Need some input re: splitting the bill.

[marnel]

Ok so I' usually ask for a separate check cuz I want to pay for my own food/drinks.

I was out tonight with 2 other girls and I only ordered one plate of food and drank water. The other girls ordered 2 plates, drinks and a dessert to share but I didn't want any I was full from my plate and the water!

So the bill comes. How much do I owe? oh we'll spilt it. No we won't I ordered one thing and that was it. I'll pay for my own stuff. Then they are like we'll split the taxes, um what?

I really hate for them to think I'm cheap but I knew how much I had to spend and spent accordingly and added a tip + taxes. Something similar had happened before but we were a bigger group and it wasn't worth the aggravation b/c we had all ordered same amount of drinks and 1 plate of food of course it was all different prices.

How would you all handle it? I plan on talking about it with them on Sat when I see them again but seriously I was in awww.

[BrattyMeg]

I'd have asked for a sep check when ordering so that situation doesn't happen. If however they couldn't/wouldn't I'd probably just lay down a certain amount of cash to cover it and said friends could put it toward the bill or pocket it and pay the bill on their own.

If I was going out with friends, I'd make sure and take a set amount of cash and pay according to what I ordered...Heres my 18 bucks to cover my dinner and tax/tip...(etc) It's one thing to pay a couple of extra bucks but it's not fair to pay for plates and drinks you didn't order if the amount is ridiculous.

[kristijoy]

For me, if it's a few bucks, I'll just let it go. But if I'm out with friends and they order lots of expensive things (mainly wine, booze, etc..) then I would definately be persnickity about splitting the bill. I don't drink alcohol and an certainly not going to pick up part of an expensive tab! I also make sure to make that REALLY clear at the beginning before everyone gets too loose.

[ZaCola3]

Reminds me of the episode of Friends where Joey and Rachel were trying to figure out the same thing...

I always ask for separate bills when out with friends.

[nun69]

we ususally do seperate bills too unless there are more than 6 of us, but then again one of my best friends runs a business so she is completely fair and fast with numbers and we usually have her figure out each of our portions and we pay accordingly

[marnel]

Meg and Shannon well that was my bad today I didn't stop to get cash but that's not happening this SAT!!! Plus they were like we'll split the bill at the end. Why make the waiter work extra.... I didn't think they meant literally split the bill in 3 :?

Kristi, that's what it was drinks and @ 9 bucks that's too much plus I wasn't in the mood since I have to take a 2 hour drive tomorrow. I def dont' mind taking care of a round if were' having margaritas or martinis u know but not when I'm not drinking :|

I think def carrying cash makes life alot easier and less akward when it comes to these situations...

[rach3975]

Yeah, it's ridiculous to expect people whose meals cost much less to split things evenly. I've ended up in that situation before during times when I deliberately chose inexpensive items to keep my share of the cost down. Generally I'd rather pay for my plate than split things evenly, but unless the cost is really high I've just gone along with whatever the group wanted for tax and tip.

[CA Dreamer]

SInce you know how these gals are, I would let the waiter know when ordering that you want separate checks. Otherwise, you can be quick on the draw and have cash ready that would cover your part and tip and say something like, "Thank goodness I stopped at the bank ahead on my way over, this should cover my order" and leave it at that.

[SeattleSheri]

That's tough, especially when you're with people that clearly aren't paying attention. The only suggestion I have is to say, I'll put in XX and you two can split the difference since I only ordered something small (I guess it depends on how well you know your friends). Next time you go out with them, just tell them up front before you order that you're planning on getting a separate check or that you're on a budget. I do a monthly dinner club with friends and we are all really good about making sure people that order less pay less. If we all order about the same thing, give or take $5, we usually just split it and people that had something slightly more expensive might contribute more to the tip.

[MamaBee]

when I was working, we went out for lunch a lot and always had one check... if one didn't have cash - the other's paid their share (plus tip) to that person, and then that person wrote a check/or paid with CC. We never split it equality - it was what you ordered, is what you paid... now the waiter usually got a huge tip out of it with everyone giving money toward a tip...

[pewtertm]

I'm always on a budget so I just pay my share...I have friends who'll think nothing of dropping 20-30 bucks on a meal when I stick with the cheapest 8 dollar meal...so no 'splitting' for me. I pay my portion, and my portion of the tip. I don't think it's fair to ask someone to cover your extra costs...if you want a pricier option, then pay for it yourself.

[LoriJ]

I agree with the others about asking for a seperate cheque, that way there is no worries about who pays what!

[Nettio]

We always do separate checks, even for military spouse events where it ends up being like 10+ checks and it's never an issue.

But if that's not an option, then I think it's up to you to be an advocate for your own meal. I know when I've gone out with friends, I'm not sitting there mentally calculating whether I ordered more or less than someone else and especially if they we're both ordering drinks and sharing meals, they probably figured it was just easier to split. Most people avoid doing math when they can, haha - I doubt they're purposely trying to get you to pay for their meal.

If you're the one on a budget, I'd say the best thing you can do is to a) make sure you bring cash and b) be proactive about asking to see the bill and offer to calculate what everyone owes. Most people are grateful not to have to figure it all out plus you avoid the whole awkward let's not split it convo after they've suggested it. Just make sure you pay enough for tax and tip. If they're your friends it shouldn't be a big deal.

[Sweeet]

Originally Posted by FlirtatiousBrat

I'd have asked for a sep check when ordering so that situation doesn't happen. If however they couldn't/wouldn't I'd probably just lay down a certain amount of cash to cover it and said friends could put it toward the bill or pocket it and pay the bill on their own.

If I was going out with friends, I'd make sure and take a set amount of cash and pay according to what I ordered...Heres my 18 bucks to cover my dinner and tax/tip...(etc) It's one thing to pay a couple of extra bucks but it's not fair to pay for plates and drinks you didn't order if the amount is ridiculous.

Ditto on my thoughts exactly.

[SweetMelissa]

I do separate checks. If for some reason we can't get separate checks when the bill comes I'll ask or look to see how much mine was and put my cash down. But my friends and I have all long ago agreed (back in high school) that if we go out we do separate bills.

[4noisyboys]

This is the reason I always have cash for these situations. I'll make sure I have small bills too to leave a tip. I have a friend who NEVER seems to have cash and then tells me she'll pay me back (never happens), so I give her my portion in cash now and tell her to pay the bill. If her card won't work...oh well! Not my problem!

[kim21673]

Yikes!!! I eat out with friends a lot but this has never happened. We pay for what we buy...nothing more. There are times when we do get one check but we each figure out what our own meal costs, what our drinks cost....add the tip and we are done. But there are lots of times that we ask for separate checks too...that way there is no confusion of what we owe. We will all figure out what each of us owes.....it's never been an issue!!

Good luck!!!

[YepBrook]

That happened to me at a dinner out with co-workers & the store manager at the Cheesecake Factory. I was the only one who didn't order an appetizer, multiple drinks, etc. I even ordered water and a modest sandwich compared to my co-workers entree's, cheesecake and bar drinks because I was on a tight budget. Turns out, they all had some inside info from another employee that the manager would be paying for the meal and were being hogs as a result. LOL! BUT when the check came it was way over what the manager was willing to pay for. She put $150 towards the bill and said we could all SPLIT the remainder!!!!! I ended up paying $25 for a $8 sandwich and glass of water. I felt completely robbed. Still irks me to this day. Now I always ask for a separate check or I bring plenty of cask to cover my cost.

[Sherri Tierney]

I don't go out with friends that often. We used to do it a lot more and we'd pick up the check one time and they'd get it another time. We always ordered about the same thing when we went so it really didn't matter much in the long run. This was with a couple of our 'couples' friends. With some of our other friends we'd just get separate checks and all pitch in on the tip. On the rare occasion that I go out with a girlfriend I usually pick up the check. If it were a regular occurrence though, I would have to set some sort of 'rules' in the beginning because I know I can't afford to treat everyone every time and I also don't like the idea of paying for more than my share if I'm ordering modestly and they are going all out.

[Jengerbread88]

We typically take separate cheques. Sometimes, if we are splitting certain foods equally (i.e., an appetizer, or dessert), we'll split it like this:

-I pay for my meal, plus appetizer to share.
-Friend #1 pays for her meal, plus dessert to share.
-Friend #2 pays for her meal, plus tip.

We're all then kind of on the same page about who is going to be responsible for what when we get there, and then each of us orders our own drinks (we've already discussed this-- I don't drink, so I'm not going to pay for anyone's alcohol. I pay for my sweet tea/strawberry lemonade/cappuccino, or if I'm feeling broke, I order water. My friend who drinks is welcome to order whatever drinks she wants because, well, they go on HER bill, not mine). And it's nice, because the foods we DO share, we're not worrying about saying "Oh, you owe me $2 for dessert." "Yeah, and then you owe me $1.50 for the appetizer..." etc.

However, if you're just getting one plate and water, then you should just pay for one plate and water, and you should tell them that. The one occasion where we didn't split the cheque, I had ordered something small, as had one of my friends, and the other one decided to go all-out. Because of it, I said when we split it, I'm only paying $10 (my meal was like, $8.50 or something, so that would more than cover tax) and the other girl also said she would be responsible for $10 (hers was like... $9, I think), leaving our friend who ordered a lot with the rest of the cheque. We paid for our fair share of the tax between the two of us, and it didn't bother me that my other friend paid less tax than I did because we both just rounded up. No big deal, and it was like, a couple bucks difference...

But yeah, I try to always ensure I get a separate cheque.

[LJSDesigns]

With my best friend, we take turns with the bill and if we forget whose turn it is, then it's not biggie one of us just grabs it. With other people I always ask for a separate checks because I am terrible about carrying cash.

We used to order in food a lot at work and it was always a hassle getting everyone to pay their fair share and contribute to the tip, we have a couple of cheapoo in the office, so it got to the point where one of us just had to call them on it and ask that they contribute fairly or order on their own. That worked. Now that I am dieting I am not part of that any longer and really glad for it. Not only do I save a lot of money, but I save a lot of hassle too. When they are all trying to figure out who owes what, I am happily eating my salad.

[jessica31876]

Hmm well we do not go out to eat with a lot of different people but in the past either the person we went out with insisted on paying or we would say we would pay the whole bill. I would not have an issue if someone said seperate checks please. I guess my thought was if someone invited us out they owould pick up hte bill and if we invited them out we would pick up the bill. But we are usually talking about two couples and a typical costing meal.

[Sherri Tierney]

That's kind of how it works with us, Jessica. We either go with another couple or I'll go with one friend instead of a group of friends. If I invite, I pick up the tab, if they invite they do. My husband's boss takes us out to breakfast a few times a month (or did before I started working in the mornings) and he always paid. I hated that because I felt like it was our turn but he always refused.

[maryinaz]

This has happened to me more than once. But I've learned my lesson and speak up that I'm not splitting, I'll pay for my share. And even if I don't have cash, I announce how much I'll be putting on my debit card.

But this was a new one for me...just a couple of weeks ago I went out with 4 other friends to a nice Italian restaurant. I ordered a butternut squash ravioli that everyone LOVES (but no one else ordered). There are only 5 large ones for $17 in the portion. But they are very rich and I could only eat 3 and was going to box up the other 2 and take them home. I started to hand my dish to the waiter to get boxed up and 2 of my friends were like "you aren't going to eat those? We'll eat them!" And the waiter handed my dish to them. I was just so shocked, I didn't know what to do. I mean, how awkward for me to say "no!" So they ate 40% of my meal. Ugh. Oh, and one of them boxed up the remainder of her meal since she was full after eating mine.

Live and learn, that's for sure! It's just sad that I have to be so cautious now!

[Sharon Kay]

Originally Posted by FlirtatiousBrat

I'd have asked for a sep check when ordering so that situation doesn't happen. If however they couldn't/wouldn't I'd probably just lay down a certain amount of cash to cover it and said friends could put it toward the bill or pocket it and pay the bill on their own.

If I was going out with friends, I'd make sure and take a set amount of cash and pay according to what I ordered...Heres my 18 bucks to cover my dinner and tax/tip...(etc) It's one thing to pay a couple of extra bucks but it's not fair to pay for plates and drinks you didn't order if the amount is ridiculous.

I will generally do what she said in the first paragraph ... then if they say let's split appetizers ... if you don't want to be part of that bill ... make sure you speak up and tell them you don't want to split that ... you are just ordering what you want to eat tonight.

[jessica31876]

the only exception which I know she hates is I always pay for my daughter's meal when we go out. Even when she and her husband took us all out for my "birthday" I still insisted we pay. I told her with a baby on the way and them just starting out I will just pay period. She gets kinda moody and says but I want to do something for you. I tell her her time spent with me is what she is doing for me.

[origami]

Originally Posted by maryinaz

But this was a new one for me...just a couple of weeks ago I went out with 4 other friends to a nice Italian restaurant. I ordered a butternut squash ravioli that everyone LOVES (but no one else ordered). There are only 5 large ones for $17 in the portion. But they are very rich and I could only eat 3 and was going to box up the other 2 and take them home. I started to hand my dish to the waiter to get boxed up and 2 of my friends were like "you aren't going to eat those? We'll eat them!" And the waiter handed my dish to them. I was just so shocked, I didn't know what to do. I mean, how awkward for me to say "no!" So they ate 40% of my meal. Ugh. Oh, and one of them boxed up the remainder of her meal since she was full after eating mine.

That's unbelievable! I can't believe that the waiter would actually have handed your plate over to the other diners at the table. Honestly, I might have called the manager the next day about this. Usually if I am at a nice restaurant and I have a considerable portion left on my plate, the wait staff will ask if I need the remainder boxed or if there's something wrong with the meal. For him to just hand your dish over? Without asking you? For many of us these days, eating out is a luxury, and I think your friends were quite presumptuous.

Oh yes, I have a group of friends with whom I regularly eat out, and it's always separate checks. They're old high school friends from way back and have been meeting once a month for years. I just joined in and am so glad that they're so organized. We're all responsible for our own meals and our own tips and our own drinks, etc. Thank goodness!!!

[Sherri Tierney]

Originally Posted by maryinaz

This has happened to me more than once. But I've learned my lesson and speak up that I'm not splitting, I'll pay for my share. And even if I don't have cash, I announce how much I'll be putting on my debit card.

But this was a new one for me...just a couple of weeks ago I went out with 4 other friends to a nice Italian restaurant. I ordered a butternut squash ravioli that everyone LOVES (but no one else ordered). There are only 5 large ones for $17 in the portion. But they are very rich and I could only eat 3 and was going to box up the other 2 and take them home. I started to hand my dish to the waiter to get boxed up and 2 of my friends were like "you aren't going to eat those? We'll eat them!" And the waiter handed my dish to them. I was just so shocked, I didn't know what to do. I mean, how awkward for me to say "no!" So they ate 40% of my meal. Ugh. Oh, and one of them boxed up the remainder of her meal since she was full after eating mine.

Live and learn, that's for sure! It's just sad that I have to be so cautious now!

That would really bug me. I always take food home with me to eat later since I don't eat a lot at once. I'd be fuming because I like my leftovers!

[Sherri Tierney]

Originally Posted by jessica31876

the only exception which I know she hates is I always pay for my daughter's meal when we go out. Even when she and her husband took us all out for my "birthday" I still insisted we pay. I told her with a baby on the way and them just starting out I will just pay period. She gets kinda moody and says but I want to do something for you. I tell her her time spent with me is what she is doing for me.

Tell her its a parent thing. My ILs always insist on paying for our food. My husband has to sneak around and pay the bill before it reaches the table if we want to pay for it. They feel responsible because we're the kids but honestly, their budget is tighter than ours.

When we eat out with my SIL and her family we usually fight over who gets to pay. My DH and SIL's husband are always trying to get to the check first. We have 2 kids, they have 2 kids, we all order about the same in food and drinks so int he end it all works out because we manage to switch back and forth. They both tend to drink more than we do so if they are drinking the pricey stuff then they throw a little extra in now and then.

[d2vasquez]

I loved the suggestions in this thread and can so relate to this. We go often go out at lunch as a work group and I have been pretty good about remembering to carry cash so I don't end up spending more than what my meal share should be.

[NatalieKW]

Oh...I'm one to always add up my cost before ordering, so this would totally irk me. I'd be floored actually. I've never been in this situation, and hope I never am. I love Meg's suggestions though.

[marnel]

Def a great read & wow stories, lol Cash will be in my hand from this day on.... Always gonna tell the waiter myself sep ck for me por favor!!

I def enjoy these girls company & its the first time its been an akward issue since we dont eat out alot & mostly stay in for dinners & bring our own drinks.

Lesson learned & Great advice Thanks