Sweet Shoppe Designs


Go Back   Sweet Shoppe Community > Candy Coated Conversation > A Sweet Little Community
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09-09-2009, 10:16 PM
tkelley's Avatar
tkelley tkelley is offline
Such a Sweetie
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 139
Default Lets talk about the US Military...

So we've been discussing what is the best "next step" for our family and we're beginning to consider the Military. We have, a 3 year old, 1.5 year old and baby #3 arriving in October. Currently we serve as "houseparents" at a Christian's home. My husband has 30,000+ in student loans plus we have a fair amount of debt. Long term, dh wants to go to seminary but we know we NEED to get out of debt.

I've always been pro-military, but then I've never really considered it for my family. I think my husband is going to talk to someone about it this week to answer some of our questions...but I want to know what all you women think about it (that know what it's like to be a SAHM/military wife.

He is not intrested in combat, I really can't even picture him in that role. Likely computers or something in that nature. Maybe Navy or Army. And not looking to make it a carrer.

What's it like?
Do you have any say in where you go?
Are your husband's gone a lot?
Is it stressful?
Do they really "take care" of the family?

Advice Please!!
__________________
Enjoying Life!
-Tara


my gallery


Fan of:
ALL Sweet Shoppe Designers!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 09-09-2009, 10:24 PM
lovely1m's Avatar
lovely1m lovely1m is offline
Sweetsaholic
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 10,224
Default

Your dh could be a chaplain assistant, they do deploy, but they do not fight. That sounds pretty perfect for him.

It would be a huge step, but yes, your life is so much more stable. You always have that income, you always have that house, but your dh can leave and be gone a long time and will not always be safe while gone. I think talking to a recruiter and some military wives is a great first step. I am on the wrong end to help you since I am actually in, but good luck with that big decision!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 09-09-2009, 10:28 PM
lovely1m's Avatar
lovely1m lovely1m is offline
Sweetsaholic
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 10,224
Default

Forgot your ?s

Do you have any say in where you go? The AF I know has a dream list, they take your feelings into account, but its not for sure
Are your husband's gone a lot? Depends on the job, some deploy or train in the field a lot, some jobs are not deployable
Is it stressful? Yes, very, but there is also many stresses you do not have to worry about
Do they really "take care" of the family? Yes, there are a ton of programs for military familes and they are very much a part of the military family
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 09-09-2009, 10:42 PM
Julie Billingsley's Avatar
Julie Billingsley Julie Billingsley is offline
The Ghost of Awesome Past
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,953
Default

I was a Navy wife for 10 years and my dad was in the Navy so my first 30ish years were all Navy. It is a good plan for some families but not for others, so ask lots of questions! I don't know how old your husband is, but first make sure he is even eligible to join and decide if he is in good health. They definately will do a physical and tons of questions on that. Has he already taken the ASVAB?

One of the nicest things about the military is a stable income and fairly regular pay raises/promotions. (Since my husband's company has had to now do 3 years of pay CUTS, that is a big issue for me. LOL) I actually liked the military life, but you have to be prepared for being a 'single mom' at times. And not everyone enjoys that. Many hugs to you as you make this decision!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 09-09-2009, 10:59 PM
nikkiARNGwife's Avatar
nikkiARNGwife nikkiARNGwife is offline
Jabber-Jawbreaker
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 8,023
Default

What's it like?

It's hard. You have to realize that you're not just married to him anymore..you're married to the army and usually the army comes first. That was hard for me the first few years, but you learn to accept it.

Do you have any say in where you go?

DH is active duty national guard so we have a little more say in where we go..he can usually accept/refuse a spot..but they can always go over him and say "nope this is where you're going" With NG though you don't move as much..we've only moved 3 times in the past 8 years.

Are your husband's gone a lot?

Yes. You can pretty much bet on deployments..they're sadly a fact of military lives right now. DH has been deployed 2 times in the past 3 years..both over a year at a time. And even when he's not deployed he has training etc. that can last weeks or months at a time. Let's just say we live apart more than we live together these days.

Is it stressful?

During deployements..yes definitely stressful. Between deployments..yes b/c you're worried about him getting put on alert again.

Do they really "take care" of the family?

Yes. Right now especially, the military is probably the best job you can have. We never pay a dime in healthcare, we have a stable income and the chances of him losing his job are slim to none lol. Tricare is a pain in the butt with all the hoops you have to jump through sometimes, but still, we never pay a dime in healthcare costs.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 09-09-2009, 11:06 PM
Julie Billingsley's Avatar
Julie Billingsley Julie Billingsley is offline
The Ghost of Awesome Past
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,953
Default

LOL... I forgot your questions too!

What's it like? Probably depends on your personality, your enjoyment of moving and change, and where you live and how well you connect to your location.

Do you have any say in where you go? You influence the decision... but they send you where they need the person. If they only have 1 opening for your husband's job... then he goes there, like it or not. I will say that both my ex-husband and my dad were really fortunite to get the duty stations that they wanted... however sometimes they had to switch jobs slightly.

Are your husband's gone a lot?
My dad was gone for a year or so at a time because he was on a ship that went on West Pac all the time. (West Pac is a tour of the western Pacific--- Japan, Korea, Philippines.) but my ex-h was on a submarine and he was gone about 80 days, back around 90 days, and repeat that endlessly. In my ex-husband's time, he had 3 years of sea-duty (leaving constantly), then had 2 years of shore-duty (not leaving), then 3 years of sea-duty, and 2 years of shore-duty.

Is it stressful?
Knowing we had a stable steady income and healthcare wasn't stressful... but the transition to him leaving and then being gone was stressful everytime. I actually do pretty okay as a "single mom" but it still isn't easy.

Do they really "take care" of the family?
eh... I don't know that I'd say that. There are wives clubs to help each other if you need... but as with any group, it all depends on the individuals in it.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 09-10-2009, 12:03 AM
Nettio's Avatar
Nettio Nettio is offline
Jabber-Jawbreaker
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,196
Default

Since your DH already has a college degree (or I'm assuming based on the student loans), you might have him look into becoming an Officer. The pay is about double what you'd come in as an enlisted soldier, your housing pay is quite a bit more and you tend to get more say and respect as well. You can see all the options for it here - not sure what category your DH would fall under.

My DH was on scholarship for ROTC so he's currently active duty Army. We just passed the 4 year mark last year, with another 4 years to go in our commitment. Not sure if we'll continue after that but I've already told him that if we make it to 10 years, we're going to 20. He's Medical Service - Medical Logistics so he's not involved in any sort of combat - more just support of combat. His jobs have ranged from organizing supplies, to planning medical training to working at the military hospital. There's actually a lot of support type jobs if you're not looking for combat positions.

What's it like?

I think in a lot of ways, it is what you make it. You really have to go in with a positive attitude and accept that a lot of things will be out of your control. I never thought in a million years I'd end up an Army wife but I've actually been pleasantly surprised by how much I actually like it. You have to just be ready for a bit of adventure and not stress over having so much of your life controlled by someone else - which can definitely be tough!

Do you have any say in where you go?

Yes and no. They do try to station you in a place that you request but it doesn't always work out that way. In our case, our first location wasn't even on our top 10 list but our second location was our number one choice. It does help to be proactive and stay in contact with those that assign you to where you want to go. They also post openings for jobs ahead of time so you can try to request a certain position at a certain post as well.

Are your husband's gone a lot?

Not to discourage you but yes, it's unfortunately part of the lifestyle. They are working to make the time between deployments longer but right now you can expect them to deploy about every other year. This last time we had 18 months between deployments and I thought that was pretty good. Plus you have to add in classes (anywhere from 2.5-6 mths) and regular training exercises. We figure my DH was gone about two months (3 week-long exercises and another month long one) just for training for the deployment itself.

Is it stressful?

You know, I don't really find it that stressful. My DH is deployed to Afghanistan right now and I just do my best not to worry about it. The reality is there is nothing I can do to change the circumstances he is in. You have to just trust in their training and remind yourself that this is what they're prepared to do. It also helps if you're pretty independent and willing to just go with the flow. There are definitely times when it's downright frustrating but the longer we're in the more I learn and the easier it gets.

Do they really "take care" of the family?

They definitely try to. Each company usually has a Family Readiness Group which helps to prepare families for deployments and provide support while the soldiers are deployed. They also try to provide job assistance (I haven't had much luck with that though haha), childcare options, extra pay, etc. There's definitely worse jobs you could have.

I know you mentioned paying off debt and I just want to say that thanks to Dave Ramsey and the military we've payed off a bunch of our student loan debt a lot faster than I know we would have otherwise. It's definitely been a benefit for us in that regard.

Anyway, hope that helps some! If you have any other questions, just let me know. We were all new to the military at one time and I definitely how crazy and frustrating it can be.

Last edited by Nettio; 09-10-2009 at 12:12 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 09-10-2009, 12:33 AM
nun69's Avatar
nun69 nun69 is offline
Sweetsaholic
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Roanoke, VA
Posts: 10,044
Send a message via Yahoo to nun69
Default

I just wanted to add I am currently on active duty Navy and I would personally recommend looking into the Air Force as an option{don't get me wrong girls I am not knocking in of the other services because I just spent 7 months with the Army and they were AWESOME}....BUT the 18 1/2 years I have been in, the Air Force treats their people ALOT better than the other services when it comes to just about everything...{i may be wrong on some of these things, but this is what I have gathered over the years}...their housing is 10X better than any other military housing I've seen in the other branches, you can be in a certain area for longer than the Navy {this I know}, and they seem to make rank { means they move up the ladder in income and responsibility} faster than the Navy and overall I get the feel that people in the Air Force never have any regerts where some people in other services do...

but DEFINETELY get all your questions answered and don't just take the 1st answer you get, investigate it! and especially if your husband has a degree, he needs to look into coming in the military as an officer and don't just take the 1st thing they throw at you

and one thing for sure, deployments are happening all across the services, but the Army fills the majority of Afghanistan and Iraq...that may change, but that may also be something you want to consider~

I think if you are an outgoing person and willing to get out their in the military community to make friends and such, then it is a GREAT place to be...if you are not very outgoing, you can get to the point were you feel very isolated and have no one to depend on...BUT there are HUGE commnities of military spouses out there and they are AWESOME!

NOTE: I HAVE NO REGRETS AND WOULD DO IT AGAIN IN A HEARTBEAT!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 09-10-2009, 01:02 AM
Nettio's Avatar
Nettio Nettio is offline
Jabber-Jawbreaker
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,196
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nun69 View Post
I just wanted to add I am currently on active duty Navy and I would personally recommend looking into the Air Force as an option{don't get me wrong girls I am not knocking in of the other services because I just spent 7 months with the Army and they were AWESOME}....BUT the 18 1/2 years I have been in, the Air Force treats their people ALOT better than the other services when it comes to just about everything...{i may be wrong on some of these things, but this is what I have gathered over the years}...their housing is 10X better than any other military housing I've seen in the other branches, you can be in a certain area for longer than the Navy {this I know}, and they seem to make rank { means they move up the ladder in income and responsibility} faster than the Navy and overall I get the feel that people in the Air Force never have any regerts where some people in other services do...
Well there's a reason it's known as the Chair Force. I do agree some with what you're saying though. My DH was already in Army ROTC when I met him so I didn't get a choice but I probably would have pushed for the Air Force if I'd have a choice. (I still do sometimes tell him he should have chosen Air Force ROTC instead when he complains about the Army, haha.) It is true that their deployments tend to be shorter (6 months?) and I think less often as well. They also have a lot more cooler locations to get stationed, at least I think anyway. The Army gets a bit screwed in that regard but such is life, haha.

As far as housing, it is always going to depend on the base. We have an Air Force base near us and I think the housing on Ft Carson looks a lot newer and nicer, but the commissary (grocery store) on the AF base is much nicer.

I don't know if this is still the case but I know the Air Force was actually turning people away at one point. When my DH graduated college, some of the people he knew that had done Air Force ROTC were being told they didn't have space for them so they could either get out of the military or become an Army officer instead. That was 4 years ago though so it could be different now.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 09-10-2009, 01:22 AM
clearskies's Avatar
clearskies clearskies is offline
Sugar Rush
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: PNW
Posts: 990
Default

Sooooo, let me tell you about life in the Air Force.

DH has been active duty for 17 years now. I came on board at his 10 year mark. We're thinkin 9-10 more years. The first base I was at, we were there almost 6 years. Right now we're 18 months into a 3 year assignment at base two.

What's it like?

Generally speaking it's like a regular job. His shift starts around 7:00 am and he gets home around 6:00 at night. (He is a workaholic though...that's why the longer hours.) In his field there are people on the job 24 hours a day though.

Do you have any say in where you go?

Usually. He's picked most of his assignments. As far as you having any say...I'll just say I was informed we were moving...

Are your husband's gone a lot?

Until we moved here the longest he was gone was 3 weeks. Up here he was gone 7 weeks last winter and right now he's on a 5 month deployment. That said, it's only his second or third deployment in 17 years and the last one was over 11 years ago! I don't know of any Air Force member (personally) who has been gone over 7 months.

Is it stressful?

My greatest stress is over little stuff. Will we be able to take our vacation when we want. Will we be able to find a babysitter for such and such squadron thing. Etc.

Do they really "take care" of the family?

Physically yes. Housing is provided. I do pay for my health care by choice becuase I think the care is superior and I don't have to jump through all the hoops Nikki talked about...
In my experience the emotional side has left much to be desired. Depends on his squadron and how it's structured. I made a bigger effort at this base to get involved very quickly and it's paid off. Within 9 months of arriving I actually was too involved...

Overall...

Overall I really love the lifestyle. You get the chance to see and experience some things/places that most people don't. You get to meet people from all walks of life and glimpse into life in different regions/countries. It has it's headaches, but frankly, so does any other job. And at the end of the day, you can say you were a part of something bigger than yourself.

And, Lynnette, yes the drawdown has stopped. They have decided to keep the Air Force at it's current level, so they should be back to accepting people now. 2005/2006 were really tough years...especially for company grade officers.
__________________
Amy

Last edited by clearskies; 09-10-2009 at 01:25 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 09-10-2009, 02:03 AM
4noisyboys's Avatar
4noisyboys 4noisyboys is offline
Sweet Talker
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,578
Default

My brother is the only one in our family that is in the military. He already had a college degree (he is a psychologist), so he entered in as an officer. He has 16 years in the Navy right now, and is on his second deployment. He is in Kuwait right now (same base where Angie was). He has to travel some during the weeks when he's home to go to seminars and such, but because of what he does, he hasn't had to be deployed but the two times. He won't be deployed again either. He will finish another 6 months in DC when he comes back, and then will transfer to be the head of mental health at Bethesda (meaning he won't have to move his family again). He'll be able to retire after that (he'll have his 20 years). He will be a Captain a few months after he returns, and he will be able to retire making lots of money and won't have to work if he doesn't want to.

I know that one of the reasons my brother chose the navy is the locations of the Navy bases. He figured that as a doctor, he'd be stationed more than likely on one of the coasts. He even got to live in Spain for 3 years, and they loved that. Our families have always lived fairly near the water...and that was something that he felt he'd have a better chance at being in the Navy!

I agree with what the gals said about not taking the first thing they offer him if he decides to join!

I know there were times my brother wished he were out of the military, but now, with his rank and what he gets to do...he is very happy he stayed in.

I'm trying to talk to my youngest about doing that himself after college, but he's already told me there are 2 things he will NOT do:
Go to school for 8 years (ok...but he HAS to at least have his masters)
Go into the military! (yeah...my brother said that too!)
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 09-10-2009, 02:24 AM
Nettio's Avatar
Nettio Nettio is offline
Jabber-Jawbreaker
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,196
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by clearskies View Post
Overall I really love the lifestyle. You get the chance to see and experience some things/places that most people don't. You get to meet people from all walks of life and glimpse into life in different regions/countries. It has it's headaches, but frankly, so does any other job. And at the end of the day, you can say you were a part of something bigger than yourself.
Yeah, what she said.

Quote:
And, Lynnette, yes the drawdown has stopped. They have decided to keep the Air Force at it's current level, so they should be back to accepting people now. 2005/2006 were really tough years...especially for company grade officers.
Oh ok, good to know. We graduated in June 2005 so that would make sense. Guess even if he'd done AF ROTC we might have ended up in the Army anyway.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 09-10-2009, 08:01 AM
Lauren Reid's Avatar
Lauren Reid Lauren Reid is offline
Sweet Talker
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,629
Default

okay this is NOT going to be helpful, but Lynette made me think of it when she mentioned there are a lot of non-combat positions.........

when my DH enlisted and took the test to see what he'd qualify for... he passed for whatever the high up stuff is (like engineer and what not)... but when DH when to watch the tapes of all his options.... he CHOSE combat... and not only that he wanted to be one of those crazy guys that jumps out of planes (Airborne). And when he told the recruiter he wanted Infintry, he said "NO"!!!

hahahahah i guess he would get paid more if DH had taken a higher position.

anywho, that's my "husband's a nut" story.....

xooxox

ps. good luck w/ your military decision! xo
__________________
xo
Lauren

(aka L. Reid)



Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 09-10-2009, 09:36 AM
nesser1981's Avatar
nesser1981 nesser1981 is offline
SugarBabe
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: South Eastern Michigan
Posts: 7,186
Default

I just got out in June after 10 years in the Air Force.

If your husband has a degree he might be able to get a chaplin, but they still get deployed every so often.

I'd personally recommend the Air Force just because, well one, from what I've seen they do take better care of their people. Keep in mind I was in the Air Force, but I was stationed on an Army Base and Navy Base and my husband spent 4 years in the Navy.

The Air Force is of the 4 services I think the most like a job, the Army has longer deployments and they have more "military" related functions.

The Air Force bases their deployments off of a rotation, so he'd always know when his time was if he deployed.

I can tell you I worked in the intell field, so I worked weird hours which was hard when you're a mom, but I never deployed, the money was good, the heath care was great, I didn't like moving every 3 years, I wanted to stay home, now I would have been fine if my husband had stayed in, I would have be the dependant spouse.

They have tons of things for you and your kids to get involved with on base, if you work, their daycare is a lot cheaper than it is in the real world.

Don't forget with the Navy, you do run that risk of him spending 6 months at sea, that's one of the biggest reasons my husband got out, he didn't want to do sea duty.

Let me know if either one of you have any question.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 09-10-2009, 10:57 AM
Julie Billingsley's Avatar
Julie Billingsley Julie Billingsley is offline
The Ghost of Awesome Past
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,953
Default

oh and regarding the sea duty, depending on what type of ship the guy is stationed on, you might not be able to talk AT ALL to them while he is at sea. In the nuclear submarines, the whole point of them is that they are suppose to be untrackable... which means no communication. Which for a spouse means you don't get to email/phone/anything while they are gone. I was quite surprised to find other people could talk to their spouse while they were deployed. LOL So ask the recruiter how the communication would be for the field he is interested in.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 09-10-2009, 12:26 PM
Nettio's Avatar
Nettio Nettio is offline
Jabber-Jawbreaker
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,196
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauren Reid View Post
okay this is NOT going to be helpful, but Lynette made me think of it when she mentioned there are a lot of non-combat positions.........

when my DH enlisted and took the test to see what he'd qualify for... he passed for whatever the high up stuff is (like engineer and what not)... but when DH when to watch the tapes of all his options.... he CHOSE combat... and not only that he wanted to be one of those crazy guys that jumps out of planes (Airborne). And when he told the recruiter he wanted Infintry, he said "NO"!!!

hahahahah i guess he would get paid more if DH had taken a higher position.

anywho, that's my "husband's a nut" story.....

xooxox

ps. good luck w/ your military decision! xo
LOL! I told my DH there was no way I was allowing him to do Airborne. And yeah, combat positions are actually really sought after, I think partly for the cool factor. I was just glad my DH wasn't into all that, I don't think I would have married him then.

One other thing I wanted to mention, when my DH is home, his job is just like any job with pretty regular hours. He usually works about 9-4, and then hits the gym for an hour after so he's always home no later than 6, usually more like 5. He's actually been home as early as noon on some days, depending on what's going on. He almost never works weekends or nights either.

Because they know the deployments are tough, most commands try to give a lot of time off when they're home. All 3-day weekends are always 4 day weekends (that might be military wide, not sure), plus they have days where if they don't have activities or training planned, they get the day off. We've had quite a few times where there's been several 3-day work weeks because of the way the holidays fall.

Plus before and after deployments, and I think maybe Christmas and summer? they have what they call "block leave" which is when the entire unit is authorized to take vacation all at once. It's usually anywhere from 2-3 weeks which is pretty nice. It definitely beats only getting 2 weeks of vacation a year like most jobs.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 09-10-2009, 12:36 PM
junebug's Avatar
junebug junebug is offline
Sweet Talker
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Kokomo, Indiana
Posts: 3,729
Default

my husband was in the Army, but he was infantry, lol.

What's it like? it has its bad parts and really good parts. you have medical insurance, you get to shop at the PX-its tax free-you can make some really good friends. deployments SUCK, my dh being infantry was gone training all the time, weeks at a time usually. i was alone a lot but i managed just fine.
Do you have any say in where you go? sometimes you might be given a choice between a few bases, but not always.
Are your husband's gone a lot? depends on what you are doing i think. as is said, infantry=gone a lot, lol. since your dh doesn't want this, he may be home more.
Is it stressful? it can be.
Do they really "take care" of the family? they do, but its not perfect, lol.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 09-10-2009, 12:51 PM
nikkiARNGwife's Avatar
nikkiARNGwife nikkiARNGwife is offline
Jabber-Jawbreaker
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 8,023
Default

I just want to add, and I think it's kind of what we're all saying in a way too...Military is not a job..it's a lifestyle. I don't always love it, but it's who we are as a family. That said, it's not for everyone..I'm not trying to discourage you in anyway, but it's a big decision so you both need to be sure that you're up for it and you need to be able to say, "Yes, I can handle it." B/C once he signs on that dotted line, there's no turning back.

But there is not a day that goes by that I don't watch DH put on his uniform and go off to work that I'm not as proud as I can be of anyone in this world and that kind of makes it all worth it kwim?
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 09-10-2009, 01:04 PM
junebug's Avatar
junebug junebug is offline
Sweet Talker
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Kokomo, Indiana
Posts: 3,729
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nikkiARNGwife View Post
But there is not a day that goes by that I don't watch DH put on his uniform and go off to work that I'm not as proud as I can be of anyone in this world and that kind of makes it all worth it kwim?
ditto! i was SO proud of my dh. still am, but p****d off that he has PTSD and stuff as a result of being deployed, lol.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 09-10-2009, 01:05 PM
tkelley's Avatar
tkelley tkelley is offline
Such a Sweetie
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 139
Default

Wow! Y'all are great! When my husband approached me about it I KNEW you guys would be a huge help!!!

Just to answer questions:
My hubby is 29 and although he's no muscle man, he is in good health...he said he'd have to work on the "push up" requirement-lol. He hasn't taken the ASVAB yet, but he is very bright and I'm sure that won't be an issue. His degree is in early Childhood Education (Taught for 6 years). I do not think that I would enlist my self and I'd rather not work a "real" job. So we are hoping/thinking that our family could survive on his income alone. With 3 very small children and a very busy (or gone) daddy we want to make sure the kids would get all they need! DH's father was in the Air Force (years ago) and we "think" that seems best for a lot of reasons...but I don't think they as a big of signing bonuses (to wipe out debt) nor would they pay off all his student loans w/o a long commitment.

Like I had mentioned, we are looking to make this a 4 year or less commitment. He does want to go to seminary, we'd like to be free financially, etc. But, I guess anything could happen once we made that first step...
__________________
Enjoying Life!
-Tara


my gallery


Fan of:
ALL Sweet Shoppe Designers!
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 09-11-2009, 01:59 PM
nun69's Avatar
nun69 nun69 is offline
Sweetsaholic
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Roanoke, VA
Posts: 10,044
Send a message via Yahoo to nun69
Default

I just wanted to add about the student loans...when I came in and as far as I am still aware, you can submit a waiver to pay back your student loans once you are no longer on active duty military status....that doesn't mean you get out of paying them, just means that while you are in service, they can be deffered {but alot of people go ahead and pay them off while they are in, but don't acrue any extra intrest in paying them back}...I would for sure check into this option and see if it is still the case....that would also help you make a decision...

just FYI, if your husband has a degree, DO NOT let him go in enlisted, no matter what branch of service he decides to choose
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 09-11-2009, 09:37 PM
mmpalus's Avatar
mmpalus mmpalus is offline
Sweetie Pie
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Maryland
Posts: 32
Default

I echo the comments from the others who posted about coming in as an officer. The benefits are so much better and the pay difference is significant. As a SAHM, with just your husband's income, your family will need that extra money. If your husband does sign up, he needs to make sure all the details and agreements are spelled out in writing.

My DH is in the Navy Reserves and started as a Petty Officer but was commissioned as an officer last year. He deployed to Afghanistan in 2007, which was the first time he actually went but not the first time he was on the list to go.

Since your DH's degree is in child development, maybe he could look into becoming a director of a military child development center. As a civilian member of the military, he gets a lot of the benefits without the risk of deployment. Education reimbursement is available, although not repayment of back student loans. He could also look into joining as a Reservist. Higher education is paid for after x number of years in service.

To answer your questions:
"What's it like?"
It's different for Reservists and their families, in that the usual support system just isn't there full-time. I was lucky, in that I live in a region with a large military presence, so there was access to those services. As the daughter of a career Air Force officer, I know the difference between the 2 situations. From a family-support view, it would have been much easier if my DH had been full-time Navy. But, his civilian employer filled in a lot of those gaps for us; letting us keep his health insurance, holding his job open for 2 years if needed, giving him military pay for the first month of deployment. Many employers can't/won't provide that kind of safety net.

"Do you have any say in where you go?"
Not an issue for Reservists, as the families don't usually follow on deployments. The service member has more options for selecting a unit, although in smaller cities and towns, the choices are limited.

"Are your husband's gone a lot?"
Not a big issue for Navy Reservists, much more significant for Army Reservists, as they are deploying for longer periods and more frequently. Navy reservists serve 2 weeks a year and one weekend a month.

"Is it stressful?"
It was for me, since I had a 2-year-old at home and we lived 10 hours away from our families. But my boss and co-workers were really supportive and I found a wonderful babysitter to help out on weekends.

I'll be honest though, it was very lonely at times and it felt like the burden of carrying the family was on me 24 hours, 7 days a week.

"Do they really "take care" of the family?"
Yes, all branches of the military do so, although some might be better than others. I work with a lot of former military people and military dependents; most say the Air Force provides better housing and more benefits. This is a big difference from when I grew up, as the military didn't do a great job supporting the families in the 50's and 60's (my dad retired when I was 5 so my experiences were different from my older siblings).

Like the others say, it would be up to you to reach out for help or guidance. The family support groups are there for you, but you have to either make the first move or be receptive to offers of help.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 09-11-2009, 10:06 PM
sjford0419's Avatar
sjford0419 sjford0419 is offline
So Sweet
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 396
Default

What's it like?
For me, not bad at all. I grew up in an Air Force family - my Dad retired from the AF, both of my brothers are in the Air Force. I married a Marine! So I am very used to the military "lifestyle". Yes, my husband is gone often. More so now than ever before (we have been together for 13 years)

Do you have any say in where you go?

The Marine Corps does have a wish list of sorts, but as the smallest branch of the armed forces, there are very few Marine Corps bases so our choices are limited. So far, we were only sent to one place that we didn't request and that was Tempe, Arizona for recruiting duty - but it was nice there and I loved it!

Are your husband's gone a lot?
Yes. My husband has deployed to Iraq 4 times and will be deploying again in a few months.(but he has never been gone for more than 6 months at a time)

Is it stressful?
Because I am used to the military lifestyle and I understand that my husband is doing his job (which I am extremely proud of) I have grown accustomed to the separations. When he is here, definitely no stress at all! He works regular hours, great holidays, lots of vacation days...not bad at all!

Do they really "take care" of the family?
I would have to say yes. I have only lived in base housing once, but it was brand new. Many of the bases are now privatizing their homes...meaning that they are using outside companies to build and maintain the homes. What does this mean? They are getting rid of the crappy old military housing and putting up brand new modern houses! I live near Parris Island and they have built so many new homes that I barely recognize it! Just 10 years ago, those houses were awful and no one wanted to live there - now everyone wants to live on base!

Not only that, there are SO many organizations on base so it is easy to make friends, etc.
As far as healthcare, not paying for anything is nice. I don't see a Dr. on a military base because I requested otherwise and I still don't pay a dime! I take my prescriptions on base and even things that most people have to buy (Motrin, Tylenol, etc.) I just ask my Dr. to write a script and I get it for free.
__________________
Sam

Happy to be creating for....

Last edited by sjford0419; 09-11-2009 at 10:15 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 09-11-2009, 10:13 PM
lovely1m's Avatar
lovely1m lovely1m is offline
Sweetsaholic
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 10,224
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nun69 View Post
I just wanted to add I am currently on active duty Navy and I would personally recommend looking into the Air Force as an option{don't get me wrong girls I am not knocking in of the other services because I just spent 7 months with the Army and they were AWESOME}....BUT the 18 1/2 years I have been in, the Air Force treats their people ALOT better than the other services when it comes to just about everything...{i may be wrong on some of these things, but this is what I have gathered over the years}...their housing is 10X better than any other military housing I've seen in the other branches, you can be in a certain area for longer than the Navy {this I know}, and they seem to make rank { means they move up the ladder in income and responsibility} faster than the Navy and overall I get the feel that people in the Air Force never have any regerts where some people in other services do...
As someone who does the Air Guard full-time, I fully agree with the Air Force. It does seem to be better and an added benefit, our deployments are MUCH shorter. The longest we go is 6 months and that is only certain more critical jobs, most only go for 3-4 months.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 09-12-2009, 02:37 PM
MamaK's Avatar
MamaK MamaK is offline
So Sweet
 
profile gallery send pm
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: USAF Monterey CA
Posts: 361
Default

What's it like? we're Air Force and the family support is excellent!!! I can't imagine NOT being in the military when dh finally retires. lol i don't worry about medical, dental, schools, housing, relocation, filing taxes, everything is covered and there are programs and support for everything you need. We have a school liaison here because there are no on-base schools so the liaison helps us get our kids placed where they need to be.

Do you have any say in where you go? it depends on the job. He may get some say in where you'd like to be stationed but they give you certain options. You usually have a choice of whether the family tags along or stays put. When dh went to Korea, we opted to go too and loved the experience!

Are your husband's gone a lot? TDY or deployed may depend on the job as well. My dh is gone right now, it is the 5th deployment we've been through being married for 12 years, so that isn't too bad.

Is it stressful? of course if dh is TDY and you hold down the fort. sometimes dh isn't thoroughly pleased with his job in certain areas, each time we move to a new place his job involves something slightly different or it could be the people with whom he is working. maybe not so much stress as it is frustration with the system at times.

Do they really "take care" of the family? there are SO many services available! assistance, programs, and then the community of families going through the same things you are! so much support from the military family.
__________________
:Kristianne:
Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:25 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
All Creative Content © 2007 SweetShoppeDesigns

Making your memories sweeter

Copyright © 2016 Sweet Shoppe Designs – The Sweetest Digital Scrapbooking Site on the Web | Site by Lilac Creative