So tell me again when this gets easier...

[wvasweetness]

This is week #4 of DH working out of town (Sunday - Friday), and I had thought (hoped) that it would be getting a little easier by now.

It *has* gotten a bit easier for me... for the first 2 weeks I was exhausted, but am feeling a little better now. And since Wes goes to sleep at 7:30 I still get some time to myself... although, those are the times I find myself missing DH the most.

BUT, Wes doesn't seem to be warming up to Daddy being gone so much. He does act out at certain times, but for the most part he seems to be mad at Daddy for being gone. He refuses to talk to him on the phone or on Skype, and will start to throw a fit if I talk about Daddy to him, like "tonight we will have to tell Daddy on the phone what a good boy you were today" or "why don't you tell Daddy about music class", etc.

I have found that if I don't mention Daddy much at all and don't suggest that he talks to him on the phone/computer, Wes does fine. I've also realized that being at home triggers more acting out then being away from the house - I guess b/c that's where Daddy usually is?

I did make a little chart for Wes (I called it the "Daddy Calendar") that has the days of the week (he's very into what day it is anyway) and we have a little magnet that we move to each day... that way he can visualize how many days are left before Daddy comes home. But he now refuses to look at it and crosses his arms and starts stomping if I suggest that we see what day it is on the Daddy Calendar.

Two nights ago when I tucked him in for bed, right as I was walking out of his room he said in a low voice "I want my Dad." I got so teary eyed and went over and hugged and hugged him in the dark and told him that I missed Daddy too and that he would be home very soon to have fun with us. He then said "Can I have his blankey to sleep with?" It was so sweet, but also broke my heart. So now Wes sleeps with a full size quilt in his bed.

I know that Wes has done really well for a 2.5 year old adjusting to a big change. It's just... hard. Any suggestions for things I should (and shouldn't) be saying/doing? For example, I thought that talking about Daddy a lot was a good idea, but it has turned out to be the opposite!

[lauren grier]

honestly........ i'd just go with the flow. every kid is going to act differently-- you seem to already see what's helping, not pounding it into his head etc .. letting him have the blankie. You're doing all the right things.. you just have to take it day by day :] I know that's easier said than done... lol believe you me.. but it will get better- he's young so it will just be a little slower :]

[Kat Stokes]

{{{HUGS DEANNA!!!}}} Time will make it easier. My DH works 48 hour shifts as a firefighter every week - plus usually an extra OT shift or two a week. My 2yo always asks for him when he's gone but when he's home he's all over me. I have learned to not push DS and you seem to be doing everything right.

[Milmomma]

I don't know that it does get easier. You just learn different coping mechniasisms. My kids don't see their father as often as I like. I don't make them talk to him if they don't want to.

[HeatherKS]

He will probably adjust better as he gets a little older. My dh travels a lot for work - some weeks only 2 nights away, but a lot of weeks it's 3-4 nights away. Our girls are used to it now and grasp the concept of time well enough to understand when I say daddy will be back in two more nights or whatever. Our 2.5 year old on the other hand, doesn't understand time yet so saying to him that he only has two more nights before daddy gets home is like greek to him. The first night is usually pretty rough because he wants daddy, nights 2 and 3 are pretty okay and the 4th night is usually rough too because he's really missing him. He is a good sleeper but I have noticed that he wakes more on the nights that daddy is gone, almost like he senses it and wakes.

On the weeks he's gone for more than a night or two, I try to do something special for the kids to break up our routine. Often it's taking them out to eat before church on Wednesday night or taking them to the park after school. Nothing big but enough to ease that mid-week strain on all of us.

Hang in there. It sounds like you're reading ds's cues and things will get a little easier as time goes on. *hugs*

[Balinda]

all the advice I was gonna give has already been given and it sounds like you are doing a great job already with him. More than anything he is probably confused about why Daddy is gone, eventhough I am sure you and ur hubby have probably tried to make this as easy and understandable as possible. Plus being 2 is a tough age for alot of toddlers.
Hang in there, I am sure it will get better as time goes on.