Do you let your kids go out with a fever?

[ashersmommy]

Maybe I'm old-fashioned in my thinking (I'm not that old lol) but with all of these super-bugs, etc. going around and this year being a particularly bad one overall for flu, I am cautious with my kids going out and make them wash their hands after things like school or community events we go to. I also advise them not to stick their hands in their mouth, nose (good advice anyway lol), or to touch their eyes while we are out unless they wash their hands first. I'm not that big a germ-a-phobe usually, but there are certain precautions I exercise.

That said, I am thoroughly pissed today. Every time I see our friends in a get together lately, my kids catch something because someone is ALWAYS sick when we get there and should have stayed home.

If my kid has a persistent cough/sneeze/fever/rash, I let the parents know ahead of time to ask if they would like us to take a rain check and 97% of the time stay home just to be on the safe side if it is something they contracted within the past 48 hours.

A couple of months ago we ventured out to a birthday party only to find that 4 of the 6-7 kids there either had coughs and excessively runny noses, had been puking two days earlier or active, just-diagnosed-at-the-med-station-before-they-arrived pink eye. The child with pink eye was a teenager and played a tablet in the car for a half hour while his parents still conversed and ate cake, then left.

Less than a week later, my oldest contracted pink eye in both eyes despite never coming anywhere near the boy.

Last night one of my friends showed up with her baby and not 10 minutes after she arrived, announced she had a 102 fever from teething (she said she had no other symptoms). I gently told her my pediatrician said anything 101 and higher was NOT teething but she disagreed (nicely but still...). Aside from throwing her out of my house, my hands were tied. I did not want to be mean.

Throughout the night, her daughter whined and cried profusely accompanied by a continuously drippy nose, coughs and big droopy, sad eyes. My heart broke for her but at the same time I was furious with the laid back attitude her parents took with the whole thing.

The worst part? She kept trying to get the babies (mine and hers) to play together when all I wanted was to whisk mine away. I did eventually because Kyla's bed time is fairly early and to my luck she stayed asleep during the rest of their visit. I washed anything she touched and Lysol'd like a mad woman. Am I a little neurotic? Maybe, but I don't care. My family's health comes first.

I did a little research and teething and fever are really a myth that is as old as ancient times. Fever is an indicator of some virus or infection, be it small without other symptoms or large like last night. Still, many continue to believe despite research that teething goes hand in hand with fever.

I didn't used to ask if anyone was sick because I thought it was always assumed parents would tell you or not come if kids/adults are sick, but after last night, I'm going to start.

Do you let your kids go out with a fever? Do you call ahead for play dates and "get togethers" to ask if anyone is sick?

[MamaBee]

People probably call me way over protective... but if Jake is sick, even if just starting a cold... the house goes into lock down. He goes no where... I don't want him getting anyone else sick and I especially don't want him to get sicker! If he has a fever, I for sure wouldn't leave the house... plus he would be miserable, so why would he want to go out and play with his friends.

I haven't called ahead to ask if anyone is sick... I pretty much expect that during the high time of colds, someone is sick at his classes, so I try to help migrate it with hand washing, vitamins, lots of water and rest... I know I can't keep him away from everything (plus it's needed to pump up his immune system)... however if I know he is sick or I know someone else is sick, we stay home... as I mentioned, many parents think I'm way over protective...

[Jenn Barrette]

We still send the kids with a cough or runny nose to school, playdates etc. Fever, diarrhea, vomiting = 24hrs free of all symptoms before they leave the house again in my book.

My kids were sick so much their first few years of school as they built up their immune systems, and if I kept them home for every cough and runny nose....they probably would have been home 1/2 the year But, anything worse than that they stay home.

Pinkeye is supposedly not contagious after 24hrs of treatment, so I send them out after the 24 hrs. Also, for a lot of rashes, they are no longer contagious after the rash shows. So, I try not to judge to harshly when I see kids out in public like that because the parents could very well be in the right.

[Beebo]

Originally Posted by Jenn Barrette

We still send the kids with a cough or runny nose to school, playdates etc. Fever, diarrhea, vomiting = 24hrs free of all symptoms before they leave the house again in my book.

My kids were sick so much their first few years of school as they built up their immune systems, and if I kept them home for every cough and runny nose....they probably would have been home 1/2 the year But, anything worse than that they stay home.

Pinkeye is supposedly not contagious after 24hrs of treatment, so I send them out after the 24 hrs. Also, for a lot of rashes, they are no longer contagious after the rash shows. So, I try not to judge to harshly when I see kids out in public like that because the parents could very well be in the right.

This is what I do.

[glumirk]

DD catches everything that goes around, so I definitely keep her home with a fever. Even if she ends up sick afterward I will apologize to the parents and warn them to watch out for the symptoms. Most parents don't care and say that their kids will run into it anyway. My daughter has been miserably sick for about a week of every month since October, if not more, so I certainly care about her being around sick people. I hate even taking her to the grocery store. Too many high fevers, runny noses, coughs, and sore throats, and vomiting for my baby.

[MommaTrish]

Mason always runs a high fever when teething, and I mean HIGH. Seriously it kicks his little ***. He gets fevers, runny nose, gunky eyes, and sometimes the pukes from the nose. I take him to the doctor every time, and every time the doctor finds nothing else wrong with him and by the time it's all done he generally has 2-3 new teeth. And none of us who were around him the whole time end up with any of those so...
That being said, we don't go anywhere when he's like that, just in case there is actually something else wrong.

And like Jenn said - rashes usually show after the child is no longer contagious. And so long as a child has been puke/diarrhea free for 24 hours 99% of the time they are also no longer contagious. Of course that doesn't mean that someone else in that house doesn't currently have that bug without knowing it yet.

[rach3975]

Originally Posted by Jenn Barrette

We still send the kids with a cough or runny nose to school, playdates etc. Fever, diarrhea, vomiting = 24hrs free of all symptoms before they leave the house again in my book.

My kids were sick so much their first few years of school as they built up their immune systems, and if I kept them home for every cough and runny nose....they probably would have been home 1/2 the year But, anything worse than that they stay home.

Pinkeye is supposedly not contagious after 24hrs of treatment, so I send them out after the 24 hrs. Also, for a lot of rashes, they are no longer contagious after the rash shows. So, I try not to judge to harshly when I see kids out in public like that because the parents could very well be in the right.

This is what I do, too. One we're past the tiny infant stage I don't worry about colds or keep my kids home for a cold. But fevers, stomach bugs, etc I do 24 hours symptom free or until they've been on an antibiotic long enough that the doctor says they're not contagious.

[MommaTrish]

Also, what our doctor always tells us - most people are the most contagious before they even realize that they are sick.

[SmallMoments]

Originally Posted by Jenn Barrette

We still send the kids with a cough or runny nose to school, playdates etc. Fever, diarrhea, vomiting = 24hrs free of all symptoms before they leave the house again in my book.

My kids were sick so much their first few years of school as they built up their immune systems, and if I kept them home for every cough and runny nose....they probably would have been home 1/2 the year But, anything worse than that they stay home.

Pinkeye is supposedly not contagious after 24hrs of treatment, so I send them out after the 24 hrs. Also, for a lot of rashes, they are no longer contagious after the rash shows. So, I try not to judge to harshly when I see kids out in public like that because the parents could very well be in the right.

This is me, too. We have some friends that are the same way as your friend, though. Drives me CRAZY. Luke was sicker this year than any other year and I guarantee it's because we started hanging out with this family. Grrr... I totally get what you're saying!

[rach3975]

Originally Posted by Jenn Barrette

We still send the kids with a cough or runny nose to school, playdates etc. Fever, diarrhea, vomiting = 24hrs free of all symptoms before they leave the house again in my book.

My kids were sick so much their first few years of school as they built up their immune systems, and if I kept them home for every cough and runny nose....they probably would have been home 1/2 the year But, anything worse than that they stay home.

Pinkeye is supposedly not contagious after 24hrs of treatment, so I send them out after the 24 hrs. Also, for a lot of rashes, they are no longer contagious after the rash shows. So, I try not to judge to harshly when I see kids out in public like that because the parents could very well be in the right.

This is what I do, too. One we're past the tiny infant stage I don't worry about colds or keep my kids home for a cold. But fevers, stomach bugs, etc I do 24 hours symptom free or until they've been on an antibiotic long enough that the doctor says they're not contagious.

It always amazes me what other people do. We once had a good friend I'd never expect it of show up at our kid's birthday party running a fever and say, You don't mind, do you? Um, yeah. Of course I mind!

[ashersmommy]

Originally Posted by MamaBee

People probably call me way over protective... but if Jake is sick, even if just starting a cold... the house goes into lock down. He goes no where... I don't want him getting anyone else sick and I especially don't want him to get sicker! If he has a fever, I for sure wouldn't leave the house... plus he would be miserable, so why would he want to go out and play with his friends.

I haven't called ahead to ask if anyone is sick... I pretty much expect that during the high time of colds, someone is sick at his classes, so I try to help migrate it with hand washing, vitamins, lots of water and rest... I know I can't keep him away from everything (plus it's needed to pump up his immune system)... however if I know he is sick or I know someone else is sick, we stay home... as I mentioned, many parents think I'm way over protective...

This sounds a lot like me. I do give the kids probiotics and vitamins and I actually expect them to get sick a lot of the time and it is good for them to be exposed to some viruses and fight them off naturally. That said, I just think it would have been common courtesy to give me a ring and say "Hey, so-and-so has a fever and it may be from teething, is it still okay if we come over?". I have extended this same courtesy to her family in the past when kids had runny noses and I wasn't sure if they were sick or not (minus fever).

[Kara]

Ugh! This is my pet peeve. In the past, with my other kids, it was just annoying. But now that we have Timothy, it can quite possibly be a matter of life and death. He got RSV in April and almost died from it. He probably got it from one of us for whom it was just a cold - but because of his low immune system and trach, even the simplest cold or virus can be life-threatening. That's why we don't take him out except to necessary doctor appointments. We rarely have people other than family to our home during cold & flu season. It's just not worth the risk. Goodness knows he gets enough germ exposure from his siblings!

[YepBrook]

I totally get you!

I am glad I have a group of friends who mostly agree on when their kids are healthy enough for playdates. Being a homeschooler helps in this area because they see a smaller pool of kids but we still do social activities throughout the week. I, personally, am very careful about not bringing my kids into public when they are highly contagious. Especially when it involves playing together, sharing a meal, or toys, etc.

We do 24 hours after a cold or fever. According to sources online and my Ped, we wait 48-72 hours after vomiting or the flu, especially anything that could have been a noro or roto-virus. That means from the last episode or incident we count from there... 48 hours after the last vomit, whatnot.

I do take colds seriously. Not everyone does. This is my #1 complaint is moms who bring their kids with snot all over their faces (and the kid rubbing their nose and then handling shared toys) to playdates. Colds are a nuisance and sometimes will run through the whole family leaving us feeling miserable for weeks before turning into a sinus infection. Blah! If my kids have snot I keep them home. A sniffle is one thing, but blowing tons of snot or sneezing everywhere... they stay home.

Back in the baby days we had a lot of tummy virus incidents and fevers from mommy groups with sick babies under the blanket of teething excuses. I myself believe they can get a low grade fever from teething... but only low grade. I think when they are teething their immune system is compromised while they are also putting their hands and other objects into their mouths more often therefore causing them to get sick more often as a result. Bacterial and viral stuff. I don't think it's caused by the teething itself. But that's just my opinion based on our experiences and from talking to my pediatrician.

[jovi_girl]

My kids are both terribly asthmatic, and catching just a simple cold can set them off and mean a few days in hospital for them. So it really bothers me when i see kids out in public who are obviously not well. Fair enough if they just have the sniffles and are otherwise running around happily, but when a child has snot dripping down their face with coughing/fever and those sad, sick eyes they should not be out in public in my opinion. I know when i feel like that, going out is the last thing id want to do.

[joelsgirl]

I'm in the Jenn Barrette camp, and I just figure as parents we all do what we gotta do, so sometimes kids get sent to school when maybe they SHOULD have stayed home because mom didn't have any more sick days, and really, stuff goes around regardless of whether the sick kid stays home or not.

I do try not to take my kids out when people know they've been sick, but mostly because I fear the social repercussions, and not so much because I think they'll infect other kids. I don't want *my kids* (and therefore me) to take the blame when everyone's getting sick.

[MissKim]

As a pre-K teacher, I tell parents to look at their child and use the child to determine if he/she should go out that day. For example, with a cold, most kids are fine to still go to school. However, a child that is coughing until he gags, or has a nose that will not stop running causing teachers to stop instruction to wipe it, or is just exhausted from being up all night coughing... that child probably shouldn't be at school or at a play date. That child is not going to get anything out of the experience.

Fevers, vomiting, diarrhea, rash/pink eye... there's strict rules there. Colds are hard, though.

[lovely1m]

I agree with Jenn. I do not have a job that I can call in sick for and thus unless my child is currently puking or running a very high fever, I am at work and he is at school. No choice. If it's a just for fun thing, I would keep him home to rest and get over whatever he has. As for the teething/fever thing, I can tell you, like Trish, my son ran a fever with every single tooth, luckily, my daycare provider knew this and still took him when he was fevery and teething.

[SeattleSheri]

It's so hard. With most viral illnesses, you are contagious before you have symptoms. I use my intuition with my kids. If we've invited people over, I always tell them if any of the kids have any sort of illness and let them decide if they want to come over ... and I extend the same courtesy if we are going to someone else's house.

Regarding pink eye. There are multiple causes of pink eye (viral, bacterial, chemical, allergic). If you have viral pink eye, it just has to run its course, even with drops you are still contagious (4-7 days). Antibiotic drops only resolve bacterial pink eye.

I've definitely been frustrated in the past to find out when we get to someone's house that they've all just had (or have) a stomach virus, etc ...

[AmberK]

This is us too. We have allergy problems here in Austin and the only way you can tell a cold from allergies is if the symptoms are longer than 10 days- then its probably a cold.

Originally Posted by Jenn Barrette

We still send the kids with a cough or runny nose to school, playdates etc. Fever, diarrhea, vomiting = 24hrs free of all symptoms before they leave the house again in my book.

My kids were sick so much their first few years of school as they built up their immune systems, and if I kept them home for every cough and runny nose....they probably would have been home 1/2 the year But, anything worse than that they stay home.

Pinkeye is supposedly not contagious after 24hrs of treatment, so I send them out after the 24 hrs. Also, for a lot of rashes, they are no longer contagious after the rash shows. So, I try not to judge to harshly when I see kids out in public like that because the parents could very well be in the right.

[SeattleSheri]

Originally Posted by AmberK

This is us too. We have allergy problems here in Austin and the only way you can tell a cold from allergies is if the symptoms are longer than 10 days- then its probably a cold.

It's actually the other way around Most colds resolve in 10 days, whereas allergies can last anywhere from a few days to months (depending how long you continue to be exposed to the allergens). I've done a lot of research on this topic, since I have adult onset allergies. I'm still not 100% sure whether I had a cold or allergies recently. It was a topic of debate at my office when everyone felt like I was trying to pass it off as allergies

[DawnMarch]

We don't normally let the kids go out within 24 hours of a fever, especially if it's something like a stomach bug or, worse, pinkeye. That is so contagious!

[scrapweaver]

Originally Posted by MamaBee

People probably call me way over protective... but if Jake is sick, even if just starting a cold... the house goes into lock down. He goes no where... I don't want him getting anyone else sick and I especially don't want him to get sicker! If he has a fever, I for sure wouldn't leave the house... plus he would be miserable, so why would he want to go out and play with his friends.

I haven't called ahead to ask if anyone is sick... I pretty much expect that during the high time of colds, someone is sick at his classes, so I try to help migrate it with hand washing, vitamins, lots of water and rest... I know I can't keep him away from everything (plus it's needed to pump up his immune system)... however if I know he is sick or I know someone else is sick, we stay home... as I mentioned, many parents think I'm way over protective...

This is me too . . I get really annoyed if kids are really sick and still sent to school; though I realise this is a little unfair as some ppl cant stay home with the kiddies . . I am lucky that either my hubby or myself can be home if the kids are sick. My daughter is asthmatic so colds really knock her around. If they're sick or they've had a rough night, they stay home.

Same goes for head lice - for goodness sake treat the poor kid before sending back to school!!!!!!!!!!! The money we've spent on head lice stuff is ridiculous; head lice LOVE our climate and it seems that so many ppl just dont worry about trying to control head lice . . our kids are now done so regularly its just part of normal routine (we dont use chemical anymore, natural methods are cheaper and less yukky and work just as well)

sorry . . rant over!

[MommaTrish]

I will say I send Zach to school sick quite frequently. There isn't anyway I'm keeping him home for every little cold. He gets sick-sick so many other times during the year that generally by January/February he's already missed the amount of days allowed. The only way those other days can't be held against him is if the SCHOOL sends him home. Example - I sent him to school with a stomach bug in May. I felt horrible about it, and I felt really bad for any other kids who also ended up sick, but the only other option was keeping him home and me getting sent to court for truancy (even though every single day he missed was backed by a doctor's note). Chances are any kids who got sick were probably going to get sick anyway since this particular bug had been plaguing our area for about a week or two by the time Zach got it. And as mentioned before, most of the time by the time you're looking and acting sick you've already been contagious for several days anyway.

[Sherri Tierney]

I am pretty laid back but I won't send them out with vomiting or diarrhea or a fever. When they were babies they got HIGH fevers from teething as well as a plethora of other symptoms that made them appear sick when they were not. I didn't keep them home during that time, but I didn't throw them out among other babies or children. I carried them in a sling or wrap or put them in their car seat and kept them close to me. I didn't just let them run amok with a fever, runny nose, etc. It was more for my peace of mind... and, like Kellie mentioned, I didn't want people blaming *my kids* when someone got sick.

My kids both suffer from horrible seasonal allergies. During certain months of the year there is no way to avoid a runny nose and a cough (and often bright red eyes too, though not pink eye). I don't keep them home. I explain to anyone who needs to know that they suffer from allergies and are not sick. If I kept them home they would, literally, miss weeks at a time of school. I DID have to pick my daughter up from school one day when she was in 3rd grade. They called me twice to bring her cough medicine (which I promptly did each time) and the third time they called they simply said that she was coughing so hard, long and loud that it was distracting everyone and the teacher couldn't hear over her. I wasn't asked to pick her up, but I did out of respect for the teacher and for my daughter who had to be miserable after all of that coughing.

When my kids were little we had neighbors with similar aged kids. They used to bring their kids over, spend an hour playing, and then, as they left, tell us their kid had pneumonia or something equally contagious and severe. Ugh. I hated that. I started avoiding them entirely.

When my oldest was in kindergarten the whole school (practically) came down with Fifths disease. It is so hard to catch right away because by the time the most obvious symptom appears (the rash) then the child is no longer contagious. I had been concerned about my daughter's rash and ready to take her to a dermatologist thinking she had some skin issue going on. The school nurse sent home a note and I realized instantly what she had. I called to apologize to the principal for having sent a sick child at some point (though I didn't realize she was sick, no fever, nothing) and she assured me that it wasn't a big deal and said that her own daughter (a first grader at the same school) had it too and she didn't know until she saw the rash. So, anyway, little brother got it. We were at his sister's dance class and there he was with his bright pink cheeks. One of the mothers YELLED at me for bringing him. She told me (and everyone who would listen) that he had scarlet fever. She kept saying "I'm a nurse, I KNOW these things!" LOL I just assured everyone it was Fifths disease and that once the rash appears the child is no longer contagious. I told them they were welcome to call my doctor if they were concerned and offered up his home phone number to them. No one was worried except the mom who originally started the drama. She just moved to the other end of the hallway from us and scoffed. LOL

[Sherri Tierney]

Originally Posted by MommaTrish

I will say I send Zach to school sick quite frequently. There isn't anyway I'm keeping him home for every little cold. He gets sick-sick so many other times during the year that generally by January/February he's already missed the amount of days allowed. The only way those other days can't be held against him is if the SCHOOL sends him home. Example - I sent him to school with a stomach bug in May. I felt horrible about it, and I felt really bad for any other kids who also ended up sick, but the only other option was keeping him home and me getting sent to court for truancy (even though every single day he missed was backed by a doctor's note). Chances are any kids who got sick were probably going to get sick anyway since this particular bug had been plaguing our area for about a week or two by the time Zach got it. And as mentioned before, most of the time by the time you're looking and acting sick you've already been contagious for several days anyway.

Your school district would call a child truant who had doctor's notes?? That is crazy! Our school district does not. If they have proof of illness then no questions are asked no matter how many days the child misses... provided a parent actually calls the school each day they are absent. One mom did get threatened with truancy but she never called in for her kid then went to the doctor AFTER the fact and had him send a note saying her child had been very ill on all of those days (the note didn't even list specific days and the doctor had not saw the child on those days). The threat of truancy was only AFTER the principal had visited her home in person a few times asking her to call in when her child was sick, seeing if there was anything the school could do, etc.

At our school we would rather a child stay home, no matter how many days they missed, than to come to school and be sent back home after exposing other kids. If we treated parents the way it sounds like you were treated though, then they probably wouldn't feel they had an option.

[Milmomma]

Originally Posted by Sherri Tierney

I am pretty laid back but I won't send them out with vomiting or diarrhea or a fever.

My kids both suffer from horrible seasonal allergies. During certain months of the year there is no way to avoid a runny nose and a cough (and often bright red eyes too, though not pink eye). I don't keep them home. I explain to anyone who needs to know that they suffer from allergies and are not sick. If I kept them home they would, literally, miss weeks at a time of school. I DID have to pick my daughter up from school one day when she was in 3rd grade. They called me twice to bring her cough medicine (which I promptly did each time) and the third time they called they simply said that she was coughing so hard, long and loud that it was distracting everyone and the teacher couldn't hear over her. I wasn't asked to pick her up, but I did out of respect for the teacher and for my daughter who had to be miserable after all of that coughing.

I'm the same way and so are my kids. We have absolutely horrible allergies that make us appear like we have severe colds. We take meds, they are not contagious. I alter the school/teachers at the beginning of the year. The doctor has us all on lots of meds to do what we can. I can't make my kids stop living cause of allergies. They would miss half the school year if so. :/
Now if its too bad and they are acting strange, puking, fevers, rashes, etc, I keep them home.

[mariewilcox]

Originally Posted by joelsgirl

I'm in the Jenn Barrette camp, and I just figure as parents we all do what we gotta do, so sometimes kids get sent to school when maybe they SHOULD have stayed home because mom didn't have any more sick days, and really, stuff goes around regardless of whether the sick kid stays home or not.

I do try not to take my kids out when people know they've been sick, but mostly because I fear the social repercussions, and not so much because I think they'll infect other kids. I don't want *my kids* (and therefore me) to take the blame when everyone's getting sick.

Yep, this is me, especially now that my DD is older (Jr. High). Sore throat and no fever - goes to school. Cold/cough with no fever - goes to school. I draw the line at vomiting and diarrhea and also with a fever of more than 99.0. Honestly the child gets sick maybe once a year (including head colds) so it's mostly a non-issue. She could have a whole classroom with strep throat and she won't get it (and thankfully I've always been the same way) so she is exposed to lots of stuff but must have an iron immune system

[Paula]

If it's a low grade fever like 99 then yes. If it's over that, no because I consider them contagious.