Cue Music: This Is Why I'm Hawt...

[LeeAndra]

[BTW, I hate that song. But it makes for a cute title, doesn't it?]

[BTW, Jeff and I have started using online acronyms like real words in conversation with each other i.e. 'B-T-W, dinner is almost ready.' His favorite is 'W-T-F?' when something goes amiss. Is this normal? Does anyone else do this, too?!]

Oh yeah, so last night driving home from work, I get a carful of guys hollerin' at me, in some old Honda or Toyota sedan, in teeshirts and jeans so obviously not guys who were at work all day or otherwise productive members of society. Hoh boy. Of course, my windows are down and theirs are, too, and then we get caught at a light next to each other, so I have to pretend that I can't hear them and fiddle with my cell phone until the light changes.

Seriously, this never happens, but when it does... why can't it be hot upstanding citizens?! *lol* I wouldn't mind flirting with some guy in a suit 'n' tie at a stoplight, but noooooo... I get a bunch of punks whose best line is 'Heyyyyyyyyyyy!' followed by the bass beat of their sound system.

I recognize that I've got junk in the trunk and some fine lady lumps which sometimes attracts a certain kind of guy, but still... it is annoying. At least put some effort into it! Be creative! Make me smile awkwardly in your direction! Make me squirm under your gaze for a second before I think of an excuse to get you to leave me alone!

Share your awful tried-to-pick-up lines & stories here, please!

[SamaraGugler]

LMAO!!!!

One of my 6th grade students got caught flirting with a "Hawt Chick" standing on the corner while he was on the bus. You ask, how did he get caught? He wrote his number on a piece of paper with a CRAYON, wrapped it around the crayon, then threw it out of the bus. You bet I teased him. I said, in the future when you see HOT CHICK while you are on the bus, don't throw a crayon at her!!!

[meems]

bwahahaha . . . fine lady lumps . . . (i really should pay more attn to song lyrics)

[junebug]

haha! I have a little story for you. But it's more "Ewwwww!" than funny i think. Back when i was 18, and right out of high school i had a job at a video rental store. It was just a local store, not a big chain. They did have an adult section. well, it was almost closing time and this gross looking dude came in and went straight back there, was in there forever and came out with a few 'choices'. He then asked me while i was ringing him up how old I was. I told him. Then he asked me if i'd like to WATCH THE MOVIE WITH HIM!! >>Insert gag here<< I kindly said 'No, thanks' and thank God he left immediately. Yuck. He was so nasty, lol!!

[Becca Bonneville]

LOL! All of these stories are cracking me up! LOL!!

[Kat Stokes]

LMAO!!! You guys are killing me here.... I did have a guy actually ask me out about a year after I got married but he was pretty hot and worked for the Railroad. Of course, I said NO!!!! Nothing more unusual than that....

[crecia27]

you are too funny! Love the new avatar!!

I used to work for a small company - one afternoon I was in the copy room down on my knees filling the copy machine with paper - the UPS guy walks in and say "wow, just like I like 'em" yeah - I was SUPER impressed. He tried to make it up to me by brining me a beany baby teddybear later that week.

[lauren grier]

lmao you totally just cracked me up There are some narly guys that are ALWAYS just standing around in their front lawn on the way to my market (I walk). I can't tell you how many times I've gotten a "hey baby" ..ugh puke!