Could Use some Happy Thoughts :(

[nun69]

if you have some to spare today
just got the call from school that Peyton is on his way to his "buddy" room (again) for not listening this makes day 14 (out of 15) that he has either come home with a note for not behaving/following directions at school or me having to go get him from school....so tired and exhausted and I know he is too....please send some happy thoughts for little dude to get through this....I just want him to have 1 good day to see how good it feels

[LJSDesigns]

Aw Angie, a ton of happy thoughts coming your way. For Peyton too. Poor little guy.

[tanyiadeskins]

aww, poor kid. That has to be tough on him as well as you.

[joelsgirl]

Dude. You have to GO GET HIM from school because he's not following directions?? That's bunk. I hope he has a better week next week.

[k23m]

I dont really know anything about his situation, but I sure hope he can have some awesome days at school...otherwise he is going to learn to hate it there, and that wont be any good at all....poor dude.

[Sherri Tierney]

Aww... so sorry he is having troubles. School isn't always easy. I'm sure the teachers and staff appreciate your involvement in this. He will get through it!

The buddy room sounds like it might be the same kind of room I run at school. We call ours the 'choice room' (since they go there when they make a bad choice). I've had kids who have a few rough weeks and then things click and they do great. It's hard on kids, parents and teachers alike.

[Nikki Epperson]

I hope he has a better week next week!!!

[heathergw]

Is this normal for him, meaning has he had trouble in the past following directions or misbehaving? Has he been tested for ADHD? If not, have you considered it? I totally recommend reading Driven To Distraction to see if you might see something else... because if it is ADHD, it's not his fault so punishment isn't going to work because he might not realize he's making sad choices

[rach3975]

I'm sorry he's still having such a hard time adjusting! I hope things get better soon. The bad weeks are so hard on everyone.

[SeattleSheri]

I'm so sorry Angie. Thomas had the same problem the first week of school (he started 1st grade in a new school). His teacher recommended that we offer him an incentive to behave, wherein he would earn time with us doing a fun activity if he came home with no disruptive behavior. So, we told him that for every day he came home with no strikes, we'd play ping pong with him. Believe it or not, it worked and we've had two weeks where he's earned zero strikes (compared to the previous week where he had 6). He wasn't able to articulate what the circumstances of the strikes were, but the teacher worked with us quickly with very good results. We are very appreciative of her supplemental discipline. The teacher's intervention and insight has made a huge difference. His teacher last year had a very difficult time controlling her class and would get very irritated with the students, as a result. I was just talking to a colleague about this topic today. His 5 year old has a similar problem and the principal has already threatened to expel him. Anyway, good luck and big hugs! I know it's hard!

[nun69]

Heather, this is actually not uncommon for him, but it is just so consistent at school. Thanks for the advice on the book, I will have to pick it up. The prinicipal deosn't know if he has ADHD or is just a very young and just not ready socially for kindergarten. So they want to see if some of his behavior is just due to it all being a new enviroment and him adjusting, so we are gonna wait a few weeks and be very consistent with him. And yes Sheri, he does have some incentives, so we are still working at it. The girl he has to go talk to in the office when he makes a bad choice and doesn't want to talk to the teacher, Tracy, actually says even though he has to come see her, there are a few things she has seen him improve with like not actually crying and yelling hysterically cause he has to go to his "buddy" room. Thanks so much girsl, I appreciate you guys so much

[carriesmom]

Sounds like some of the struggles my oldest was having. She started kindergarten back at the beginning of August. She turned 5 during the first full week of school. So she is one of the youngest in her class. She has always gone to daycare and participated in preschool last year. She is very bright academically. The teacher said at conferences that she is just so young so it may take her more time to adjust. Then last week we got some really negative notes, so implemented a sitcker/chore chart at home. This week, she got all positive marks. So it sounds like he is adjusting and I am sure he will hit his stride in no time!

[nun69]

and Liz he turned 5 July 20th, so he is totally one of the youngest in his class!

[carriesmom]

Originally Posted by nun69

and Liz he turned 5 July 20th, so he is totally one of the youngest in his class!

Totally my daughter. I promise it gets better. It is a maturity thing and I just need to remember that most of the other kids in her class are 5 going on 6 not 4 going on 5. Which is funny because in soccer she is one of the oldest in her group.

[Sherri Tierney]

The fact that the person in the buddy room is seeing progress should help to reassure you. I've had some kids who when first brought in to me will scream, cry, kick, throw stuff, etc. They have to be physically detained. Seeing those same kids come in sniffling or grumpy rather than acting out like before is encouraging. It definitely takes time for some kids. One of the little ones I had visit me was so upset and couldn't understand why he keeps getting in trouble. I told him that it takes time for us to learn to control our emotions, to stop and think about what we should do, and to make the right choice. We all have to learn to do this and for some it comes easy and for others it takes time, and making mistakes. He seemed to accept that. He came and hugged me a few days later and said that he thought he made some good choices.

It does sound like a maturity thing. It is hard for little ones. Heck, my son was 5.5 when he started kindergarten and still struggled with maturity. We told him for every week that he was good all week he'd get to sit in his dad's place at the dinner table. That was his 'big' incentive. It really made him want to do well. Then I found this bright red plate that says You Are Special Today and he got to use it while sitting at daddy's place. That made it even more cool. He likes that attention from the family.

He's in 1st this year and we have a quarter jar. Every Friday I put 20 quarters in a mason jar for each of the kids. I sit an empty mason jar between their jars. They lose quarters for not doing chores or misbehaving. If they get in trouble at school they also lose quarters. On Friday, before I refill their jar with new quarters I give them any left in the jar. It is working out pretty well. My son saved up for 2 weeks to get enough money to buy an Angry Birds PC game. LOL

[nun69]

Originally Posted by Sherri Tierney

Every Friday I put 20 quarters in a mason jar for each of the kids. I sit an empty mason jar between their jars. They lose quarters for not doing chores or misbehaving. If they get in trouble at school they also lose quarters. On Friday, before I refill their jar with new quarters I give them any left in the jar. It is working out pretty well. My son saved up for 2 weeks to get enough money to buy an Angry Birds PC game. LOL

seriously I ♥ this idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[neenee]

Awww Angie...I don't have any advice. I have struggled with a child who didn't like school. Still doesn't and she is 15 but she goes without issue now. LOL She was constantly complaining she didn't feel well and going to the nurse. Sigh. I was so glad when it stopped but it was not until 2nd grade!

I am sending you hugs though because I know how hard it is as a Mommy to think your baby is unhappy. Bless your heart babe. And Peyton's. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

[color of my heart]

poor kiddo (and mom too). i've got my fingers crossed that you figure something out. either with the school, or at home as a reward or both.

as far as advice goes, i know my nephew did kindergarten twice because he wasn't mature enough the first time, and had to be pulled out of school halfway through the year for emotional safety (that's what the counselor said, i guess. it was 12 years ago, so i can't remember the specifics). sometimes kids just aren't ready. i hope that's the problem, and it's not a problem with the teacher or the class.

[Ginger_79]

Sorry to hear that Angie. I'm not very familiar with the American system. Do you guys have a Kindergarten for the small kids (here it's mostly from 3-6 and 100% voluntary and then primary school starting at age 6). I know from my aunt, who is a primary school teacher, that kids who start school without having been in Kindergarten at all, can have a hard time adjusting to school.

So if he's never been to any kind of institution before, he may just need some time.

[d2vasquez]

I just saw your layout and then this thread. I am sorry that you are going through this but see that there are some great suggestions and lots of hugs for you here. Life would be so simple if there was no drama or angst from our kids but when I think some of these moments have helped me be a better mother and person when it was done. I just know in the moment, I didn't feel too reassured that I was doing the right thing. Luckily we have these kind of threads to reassure us. Good luck to you and your son!