Sleep help!

[Jengerbread88]

Okay, Zach is being stubborn. Like really stubborn.

Everything says "babies need to sleep on their back" because otherwise there is a higher risk of SIDS. I understand this. I totally agree with this. The whole SIDS thing scares me to death.

I lay Zach on his back. He cries and cries, then rolls over on his stomach and falls asleep. I watch him VERY closely while he is on his tummy, and when he is SUPER asleep, I roll him to his back again. He immediately wakes up and cries until he manages to roll back onto his stomach. As soon as he's on his stomach, he crashes.

I've tried everything to keep him from rolling over onto his stomach. My mom even has this wedge thing for babies to keep them from rolling over in their sleep. No dice. He pushes and kicks until it's wiggled out from under his back and sides, and is around his feet, then rolls over to his stomach again.

Part of me just says, "if he's comfortable and sleeping, then it's okay." The other part of me knows how bad that is for him and doesn't want it to continue. It's gotten to the point anymore that I'll get him good and asleep and then put him in his infant chair and go to sleep on the couch, just so we both get sleep. If he's on his back he just cries and cries.

Help!

[clearskies]

My kids both slept on their tummies from day one. Go with your instincts.

[jacinda]

My sister has 4 kids who are now aged between 8 and 1. ALL of them slept on their tummies. The plunket nurses growled her for doing that (it's against advised policy to sleep babies on tummies here), but she stuck to her guns and told them this is the ONLY way her kids would sleep. Rather they sleep and she has some sanity, than they stay awake all hours and she goes crazy. Her kids all had pretty strong necks though too, and she was confident that they could lift and turn their own heads at night if they needed too. Does that make sense?

[Jengerbread88]

Originally Posted by jacinda

Her kids all had pretty strong necks though too, and she was confident that they could lift and turn their own heads at night if they needed too. Does that make sense?

Makes sense. Zach has been lifting his head since 2 days old... his neck is pretty strong... he turns his head well during tummy time...

[heathergw]

have you tried swaddling him... like really super tight swaddle? it's the only way my kids would sleep on their backs... otherwise they prefer their tummy, but I'm a freak and wasn't comfortable with tummy sleeping until they could roll over from tummy to back on a regular basis.


Asher is 7 months old and I still swaddle him super tight... it's the only way he'll sleep.

[ayaandjudah]

Originally Posted by heathergw

have you tried swaddling him... like really super tight swaddle? it's the only way my kids would sleep on their backs... otherwise they prefer their tummy, but I'm a freak and wasn't comfortable with tummy sleeping until they could roll over from tummy to back on a regular basis.


Asher is 7 months old and I still swaddle him super tight... it's the only way he'll sleep.

This. Elijah is 4 months old and will sleep for less than an hour at a clip unless he's swaddled super tight. We use the halo sleep sack swaddle and it works wonders for us. The miracle blanket didn't get us tight enough.

[Stacey42]

My oldest slept better on his tummy too. I just cleared his bed of everything, put him in a warm sleeper and let him do it. It only lasted a few weeks, like he needed to figure out how to fall asleep & that was the position that worked for him. After a few weeks of sleeping on his tummy he was able to sleep in any position.

[sprauncey1]

Is he rolling by himself from back to front? Then leave him. The back to sleep thing really is meant for parents putting them down, but if he's strong enough to roll, then leave him! Swaddle super tight like they said and if that doesn't work, then just let him roll! Once my boys (older than Zach is now) rolled over finally, they both slept on their bellies. Just don't have any blankets or anything in there.

[Davita]

Originally Posted by heathergw

have you tried swaddling him... like really super tight swaddle? it's the only way my kids would sleep on their backs... otherwise they prefer their tummy, but I'm a freak and wasn't comfortable with tummy sleeping until they could roll over from tummy to back on a regular basis.

This is what we did for all 3 of ours. That and playing the sound machine worked for us.

[Sarah8914]

I'd leave him if it were me. My second always slept on her tummy!

[emmasmommy]

both of mine always slept on their tummies unless the were swaddled. both girls had tummy issues and liked the extra pressure. both girls also use sound machines.

[Kenzi]

I'm a huge fan of swaddling! Both my boys had to be swaddled or they would not sleep. I think I even swaddled them until they were like 9 months old lol. By that time they were mobile and they they pretty much slept how they liked. My youngest would always sleep on his tummy with his legs tucked up and his cute little bum in the air. I say go with your gut! But if you're not totally comfortable with him sleeping on his stomach then give swaddling a try. I highly recommend the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block". It has all the great tips for proper swaddling and good sleep help.

[eranslow]

Have you heard of an Angelcare Monitor? http://www.angelcare-monitor.com/United-States/en/home They are specifically designed to detect movement (breathing). They are pricey but they might be an option for you. That way you can let him sleep on his tummy and you can rest easy.

[davec777]

All 4 of my kids slept on their tummies - no problems at all. They don't startle themselves out of sleep like they do on their back because their arms don't move so much. If you can't stand the tummy - I would swaddle ....

Stephanie

[Jengerbread88]

Zach hates swaddling. Refuses to be swaddled! (after I spent a FORTUNE on those Halo things!)

I may look into that monitor...

[sczos911]

my youngest was a tummy sleeper. still is.

[newfiemountiewife]

Mine always slept on their backs, I was too terrified of SIDS not to do it.

Once they were able to roll themselves back and forth, there wasn't much you could do about that. Most babies do like sleeping on their tummies, but personally, if mine were on their tummies, I couldn't sleep because I worried too much. But that's just me.

My youngest, Rae, was a huge puker...I had a wedge and propped her on her side. I couldn't leave her on her back, but I wasn't going to put her on her tummy either.

[SirScrapalot]

Well, I was coming to say swaddle because it's one of the most proven ways to help a baby sleep, but everyone else has said it, and you are saying it won't work for Zach. Both of my girls, and my niece loved being swaddled, and it helped immensely with their sleep habits. However, if it's not going to work for you, I'm afraid I don't have any other advice to share.

[MandaT]

I have tummy sleepers, however, they would sleep anywhere in any position if I got them swaddled tight enough.

Even to this day, my youngest who is 1 1/2, LOVES the blankies, it doesn't matter if it's 100* outside, he wants to be covered up & snuggled in, he is restless until you get him tucked, as soon as that happens, out like a light.

[Jengerbread88]

I'll give swaddling another go, but I tried it for about a week after we got home from the hospital and he freaked every time. At first I thought maybe I was doing it wrong, but I used to work in a daycare- I've been swaddling babies since I was 5. The weirdo just doesn't like it :P He loves blankets during the day when he's awake- loves holding them, being draped with them- but as soon as night time hits, those things are GONE.

[taracotta7]

Jenni, all you can do is listen to the advise of these veteran moms (and dad). We have all had kids with different personalities and likes/dislikes. Try the swaddling again. Maybe he will like it now? If that doesn't work, move on to the next advise you got. Parenthood is trial and error. That is why it is great when you have such a big network of moms (and dad) around here to learn from their experiences.

My advise..... My foster son was a horrible sleeper. We got him at 6 weeks. He finally caved in when I swaddled him really tight. He like the swaddler blankets that had the velcro that held him in. I did that until he was like 5 months old or so. He also LOVED to sleep in his swing. It had a 5 point harness so I didn't have to worry about him getting out. It seriously saved my sanity. Again, it is trial and error. I just recommend trying one thing at a time but giving it a few tries before you give up on it.

[cardinalskate]

When I was a new mom, Dr. Karp's "5 S's" from his Happiest Baby on the Block books really helped me. Even if Zach doens't like all 5 of these, maybe one would help? Here they are, copies from his wiki page, but if you're interested, I'd highly recommend the book. I was a freaked out new mom and felt like this was the best advice I had gotten.

Swaddling: Tight swaddling recreates the confinement of the womb.
Side/Stomach position: Holding the baby on the right side slightly face down.
Shushing: Karp uses a loud "ssh" sound similar to the loud white noise that is present in the womb.
Swinging (and jiggling): Gentle but constant jiggling (especially of the head) is intended to remind babies of the constant motion they experienced in the womb.
Sucking: Karp also recommends the use of pacifiers.

Sometimes I only used a couple of these, but most of the time, when she was first learning to sleep on her own, I utilized ALL of them. I had wonderful success with them.

[MamaBee]

My son hated swaddling too... but LOVES blankets.. he, too, needs to be covered up in 3 blankets even if it's 100 out!

Does Zach have acid problems? A couple of times when J was sick and didn't want to sleep on his back, I would lay him in a bounce chair and place that in a bassinet. Othertimes, I used those wedges and my kid managed to wiggle down so that he was at the bottom of the wedges.. lol!

[Jengerbread88]

Originally Posted by cardinalskate

Swaddling: Tight swaddling recreates the confinement of the womb.
Side/Stomach position: Holding the baby on the right side slightly face down.
Shushing: Karp uses a loud "ssh" sound similar to the loud white noise that is present in the womb.
Swinging (and jiggling Gentle but constant jiggling (especially of the head) is intended to remind babies of the constant motion they experienced in the womb.
Sucking: Karp also recommends the use of pacifiers.

I wish this would work! He won't sleep swaddled, he won't use pacis... nothing.

I have been putting him in the swing if he's not asleep around 5am-- because that's when I hit my tired point.



Zach doesn't have acid problems, but he does have a lot of gas, so that I think is a lot of it. I give him some gas drops after his last feeding before bed, but it doesn't always help.

At first it was just tummy troubles and stuff, but now because it's been going on for several days, I think he's gotten his days and nights slightly mixed. We're going to also try to keep him awake more this evening to see if that helps a little, too.

[Traci Reed]

That's a good idea! Keep him up as much as possible today and try a calming ritual (lavender bath?) for night time to get him to sleep. My boys would/will only go to sleep by being rocked. I've never had "lay them in the crib and they'll sleep" kids so maybe rock him to sleep, swaddled, after a bath and when he's nice and full, then wait 20 minutes and put him down in his crib when he's good and asleep. wash. rinse. repeat.

Isn't it nice to have a forum full of moms to turn to for advice? They also have mom forums that might be a better place for this stuff since that's what the forum's for..they might have people who've done things we've never tried! I'd check there too.

[Jengerbread88]

Traci, I love having all of these people to turn to for advice! It's been 10 years since my mom had a baby, and none of my friends have children, except for one who didn't have his son around at this point in his life (didn't get custody til he was almost 2). So I had NO idea who to ask.

I may have to join some mom forums. I've joined pregnancy ones in the past and didn't particularly like the women like I do here, but hopefully the mom ones work better for me! Thanks!

[AmberK]

Ok so....with Drew being a 26 week preemie he had SEVERE reflux problems. While in the hospital he slept on his tummy because they had monitors hooked up to him and could tell immediately if he had breathing issues. Problem was...when he got home he would not go to sleep on his back. So I let him sleep on his tummy. I LOOOOVED my angel care monitor- cant say enough good things about it. We even had Drew sleeping on a reflux wedge on his tummy (it was like a 45 degree incline but he was strapped into a harness that would keep him from moving and sliding down the wedge. That angel care monitor would even detect things with him sleeping on the wedge. I only had the monitor go off 2 times with Drew and I FREAKED out, ran to his room, and found out the problem was he had scooted to the site of the wedge and the monitor couldnt pick up his breathing. He was totally fine.

Ryan had reflux too and I put him on a slight incline and used the angel care monitor and he slept so peacefully. At 8 weeks old he was sleeping 6-7 hrs per night! That was pure HEAVEN!

I still have my angel care monitor that I will let you have if you want it. Its still in great condition and all I would ask is for you to pay for shipping. Shoot me an email if you are interested.

[glumirk]

If none of the 5 things are working for you, then my guess would be that you aren't putting him down until he is too tired. I have been shocked by how much my 2 month old sleeps still, and if we keep her up for too long it's torture putting her back to sleep. Make sure he isn't receiving too much stimulation either. In the evening she is sometimes only awake for 30 minutes after feeding before going back to sleep.

Good luck! We had sooooo many problems with DS, and it's so much easier this time around, but I'm pretty sure it's only because we went through it the hard way with him. But seriously, every time DD has trouble going to sleep it's because we kept her up too long or overstimulated her. Once I calmed things down and didn't try to keep her up she started sleeping soundly. We consistently get at least 8 hours of sleep, and sometimes 10-11.

[scrap2day]

Originally Posted by AmberK

I still have my angel care monitor that I will let you have if you want it. Its still in great condition and all I would ask is for you to pay for shipping. Shoot me an email if you are interested.

This is one of the reasons why I love it here. This generous Random Act of Kindness made my day just reading it.

[lovely1m]

I am a go with the flow kind of person, but in my opinion, just keep trying different things and believe that whatever works best for you is the right thing for you regardless of what is recommended. My son didn't sleep through the night til he was 3 and only started staying in his own bed all night recently and he is almost 5 now. Just do whatever works for you and believe in it. My son liked having his legs swaddeled, but not his arms. I always had to leave those out.

[misfitinmn]

Originally Posted by glumirk

If none of the 5 things are working for you, then my guess would be that you aren't putting him down until he is too tired. I have been shocked by how much my 2 month old sleeps still, and if we keep her up for too long it's torture putting her back to sleep. Make sure he isn't receiving too much stimulation either. In the evening she is sometimes only awake for 30 minutes after feeding before going back to sleep.

Good luck! We had sooooo many problems with DS, and it's so much easier this time around, but I'm pretty sure it's only because we went through it the hard way with him. But seriously, every time DD has trouble going to sleep it's because we kept her up too long or overstimulated her. Once I calmed things down and didn't try to keep her up she started sleeping soundly. We consistently get at least 8 hours of sleep, and sometimes 10-11.

I TOTALLY agree with this - sleep definitely begets sleep. I wouldn't try to keep him up any more than usual in the day - let him sleep when he's tired, just make it a point to keep the normal daytime noise and light happening. And then at night just keep it really quiet and dark - like don't talk to him or even make eye contact if you can avoid it. When my little 2 month old dude doesn't get his adequate naps in (and he sleeps a LOT still), he is a BEAR to put to sleep at night (or at naps, for that matter), so I use any means necessary to make sure he gets his daytime sleep in. Sometimes, it means he takes all of his naps in his swing.

I hope you find something that works for you!!

[Jengerbread88]

Thanks, guys! I'll definitely try that.

I tried swaddling him for naps today, and he still wouldn't go for it, but I'm going to keep trying it this week and see if he decides he likes it. I know he likes his arms out, but hopefully we can get something that works for him.

I took your guys' advice about NOT keeping him up or overstimulating him... we've been leaving all the normal daytime noise and light during his naps (he sleeps soundly in a room where a piano is being LOUDLY practiced!) but I do think sometimes he gets overstimulated before bed, so we'll work on that.

Thanks for the advice! I hope that between all of it, we can find something that works for us! If not, I think that Angel monitor thing will make me feel a little more comfortable about him stomach sleeping, and then maybe we can get some sleep that way!

[Jengerbread88]

Originally Posted by scrap2day

This is one of the reasons why I love it here. This generous Random Act of Kindness made my day just reading it.

It made mine, too! Everyone here is so sweet and kind, and I really appreciate Amber's support! She's truly a sweetheart- I see it all the time on here and on facebook!

This community is so loving and special... I've been a part of a LOT of online communities in my life, but none are as amazing and loving as SSD. I'm so blessed and lucky to be here... and I'm lucky you all put up with me after as many posts as I make asking for advice and everything! Sometimes I just feel totally lost, but posting here gives me so many great ideas to try.

Thanks everyone!

[glumirk]

I just remembered that around a month my daughter was having tummy problems, and simply applying pressure to her tummy as she was falling asleep made all the difference. She would go from squirmy and crying to calm in a matter of seconds.

Also, good signs that your baby is tired are: the first yawn, turns head away when you try to play, flailing arms and legs.

DD isn't a fan of swaddled arms either, but the twitching would keep her from getting into that deep sleep through anything sleep. If I kept them swaddled until she fell asleep (and sometimes I would have to gently hold them in place) then she would get to that sleep point. She always had them out after awhile, but it didn't matter. Now she is a finger sucker, but even wrapping a blanket tightly around her body leaving her arms out helps get sleep better. If she is over tired I HAVE to swaddle the arms.

[cardinalskate]

I couldn't agree more with the over-tired comments. Mine never would sleep well (and still doesn't) if she's over-tired.

I also couldn't agree more about SSD being an awesome and supportive place. We're all so lucky!

[Sharon Kay]

Originally Posted by sprauncey1

Is he rolling by himself from back to front? Then leave him. The back to sleep thing really is meant for parents putting them down, but if he's strong enough to roll, then leave him! Swaddle super tight like they said and if that doesn't work, then just let him roll! Once my boys (older than Zach is now) rolled over finally, they both slept on their bellies. Just don't have any blankets or anything in there.

what she said! I have 3 boys ... NONE of them would sleep on their backs (or side with the wedge pillow) ...I think the main thing is to have a firm mattress and no loose sheets/blankets they could get under their face ... mine didn't want to be swaddled once they could roll ...

[Jengerbread88]

Hey, everyone! Thanks to your advice, we're now sleeping through the night! I think he was being a little too overstimulated before bed (that's when everyone gets home and wants to hold him and play with him!)

I've also made our room a lot darker, which helped. He still wants to sleep on his tummy, but since I've watched him for several nights and saw he can move his head really well, I've been letting him. I still wake up a lot to check on him, but things have gotten a lot better. Thanks!

[4noisyboys]

I'm old school. There was nothing out about this when my boys were young. All four were tummy sleepers, and two slept on lambies. They were all ver strong and could lift their heads from day one. Not a one of them could sleep on their backs.

Also, if he can roll himself over, than it shouldn't be an issue anymore, right? You can't sit over him all night and roll him back over. He's old enough then I would think to sleep however he is comfortable.

Go with your instincts!!!

[sczos911]

Another thing I thought of - we used to elevate (a touch) the mattress using the phone book or dictionary. That way if my girls spit up, it would roll down a bit. It made me having a tummy sleeper a little less nerve wracking.

BUT - I am so glad you are figuring things out. It's tough. And a lot tougher doing it on your own - major props to those that did this all on their own.