another nervous day for the Fowler family

[Valgal]

This afternoon we have a hearing for the child we have in our emergency care, the intent to change his status and make him a ward of the state so he can offically enter the fost care system and receive benefits. We will also be meeting an out-of-town uncle who Jake does not know who is seeking custody of him.

I'm trying to be cool to keep him calm, but I'm really a big ball of nerves.

[*Celeste*]

Hugs! I'm wishing you the best outcome possible!

[julifish]

Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers that the right answer will come forward and everyone will end up happy. Thanks for all you do in helping kids that need that extra love!!!

[Penny Springmann]

Keeping you and the kiddo in my thoughts. I hope everything goes well and for the best.

[MamaBee]

Good Luck!!

[kristijoy]

Definately positive thought! Hope it all goes well today.

[scrapsandsass]

Hugs!

I hope for the best possible for you and your family! You guys are amazing with all that you do.

[nesser1981]

Praying for you guys Val. Keep us posted.

[Valgal]

Well... that was one of the most stressful days of my LIFE. This aunt, who was the dad's 1/2 sister that he hadn't seen in 18 years, showed up. She didn't even know Jake existed until a few months ago. She started saying to him, "Family is the most important thing there is... and THEY are not family..."

OHMYFREAKINGGOD WOMAN!

Needless to say I told her off and she walked away sulking. Jake told me later, "If family is so important then why did she not even talk to us for all these years? Besides, you ARE my family."

sniff, sniff!

This uncle showed up with no less than 10 people, all of whom he has never met or barely remember. They were all in his face and wanting to meet him. It was totally overhelming. Child protective services gave him a room to stay in to stay seperate from all of them. The uncle has last will and testament papers saying that in the event of his brothers death, Jake will go live with him. So far he is willing to work with us, but another hearing is set for June 21st to offically determine custody. I have to stay on friendly terms with this family otherwise they'll rip him away from us for sure. It's going to be a LONG 7 weeks. These people are crazy.

[nesser1981]

I hope everything goes well Val! I'll continue to pray that he gets to stay with you guys!

[Valgal]

Thanks, girl

[CA Dreamer]

Good luck with all of this. How hard!!! I really hope the uncle turns out to be a good egg. That 1/2 aunt(I won't give the full auntie-status!) is a nut. Hopefully, the rest of the family has her number and she will be gone for another 18 years. And, good for CPS to realize that he needed distance from the 'mob' and get a separate room for him.

Hugs to you. How lucky he is to have you.

[kristijoy]

Hopefully he'll realize what's best for the kid!

[scrapperjade]

I'm not really sure how CPS works, but since Jake is older (12??), will CPS talk to him about who he wants to live with? In Canada, 12 is the age when a child legally can choose who he/she wants to live with (not sure how it works with foster/adopt though - this is for parents who have divorced)? It seems like it would be MORE traumatizing for him to go live with "family" who he's never even met before, and would be in his best interest for him to stay with you for good.

It seems bizarre to me that now that his dad has passed away, the family is fighting for him... where were they for the last 12 years???

[CA Dreamer]

Originally Posted by scrapperjade

It seems bizarre to me that now that his dad has passed away, the family is fighting for him... where were they for the last 12 years???

Seriously! Very strange huh?

[Ginger_79]

I wasn't sure, if I should write this, but it seems to me that being absent for years and now wanting to take care doesn't automatically make this uncle a weirdo.

I do not know the situation and I believe the authorities had a reason for giving the boy to you. I seriously hope all will be sorted in a way that makes him the most happy. But to the uncle's defence, think about yourself in the situation. Have there maybe been people you weren't so close with in your family? Maybe him and the dad were not close. But if you hear there is an orphan boy now, maybe you would still be willing to help him?

My BF for example hasnt seen one of his uncle's in years. That uncle made the decision to stay out of his life after my BFs father killed himself. But recently when BF drove through England and got in contact, his uncle was delighted to meet him. In a family there can be a 100 reasons and old stories.

Of course that aunt was NOT thinking about the boy or she wouldn't have been so insensitive. And yes, it's of course overwhelming to bombard a child with lots of "lost" relatives. Yet, it sounded to me like the uncle is in principle willing to work with you and the authorities. Maybe these people do not trust the foster system completely. Some only remember the horror stories they read in newspapers. And maybe he will agree to leave the boy with you, but keep in contact. Which at a later stage might be nice for your foster son to have that connection to his family.

Again, I do not know this uncle or that family's situation. All I'm saying is that I find it hard to judge him just because he had been absent before. After all there is a chance that he really just wants to help the boy (if it's for the better or not) and that is a resepectable thing in my eyes.

But I do hope all turns out well for your family, Valerie.

[nietis]

I hope all is well in 7 weeks, Valerie!!! *hugs*

[Heather Roselli]

Crossing my fingers for you Val!