Names & How They're Not Other People's Business

[LeeAndra]

I posted this on Facebook today:

Woman: What's your name?
E: Eliana.
W: Wow! You are the first Eliana I have ever met!
Me: Yeah, we get that a lot.
W: What's his name?
E: Nathan.
W: Nathan?! You named her Eliana but named him Nathan. What's up with that?!
Me: Well...
W: I just can't believe it! That's crazy!

Seriously?! In front of my kids? And when I am abt to spend money at your business?!

#openmouthinsertfoot #rude #justwalkedaway #mymamataughtmebetter

Have you dealt with this, too?! Or people commenting on the genders of your kids? Please share my frustration with me!

[scrap2day]

Wowza! I'm sitting here with my mouth open.

You wonder if people think later about what they have said. Hopefully it was just a #humanmoment and going forward will try to do better.

Not that it matters what my opinion is, but Eliana and Nathan are both nice names.

[Valgal]

WTF? That's realllllly weird. People have always made comments about Eden's name because it's unusual, but have never compared it to her brother's, which is commonplace (John) and if they did I might have a few words for them.

#noneofyourbusiness

[abm234]

I get that with my kids all the time too! 2 girls with a common name and a boy with a unique name.

[nietis]

WHAT?! I love both of those names, LA!
If they want to talk about weird, they should come to China... haha... Some people really are brainless when they talk!

[ashaw]

Pretty rude! I get that because my girl's have gender neutral names, Darian & Devan. But more than that is my favorite "how did you learn to do their hair?" .... (my girls are biracial and I have super seriously curly hair myself) ummmmmm ???? How did you learn to do your child hair?! That one annoys me more than the name comments.

[joelsgirl]

Super rude!
The funny thing about names is that even when they sound odd at first (and I'm not saying Eliana's name is odd; it's really beautiful), soon they just feel normal. My brother named my niece "Collins", and sure, at first it sounded like a last name, but now it just feels like my niece and I can't imagine her with a different name.
And also, IT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS WHAT YOU NAME YOUR KIDS.

Our boys are Jack & Max, and then our daughter is Ariana, which no one even knew how to pronounce till Ariana Grande because famous, and I always feel the need to tell people that we did NOT name our daughter after her.

[Kitartas]

I get this: what are their names?... Evie and Daisy.... oh Daisy is such a pretty name.....

Evie is standing right there


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[JennNtheBoys]

Both of those names are wonderful (and both are very common in these parts).

I got a LOT of comments when my first son was born as his name was very rare to be heard 14 years ago (Xavier).... I remember back when he was in grade primary and his music teacher used to play an alphabet game at the beginning of the year to help her learn the students names. She would have all the kids stand and she would say a letter and the kids would sit as their letter was called and they'd say their names.... well by the time she was done my son was still standing, she said to my son in front of everyone "honey it's ok, not all kids know the alphabet when they start school" his response "no, you just forgot the alphabet because you skipped the X".... she was stunned and said "oh...... well you're the first X I have ever met." Oh to be a fly on the wall that day!! My kids are smart asses, but it's amusing to see them use it properly but only when it is necessary to do so. We moved a year later so no longer had to deal with her, but ironically 7 years later she became my BFF's Mother in law so I still have to deal with her from time to time, and we always make it a point to ask her how many X's she knows now....lol

[MamaBee]

I'm one that is always curious on how people select the names for their kids... probably because hubby put his foot down that our son's name had to be short and easy to spell... but I don't ask strangers about it! *eye roll* I was even nervous to ask our really good friends how they came upon Margaret Eliane for their youngest... their oldest daughter picked the name, based off the Daniel the Tiger show. I love the stories that they are named after someone in the family or it's a favorite book character.

[tjscraps]

People's comments suck! We have a Kaitlyn, and a Kenzie. Just Kenzie - everyone assumes it's Mackenzie and it's her nickname, but we picked just Kenzie because we like it. We've already had random people tell us we should have not named her a nickname (she's 7 weeks old)

[Sasha]

Oh I get this all the time...

My oldest daughter is Desanae (Desirae - changed the R to N) = rare
My second oldest daughter is Idalis (got it from the girl on MTV Odalis 20 yrs ago and changed the O to an I) = rare somewhat
My third daughter is Emilee (named after husband's nana that passed when we found out we were pregnant) = common different spelling
and my son is Lorenzo = common Italian name...just because I've always loved that name

so how did I go from rare names to common...who cares!!! Lol


ETA: I work with newborns everyday and I hear all kinds of names...I never ask why they would name their kid such and such!!

[LeeAndra]

Rebecca, the funny thing is that I very purposely chose those specific names for my children but I knew it would just go right over her head.

'Eliana Clare' means 'God has clearly spoken' or 'God has clearly answered our prayers' as she was an unplanned pregnancy and the reason we moved up our wedding date + I always always always wanted a daughter and as the first daughter of a first daughter of a first daughter I really wanted a daughter to be my first child.

'Nathan Joel' means 'God has given & God is his God' which is a very similar meaning to Eliana's name as I believe all children are gifts and specially chosen for whomever their parents are. His name is super Biblical as all of the boys on DH's side of the family have super Biblical/common names & with him being the last baby I wanted him to be part of the tradition, too.

Both children also have one syllable middle names since my husband, my stepson, & I all have one syllable middle names and that is our way to 'belong' together.

So you can see why I found it so offensive that she implied that I didn't give any thought to my children's names!

[nietis]

Wow, La! Both names have beautiful meanings!


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[ashaw]

Originally Posted by JennNtheBoys

Both of those names are wonderful (and both are very common in these parts).

I got a LOT of comments when my first son was born as his name was very rare to be heard 14 years ago (Xavier).... I remember back when he was in grade primary and his music teacher used to play an alphabet game at the beginning of the year to help her learn the students names. She would have all the kids stand and she would say a letter and the kids would sit as their letter was called and they'd say their names.... well by the time she was done my son was still standing, she said to my son in front of everyone "honey it's ok, not all kids know the alphabet when they start school" his response "no, you just forgot the alphabet because you skipped the X".... she was stunned and said "oh...... well you're the first X I have ever met." Oh to be a fly on the wall that day!! My kids are smart asses, but it's amusing to see them use it properly but only when it is necessary to do so. We moved a year later so no longer had to deal with her, but ironically 7 years later she became my BFF's Mother in law so I still have to deal with her from time to time, and we always make it a point to ask her how many X's she knows now....lol

We have an Xavier, he's 18. People always pronounce it Zavier ... drives me nuts!!

[KingsQueen82]

I personally love the name Nathan. I've only ever met 3 in my life and they were all the softest, sweetest guys ever. One even won my heart for good. (It's my husband's name!) <3 Ps. Eliana is especially beautiful too!

[rach3975]

I think they're both great names!

We've been lucky with random comments from strangers--maybe it's because we've always lived on the East Coast (New England and the Washington, DC area) and people here are known for being a little more reserved. When we travel to the Midwest or the South and suddenly people in stores are trying to make conversation and share their opinions, it always throws us! Of course, making comments like that is rude no matter where you live.

[anelia]

WHAT? I just can't believe that!!! I've never heard a comment about someone's name, no matter how weird or unusual it is. And I thought people here were rude!
So sorry about what happened...it's really none of their business.

[Scrap-therapy]

So angry to read this!

I love both of your children names!
Here's in France Eliana is not so rare name (I know 2 little cute girls named Eliana! and One Eline) and just so beautiful and Nathan is more common name too but I love it too. My little cousin's name!

My twins have Basque name very common in Basque country but totally unusual in the rest of France so I have tons of stupid question or comment... Like "do you invent it?" or "oh it's not a gift for them...."
And of course people not try to pronounce it correctly which drive me nuts, I understand you can't know how it pronounce but once you tell it, it's not difficult to repeat correctly...

Well I don't care anymore, for me my children have precious name that I love and have a meaning: my girl name mean "desired" and my boy's name mean "little wood".

I'm shock that Xavier trouble some people too! Here's it is a super common name and very beautiful too!

I have an American name and have to justify very often and spelling it too...

Well I suppose that people always need to do stupid comments!

But what shock me more is people telling this in front of the children!!!! Like saying stupid things on their physic too and so on...

Keep calm you know why you name your children like this!

Lot's of love to your family and all the children with beautiful names here!

[Scrap-therapy]

Originally Posted by nietis

WHAT?! I love both of those names, LA!
If they want to talk about weird, they should come to China... haha... Some people really are brainless when they talk!

Love Chinese names, I discover some with being with a group of adorable Chinese person and as we talk about our kids I learn lot I didn't know and find it really cute and meaningful too!

[icindi]

That was pretty rude! And I love the meaning of your kids' names!

I thought people were more accepting of unusual names these days. When I was a kid I heard all the time that my name couldn't be Cindi, it had to be Cynthia. Nope, Cindi is on my birth certificate. Teachers always tried to correct me, as if I didn't know my "real" name.

We hear more comments about how close our kids are in age - 4 boys age 16 to almost 20. And when they find out 2 are 17 they always ask if they're twins. Which is humorous because one was adopted and they look nothing alike: One is super thin and short and blond and the other is 6'2" and dark and not as thin. No, not twins, LOL!

[abm234]

Funny timing that you just posted this and I commented that it happens to me often. And then it happened to me today!

I was talking to somebody over the phone working on scheduling our vacation. I told her my son's name and she said she needed his full name. I told her twice it was his full name. She states "No, I need his full God given name. The name that appears on his passport or travel documents." I told her for the third time that was his full name. She finally got it and just said "huh".

[lorryfach]

My kids have Danish names and we live in Denmark, so it's usually not an issue unless we go somewhere else. I have had people try to educate me about their names, because they assume I can't possibly know about the names of my own children. Yeah, I'm aware I have an accent and you can tell I'm not Danish, but I didn't pull these names out of a hat. My Danish husband and I discussed them first, shockingly! Outside Denmark, people tend to just accept that the names are foreign and so it's okay that they're 'weird', but I have occasionally gotten some rude comments from Americans, including someone trying to tell me I gave me daughter a boy's name. It is literally illegal to name a boy her name in Denmark (strict naming laws here) and I've never heard of any boy anywhere in the world with her name. I even googled it after. lol It's a very common name in some parts of the world… always for girls.

Originally Posted by icindi

Which is humorous because one was adopted and they look nothing alike: One is super thin and short and blond and the other is 6'2" and dark and not as thin. No, not twins, LOL!

I don't see how that's humorous, to be honest. I'd ask that if someone had two kids the same age. Fraternal twins are more common than identical, and I'd never assume they have to look alike to be twins. I know someone with twins where one looks black and one looks white, but they are still twins. (She gets understandably upset when people assume they are adopted!) Not to mention my husband has a twin sister; they obviously don't look alike.

[chinagrrl]

not a name comment, but still rude nonetheless...

my two boys are 1½ years apart, so when i was pregnant with my younger son, my older son was still a "baby". we were at the store and an old woman noticed my husband holding my son who was being squirmy, and she said to me "and you're pregnant again already??!! well, what can you do? what's done is done." wow, seriously?

i was so stunned i couldn't think of anything to say back.

i don't understand why some people think it's acceptable to say rude things to pregnant women, and why some old people use being old as an excuse to be rude.

[zinzilah]

I guess I have thick skin, thanking my mother for that (not really thanking) as she used to give me offensive nicknames as a child, saying that if I get used to that, then people at school or in the yard would never be able to hurt me (surprisingly, they never tried)... and then I married a man who was known in his younger years as Mr. Tact for absence of such... so it is fun here without even walking out of the door. But about the names, we have two daughters that have Russian double barrelled names (a nod to their heritage) which translated very nicely into English when we lived in Oxfordshire (both of them born in UK) and then we moved into Switzerland, and my youngest Mila turned out to have a "meaninful" name in Italian, it means "thousands" so I get a lot of whys and hows, well, I didn't plan for all eventualities, alright? Our kindergarten teacher said: well, it's not the worst name we had, we had a Satan once, the same year as Jesus... (Insert a stupefied emoticon) And the oldest gets an extra letter, as locals spell her name in German and sh is spelt sch but it's one of those things, I am sure if they move into a different country with a different alphabet or something it's going to be even more awkward, but c'e la vie. I worked with people from different countries as I was an interpreter, and there would always be names that sound "funny" or different in "your" language, but as a grown up you know the world is big, and hopefully you can accept more than just a narrow little view from your bathroom window... I think my name is simple: Olga, but even though I spell it for the people in Starbucks they still haven't got it right. LOL

[JennNtheBoys]

Originally Posted by ashaw

We have an Xavier, he's 18. People always pronounce it Zavier ... drives me nuts!!

Yes!!! He hears lots of different pronunciations too. He ended up with the NicName Zay (even though the full name is pronounced with the X) because there was really no other Nicname to be given.

[lovely1m]

I have an odd name, while I hate having it mispronounced or misspelled, I don't think twice about people commenting on it. My brother also has a super normal, common name. People often have different styles that they like for boys and girls names. I wouldn't think anything of that comment, I don't think she was implying that you didn't put thought into your names, just that often people use unusual or common names for all their kids. I personally used a common name for my son cause I hated dealing with an uncommon name as a child, but to each their own. That being said, Eliana is not a common name, but it's easily said and spelled and I have heard it a couple of times. I wouldn't think twice of it paired with Nathan.

[britaneejean]

I've got a Rian (girl, pronounced like Ryan), Lola, & Oliver & i've gotten a comment or 2 about the lack of uniqueness with my kids names. That's just crazy. People always comment on "Utah names" because they have to be so unique though i've seen more unique names outside of the state (with zero Utah ties too). Ugh. I don't get it. Mind your own business.

Though my grandma & MIL both said they hated the name Oliver...

[jaye]

My son has two middle names and I get questioned a lot about that when we have to fill out forms as usually there is only space for one.
His first name is Braeden we always have to spell it as most will use a 'y' rather than the 'e' or correct people as he gets Brandon a lot. As for nicknames, he hates Brady and would correct anyone who called him that, we sometimes call him Brae but for the most part he gets his full name

[chastml]

My girls both have names starting with M (Molly and Megan), while the boy's name starts with I (Isaac). People always ask why he doesn't have an M name. Well, he's the oldest and we didn't intend to have a naming theme for our kids. Those were just the names my husband and I could agree on. We both have very different taste in names and had to compromise, a lot, when naming our children.

[clearskies]

When I told my grandma what we were going to name our daughter her response was "Well at least she can go by her middle name."

Oh, and my daughter's first name was my great-grandma's maiden name. (Granted on the other side of the family...)