question...is this asking to much?

[jessica31876]

My husband and I are out for the day....he needed to stop for gas and I handed him the money to pay for it plus a few dollars extra. I told him before he stopped that I was really thirsty. He went in and paid for the gas and used all the money I gave him for gas and did not get me anything to drink. He said since I did not say "get me XYZ" he should not have to get me anything to drink. Is it really asking so much especially after telling him I am really thirsty to grab me a drink? If I go in the store to pay for gas or something for myself I almost always get him something whether it be a drink or a candybar or a beef jerky...something and almost always withut him asking me to get it for him. He got an attitude with me saying that if I want something I should go and get it myself or tell him exactly what I want because he cannot read my mind. Maybe I am just extra sensitive today. IDK...it just hurts my feelings that I have to ask him to think about those little things and I do it without him asking me and always have.

[lauren grier]

well.. he's a man- and they communicate differently (in general) and he probably DOES need it spelled out to him. He's not going to assume your wants and needs-- Even WITH telling him you're thirsty ^_^ .. Don't let it get to you.. just ride it out and don't dwell on it. That's what I say.

[Lizzy257]

Originally Posted by lauren grier

well.. he's a man

I think that about sums it up!!

Men are stoooooopid

[Sarah8914]

I love my husband and he is my best friend and so perfect for me.... but I have to spell things out for him, just like everyone else. My most recent hints involve putting trash right at the garage door for him to take out and well, it still hasn't clicked for him! I think it'd have to put it in his seat in the the car for him to get the hint.

[Serendipity]

I wish my husband was more attentive, too, but he isn't so I just assume he has no idea and I explain everything I want to the T, sometimes twice (and sometimes he still does it wrong ><). I was just setting myself up for dissappointment by expecting him to pick up on anything. He can't read my mind (or take hints - nor does he try to).

[neenee]

Originally Posted by lauren grier

well.. he's a man- and they communicate differently (in general) and he probably DOES need it spelled out to him. He's not going to assume your wants and needs-- Even WITH telling him you're thirsty ^_^ .. Don't let it get to you.. just ride it out and don't dwell on it. That's what I say.

Perfectly put La. Men do think so differently. I try to tell my DD this when she gets mad that her boyfriend doesn't text her when he leaves the house.

[nikkiARNGwife]

Men don't think. I am completely convinced that anything you want from them you have to spell out in black and white...verrrryy sllooowwllly

[MamaBee]

Yeah... I get that from my hubby... but usually it's he gets himself something to drink and when I question, "oh, did you want something too? Why didn't you say something?" Apparently saying you are thirsty and clutching the throat coughing isn't enough for them to get it.

[pewtertm]

Yep, have to agree with everyone...men are dense...and they need things spelled out VERRRRY clearly.

[BrattyMeg]

totally know where you are coming from..I used to get upset when my DH coudln't read between the lines..now I'vejust accepted that he's a man and he needs to be told exactly what I need or want in order to get it done lol

[g8rbeckie]

We had to read a book called The Five Love languages. It was really interesting (and easy to read). It talks about the ways different people SHOW and RECEIVE love. As an example, it sounds like you are an "acts of service" person - that you feel loved when your DH does small things for you.

What I took from this book is that its just as important (probably moreso) for me to understand what my DH's style of communicating love is than it is to understand what I like to receive. I wish he was more of a "talker", but he's not, he shows love through acts of service.

The concepts in the book help you remember that your spouse might be showing you love in their own way that you might not be seeing.

having said all of that...DH never could be bothered to read the damn thing, which, in itself really pissed me off and hurt my feelings. So I trapped him on a roadtrip and read it to him. And then made him discuss it with me.

[jessica31876]

I guess so LOL. Just dont think he realizes that sometimes just doing those little things mean alot to me. Shows that he is thinking about me and wants to do something nice for me without me having to ask him to do it. I mean if I ask him to do something specific he will but sometimes its nice to have your husband just do it because he wants to not because you asked him to.

[ColleenSwerb]

Originally Posted by jessica31876

I guess so LOL. Just dont think he realizes that sometimes just doing those little things mean alot to me. Shows that he is thinking about me and wants to do something nice for me without me having to ask him to do it. I mean if I ask him to do something specific he will but sometimes its nice to have your husband just do it because he wants to not because you asked him to.

Sometimes it helps to tell him that you really appreciate it when he does X, Y, Z for you. That plants the seed in his mind, and maybe next time the opportunity arrives for him to do X, Y, or Z, he'll remember and do it. Without you asking.

I've DEFINITELY learned that HOPING he recognizes I need or want something and then expecting him to react to that need or want, is a FAST way to an argument. At least in my house, lol.

That book the 5 love languages, REALLY helped me understand the differences in the ways that people show and receive love. Jordan hated it and we got into a huge argument over the quiz at the back of the book, but regardless, I learned a lot, lol.

[g8rbeckie]

Originally Posted by ColleenSwerb

That book the 5 love languages, REALLY helped me understand the differences in the ways that people show and receive love. Jordan hated it and we got into a huge argument over the quiz at the back of the book, but regardless, I learned a lot, lol.

Ha ha! I was typing when you posted this, LOL!

[joelsgirl]

Originally Posted by ColleenSwerb

Sometimes it helps to tell him that you really appreciate it when he does X, Y, Z for you. That plants the seed in his mind, and maybe next time the opportunity arrives for him to do X, Y, or Z, he'll remember and do it. Without you asking.

I've DEFINITELY learned that HOPING he recognizes I need or want something and then expecting him to react to that need or want, is a FAST way to an argument. At least in my house, lol.

That book the 5 love languages, REALLY helped me understand the differences in the ways that people show and receive love. Jordan hated it and we got into a huge argument over the quiz at the back of the book, but regardless, I learned a lot, lol.

HAHA, we read this book, too, and Joel was pissed because he really tried to do the things that spoke love to me and i was like, Wow, cool book. ; )

[joelsgirl]

Originally Posted by jessica31876

I guess so LOL. Just dont think he realizes that sometimes just doing those little things mean alot to me. Shows that he is thinking about me and wants to do something nice for me without me having to ask him to do it. I mean if I ask him to do something specific he will but sometimes its nice to have your husband just do it because he wants to not because you asked him to.

You should tell him this at a time when you are not angry, he's not trying to watch TV, just in a normal voice say, You know, when you do little things for me it makes me feel like you love me. Then give him an example. Help him love you.

[Sharon Kay]

Originally Posted by nikkiARNGwife

Men don't think. I am completely convinced that anything you want from them you have to spell out in black and white...verrrryy sllooowwllly

agreeing with the above...coming from a woman who has been married for 26 years (as of May) ... SPELL IT OUT and slowly... I still occasionally forget and say "I am really thirsty" ... and thus go without a drink.