A letter...

[AnnieBananie]

Dear people buying my stuff off of Craigslist:
I understand that your love of shysting has really done a number to your overall brain power, but let's get a few things straight.

"Pick-Up Only"... is Latin for "You come here, pay me money, PICK the item UP, place it in your vehicle, and desist in rotting my brain with your airborne stupidity".

I can see how you might confuse that for the French term "I'll deliver it" which translates roughly into "I'm a moron, let me waste the money I'm charging you for this item on gasoline. Monkey."

Or the Russian "Meetchu" which means about the same as the French term detailed above, but to a slightly lesser degree.

Let me take this opportunity to shed light on another term that gets lost in translation. Cash.

Cash comes from cassa in Italian (and casse in French) which basically means "Money Box"... not "Broken Lamp" or "Mismatched Socks" or "Used Tissues" or even "DVD of suspicious origin" And as tempting as those offers are... your crap ≥ my crap (don't judge my nerdy math symbol fools).

And lastly, directions. Don't ask for them and then say "Oh nevermind, I'll just put it into my GPS". I know it sounds confusing when I say "Take road A to Road B-South, Exit on Road C, and Turn on Road D. 2nd house on the left", but it's not. If you push the stupid thoughts out of your brain, you can fit these directions in long enough to copy them to paper.

Thank you very much for buying my junk.
-Annie

*sigh* Sometimes I wonder about the fate of humanity.

What are your letters you'd like to write?


*sulks off back into packing-tape-land*