah i really doubt i'd get hired there, but i though i'd try. plus i like the stores so a discount would be fun lol. they probably think i'm too old (30) haha

hahaha but there is an obvious gay guy at American Eagle and he looks atleast my age lol!!

[AmyM]

Corey I know how you feel!
I worked my butt off from the time I was 16 until my daughter was born. Two jobs at a time, college, etc.... But nobody seems to care about that. I don't have an official degree but I have like 3+ yrs of college under my belt. One of the programs I took, I'm only math classes and volunteer hours away from graduating (long story, I can't work in the substance abuse field the way the system here in NC is set up- it kills my conscience). I have worked in the private school system and retail forever too. Was manager of a jewelry store, assitant manager at another one which was really snooty and so out of my league LOL.......you would think people trusting you around 25,000 dollar Rolex watches and with deposits in excess of that (plus I've NEVER been fired) would count for something. But obviously it doesn't. Apparently I'm not qualified to work at Wal-Mart or the local grocery store but they're always hiring. Just not hiring me.

I went back to work for a few months when Kassi was almost 2 and with daycare, her eye surgery, etc.... it was just a mess. I've been applying for part time jobs off and on for 5 yrs now. I'm convinced people think you're some kind of moron for going against the grain and being a sahm. Not everybody, but whoever it is in charge of hiring. I can't think of any other reason.

[Nikki Epperson]

I'm so sorry Corey! I have no words of wisdom - just know I'm sending hugs your way!

[my3hens]

Im very sorry that you didn't get the job. I wish I had some advice but all I really have is a hugs sweety! I hope you find something soon!

[junebug]

i'm just overwhelmed. DH and i get into fights and threatens to leave me if i don't find a job and that he'd get the kids cause i won't be making money. i don't really know if he'd actually get custody but this scares the living crap out of me. I don't even know if i believe he'd actually leave me. he's been saying this off and on for the last almost 2 years i've been looking. course i haven't been looking non stop but still you'd think someone would have hired me by now.

[Melissa Bennett]

Oh I am so sorry. Wish I had some advice for ya, but I have been a SAHM for over 10 years. I hope you find something soon.

[meems]

ack, I hate jobhunting! Sorry it is not going well for you. I think Lena had good suggestions.

Are you actually talking to managers? I would try to speak to a manager in person. It's really easy to set aside a paper/electronic app but they might give you more attn if they see you in person.

hope something turns up for you soon.

[amystoffel]

I don't know if I missed a post with the answer to this question or not...but I used to be a manager in a hiring position for lots of retail companies. Gaps in employment without explanation is huge. Also the reasons you put for leaving your last employers, how long you stayed with your employers, and odd variations in pay without explanation. I am also curious what hours you are available for work. Places like Target have specific shifts they need covered, a lot of them staying until 11 or 12 or later to clean the store once it's closed.

If you truly feel like you are qualified and were passed over, I would walk my booty down to Target and ask to speak to a manager or someone in human resources and ASK for an interview. I know I would find that impressive.

[junebug]

the main reasong for leaving my jobs was because we were a military family and moved every year or so, maybe 2 years. and in some of those places it took me awhile to find a job so i may have been only working there for about 4-6 months. or some places like in germany i never found one. we were there for almost 2 years. and for the last almost 6 years i've just stayd at home. before moving back here about 2 years ago, we were in Maryland/DC area and i just didnt' feel safe walking around by myself to and from work. we didnt get a car til it was time to leave, or else we had no on to watch the kids while chad was at Walter Reed everyday. Up until i married chad and moved around i held my jobs for atleast a year or more. and i try to explain this but there isn't always a place to do so unless its a paper application and then i explain a lot, lol.

[newfiemountiewife]

Originally Posted by junebug

i'm just overwhelmed. DH and i get into fights and threatens to leave me if i don't find a job and that he'd get the kids cause i won't be making money. i don't really know if he'd actually get custody but this scares the living crap out of me. I don't even know if i believe he'd actually leave me. he's been saying this off and on for the last almost 2 years i've been looking. course i haven't been looking non stop but still you'd think someone would have hired me by now.

Corey, that makes me sad. It's obvious you're trying. I don't think he would get custody, but even him saying that to you must make you feel so bad. I'm so sorry. ((hugs))

[junebug]

Originally Posted by newfiemountiewife

Corey, that makes me sad. It's obvious you're trying. I don't think he would get custody, but even him saying that to you must make you feel so bad. I'm so sorry. ((hugs))

yah, he really makes me feel worthless. i know i'm not, but it really hurts my feelings. he apparently doesn't care. I love him, but if i can't promise i would not leave him if i could find a really good job to support myself and the kids. My Escape payment is $650 an month so it'd have to be a really good job, lol. it won't be paid off for another 52 payments (horrible credit, but really needing a car and being spoiled and getting what i wanted is the end result of that huge car payment. but i love my car lol)

i hate saying or thinking about leaving him; we've been through a lot. i really do love him and despite the way he talks to me i know he loves me too. he tells me he does. he is my first love. ever since coming back from Iraq he has never been quite the same and leaving him would feel like i was abandoning him in a way . i doubt i ever really would. if i can find a job it will make things a lot better. we are stressed over money.

[LeeAndra]

Please tell your husband that I have a college degree and live in Indianapolis which is a much bigger population and job potential and have had no better luck than you in finding a job. I'm going back to my job as a temp with the state after 5 months because of the vast chasm that is unemployment.

It's not you; it's the economy.

[newfiemountiewife]

Corey, I have found that the absolute worst times in our marriage have been when we had financial problems. It affects everything and how you feel about everything, including each other and the marriage. It is SO stressful.

[Voodoo_Bryn]

Corey, I think you should really start looking into some night classes, as well, they have financial aid. You're obviously really good with your graphics program, so you might want to look into getting at least a degree in graphics design, since you already have an eye. I know you need a job right now, but I can't even begin to tell you the difference in salary a degree makes. It will take awhile, but it would be worth it in the end for you and the kiddos, especially if you're taking out the trash. (Nobody should ever be made to feel worthless, you're showing your kids that it's okay for someone to treat them like that if you stay or don't fix it)
A lot of corporations will compensate for college courses, so it's something to look into, even if it's just a couple of classes a semester. My MIL, while annoying, has been working on her degree for the past 5 years, I've seen how much it's improved her self-confidence, and more importantly, her self-worth. You need to get back to a place where you can look at yourself in the mirror and love who you see, please don't let anybody beat you down.
I've "known" you for a few months now, and I think you are an amazing, intelligent, eloquent woman, you need to find your strengths and bolster them.

Please please please, listen to us, we know how wonderful you are, it's too bad he doesn't. ((hugs))

[lizzyfizzy]

it doesn't make sense that you cannot find a job!!! i would be super pissed too!

one quick word of advice: (since DH is a manager at Best Buy) i know for a fact that when you are applying through those automated, computer programs, they will just kick out your app if your app doesn't 'qualify'. hear me out, this is kind of hard to explain. it's not that your not 'qualified' as a worker. it's that the computer system only puts through apps that are consistant. meaning: you can't answer many or ANY maybe/middle of the road answers. they want strong 'yes' and 'no' answers. does this make any sense?!?! DH has had to call people back that he knew personally that were applying at his stores in the past and override the system to bring them in for the 'next step' interviews. simply because 'the system' didn't 'like' their applications. pm me if you want my number to call me.

[LenaGardner]

Originally Posted by lizzyfizzy

hear me out, this is kind of hard to explain. it's not that your not 'qualified' as a worker. it's that the computer system only puts through apps that are consistant. meaning: you can't answer many or ANY maybe/middle of the road answers. they want strong 'yes' and 'no' answers. does this make any sense?!?!

Yep, this is exactly why I asked if there was an Orion opinion survey on there. I used to administer them (as a matter of fact, I think my knowledge of it kept me from getting a job last summer because I got none wrong, and it's designed for you to get SOMETHING of the 63 questions wrong...I've never seen anyone not get flagged from SOMETHING in all of my years hiring and then someone like me comes along and knows every answer. LOL, I'm sure it looked suspicious. But that's not the point...the point is I agree it could have been kicked out by the computer, as a matter of fact I'd put money on it since you got your answer so quickly and most Personnel managers work M-F. Don't give up hope yet!

[crystalbird]

I don't have anything more to add to what great advice everyone has already given but just wanted to send some ((((hugs))))!!!

[junebug]

Originally Posted by lizzyfizzy

it doesn't make sense that you cannot find a job!!! i would be super pissed too!

one quick word of advice: (since DH is a manager at Best Buy) i know for a fact that when you are applying through those automated, computer programs, they will just kick out your app if your app doesn't 'qualify'. hear me out, this is kind of hard to explain. it's not that your not 'qualified' as a worker. it's that the computer system only puts through apps that are consistant. meaning: you can't answer many or ANY maybe/middle of the road answers. they want strong 'yes' and 'no' answers. does this make any sense?!?! DH has had to call people back that he knew personally that were applying at his stores in the past and override the system to bring them in for the 'next step' interviews. simply because 'the system' didn't 'like' their applications. pm me if you want my number to call me.

aha!!! that has to be why! i had a lot of yes or no but also quite a few in the middle . but that's just me, lol. i'm in the middle on a lot okay. i feel a tad bit better that it was a stupid computer that didn't like me and not the person that hires, lol.

thank you Bryn and everyone for your kind words. i have always wanted to go to college, and graphic design is (well one of)the things i've wanted to do. We have IUK her just down the road from me. I know DH would love if i went to school. he used to say either finde a job or go to school. i don't think i could handle both and still take care of the kids unless it was just a few classes at a time and if DH seriously stepped up to help me more. i'm just scared, lol. i graduated high school in '97. i did okay. i could have done better. what scares me is math. its alwasy been my weakness. i hate math lol. i actually did a few a's mostly b's in algebra when i took it but thats as high as i went. no calculus or geometry. so i know there are basic requirements you have to complete in college and i'm afraid i'll find out i'm an idiot . no, i know i'm not. i had really good grades in everything else. and i love learning. c'mon, the discover channel and discovery science channel are my favorite things to watch, and going to are/history/science museums make me giddy. i'm in fact, a big nerd.

maybe i'll look into that as well. i know that since Chad is a Veteran, there are a lot of financial help for spouses out there.

thanks again!

[nonnie]

Hang in there Corey ~ And I have to say that I totally agree with Bryn - I went back to school and I have a degree in Anthropology - (somewhat useless for a "real" job - but I LOVE it!) and I am now working on my masters - I have to say that the better I feel about myself reflects on the the quality of our relationship... Starbucks is another option - they have great diversity in employees - in most of the "mall" shops they are looking for someone who looks like the posters -
I think graphic design would be something to look into - even if you started at the community college and I know starting Aug 09 - spouses can use their husbands GI bill -

Huggs!!!!!

[junebug]

I think its cool that you are doing something you love even if it isn't a "real" job. i have always thought it would be fun to go to college just to learn everything you wanted to learn, many different fields.

i also have had a secret dream of wanting to be like Indiana Jones; digging for old relics and things in far off places. it sounds SO fun, but i really can't think of leaving my kids behind when i'm off traipsing around the world, so it'll stay a fantasy, lol. Unless i could get a job at a museum....

[scrapmonkey]

Corey - unfortunately the job market sucks out there, retail or not. My husband has been looking since December/January and he has a business degree. We're in Ohio, close to the Indiana border, so it's a similar economy. He's had 9-10 calls the entire time he's been looking and he's applied via craigslist, monster, classifieds, and even networking contacts. He has a similar problem of changing jobs and then spaces in employment, but for different reasons than you - he was a student for several years so he had to sometimes look when his schedule changed, then we moved here from TX to OH for my job, then he was in an accident and had back surgery, and he was laid off last year seasonally (but the business didn't recover enough after the season to invite him back). We are fortunate enough during this time not to have kids to add to the financial stress, but I think I've been very patient with him not getting a job. Never have I threatened to leave him if he didn't get a job, even though I get frustrated when he refuses to look at temp agencies. In fact more times than not, I am standing up and trying to boost his ego, since the long job search alone can strip someone of what confidence they may have.
As for going to school, don't be afraid of college math - there's little above the algebraic level unless you major in mathematics, finance, engineering, economics or physics. You'll also find that education is much better as an adult than it was when we were younger - I got so much more out of graduate school than I did in undergraduate and my mom had a better time getting her college degree when she got her degree nearly at the same time as me, than her attempt when she was younger (when she almost failed and then actually dropped out). I have been trying to convince my DH that this might be the right time to get his graduate degree (he wants to be an employment rights lawyer), but we are going to hold off until I get a more secure job, preferably better paying, since I've been told I am being laid off in June.
You are not alone, Corey, and hopefully the advice presented by others will help you. I just wish your DH was being more supportive during this rough time.

[ditzyscrap]

Sorry you're having trouble finding work, Corey!!

Speaking of the surveys...even McD's has one, lol! In bigger cities it's valuable for figuring out who should be hired (we have green/yellow/red categories - green is like "hire now", red is like "not a good candidate") but they DO screw up. Some of the best employees our McD's has (which is in the top 10 of Canada for McD's restaurants) were reds. And lots of greens have quit soon after being hired or are extremely unreliable. Cities are hard because there are SO many applying for the same job that they kinda have to use it as a guideline, but I'm in a smaller town and we need people, so the survey is just a random thing we do but don't really pay attention to, lol.

I didn't read through all of the responses, but I would encourage you to broaden your search a bit. If you've been in retail - you know how to run a till, right? Try pharmacies (as a cashier), movie stores, even fast food restaurants! If you want to broaden it a little bit more, you could try to do something entry-level in a restaurant - prep cook or hostess, even. Don't narrow it down to "I've always done retail, so I need to do retail now" - that experience you gained in retail helps in almost every other service related industry - customer service and knowing how to use a till goes a LONG way. You could try places like Staples, Office Depot, etc, as well - Best Buy even maybe?

[junebug]

thank you, Leslie. it helps to know i'm not alone, and that it's not like i am just not good enough. i don't apply for anything i don't know how to do. i'm going to look into possibly going to school, though we really do need extra money. we're not about to lose the car or anything but its just really tight. Plus we are trying to get the work done on this fixer upper so hopefully in about 4 or 5 years we can sell it and get what we really want (little bigger, nicer).

Bree, that's a good idea to broaden my search. well, except for fast food, lol. i know i shouldn't be picky, and no offense to anyone who's done that but i really don't want to do that. i haven't tried Staples or Best Buy. i do have a Hobby Lobby app to fill out and turn in. Now that is the job i should have, lol. a craft store!

you guys have really boosted my spirits, seriously. i may not know you all in person, but i consider everyone here my friends and i luv ya!

[junebug]

oh, and boy has this thread gotten long. i wasn't expecting so many kind responses!