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Old 05-18-2015, 09:08 PM
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Default Funny things kids say...

I work at a school with 2nd and 3rd graders. I run the computer lab. Today I was laying on my back under one of the tables dealing with a mess of ethernet cables that the kids had kicked loose and managed to tangle up. I had zip ties and was going to work making sense of it all. A couple of kids were in the lab using laptops. As one of the kids finished up and started to leave he stopped, waved to me and said "Bye Mrs. Tierney, enjoy your nap!".

He said it in such a matter of fact way, like all day he saw adults lying on the floor taking naps, that I couldn't help but laugh.

What's your kid funny of the day? (Week, year... )
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Old 05-18-2015, 09:44 PM
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Mason's new thing is to point at people and say "Not your business, person!"
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Old 05-18-2015, 10:05 PM
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Too cute, Trish!

The other day one of the kids was jumping around in the lunch line putting all of his weight on the serving bar that runs across the front of the food warming cart. This cart is OLD and has seen better days. This 60 (probably) pound kid was causing the whole serving bar on the side to bow in the middle as he put both hands on it and pushed off, jumping up and down. I asked him to stop jumping and explained that the cart is older than I am and it might break. His eyes got really wide and he looked at me and said "Oh my gosh! You mean it is 25 years old?!" I must have looked at him funny because he said "I figure you are about 24, is that right Mrs. Tierney?" - I thanked him and sent him on his way. LOL I turned 41 a few months ago.
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Old 05-18-2015, 11:42 PM
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Sherri, that's too funny the students thought you were napping on the floor!! I hope you were able to get the cables all put back together--that can be such a pain!!

That's hysterical that he thinks/says that!! He sounds like a ham!!

I don't think I have any funny stories that my kids say, but I loved reading your stories!!
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Old 05-18-2015, 11:46 PM
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LOL, Sherri and Trish. I love writing down my kids' cute quotes.

Last week my 3rd grader had a field trip to a mill to learn about simple machines like levers and pulleys. When I picked him up at school, he could barely wait until the doors opened to tell me the most interesting thing he'd learned on the trip: that the family that built the mill (in the early 1800's) had 20 children.

It's always fun to hear what little kids think about time. My kindergartener was telling me this week about when George Washington was President, "a hundred million years ago." Back when she was about 2 or 3, she thought that I (and all moms) was 15. Luckily not, but having someone think I'm 25 is sounding good right about now!
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Old 05-19-2015, 12:02 AM
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hahahaha that's really hilarious
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Old 05-19-2015, 12:48 AM
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Well, the baby can't talk yet, so I just have my almost-6-year-old daughter's quotes to amuse you with.

Let's see... she said that she's friends with mostly boys at school because they are easier to boss around. She's also said that boys should have their own song like 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,' but it would be called 'Boys Are Gross.'

When talking abt moving from where we live now, her burning questions included, 'Will they have stores?' 'Will we bring food with us?' 'Will we still have a computer?'

DH loves to say nonsensical things like, 'How was school today? Did you win?' After her usual, 'I didn't win anything, Daddy!' she one time muttered under her breath, 'Ridiculous.' I could not stop laughing.

She always sings Ms. Trainor's song as 'All abt that bass in trouble...'

The funniest thing she has ever said, though, was when my mom was driving my nephew, my sister, her, and me home from the zoo and she proudly told everyone that I had lots of nipples. When everyone started giggling, I told her that I did not and to please explain herself. She meant moles. My mom almost had to pull the car off the road from cry-laughing.
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Old 05-19-2015, 01:03 AM
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ROFL!! These are too funny!!
And, LeeAndra, that last one!! Hahahaha....
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Old 05-19-2015, 04:19 AM
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I don't have any kids, but loved reading these stories. That last one was hilarious LeeAndra!
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Old 05-19-2015, 10:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeeAndra View Post
When talking abt moving from where we live now, her burning questions included, 'Will they have stores?' 'Will we bring food with us?' 'Will we still have a computer?'
That's funny!! My 11 and 13 year old were asking me questions very similar to your daughter's questions when I told them Daddy got orders to a new duty station. Their biggest questions:
"Is there a Kohls?"
"Will we have internet?"
<---in all fairness, hubby is currently in Cuba, where internet is VERY limited, so this is always a concern for them to stay in touch with family & friends

Of course, I asked hubby when he told me and immediately googled:
"Is there an Ikea?"
"What about Chick-fil-a?"
"Ooh will there be a Sonic or 7-11 within a reasonable driving distance?"


I think at any age, we ask those silly questions when talking about a move!
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Old 05-19-2015, 10:29 AM
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For years, my father would say "I'm off to work to make donuts". I think he even said that since I was a little girl! A few years ago on one of my visits with my parents, my father was laid off from work and he told us that he was bringing his stuff home from his office. As my dad brought in his things, the girls kept looking for something. After he was done bringing his stuff in the house, the girls asked, "where are the donuts?" We found out for YEARS the girls thought my dad worked at a donut factory and wondered why he never brought home donuts if he was the one making them!! They were VERY disappointed to learn that he was the head of Technology in an area school district and not a donut-maker! He has since been out of work for several years and every once in a while the kids will bring up "hey do you remember when you made donuts?" and every once in a while when my dad goes out, he'll bring home a box of donuts for the girls! Silly girls!
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Old 05-19-2015, 03:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeeAndra View Post
The funniest thing she has ever said, though, was when my mom was driving my nephew, my sister, her, and me home from the zoo and she proudly told everyone that I had lots of nipples. When everyone started giggling, I told her that I did not and to please explain herself. She meant moles. My mom almost had to pull the car off the road from cry-laughing.
O.M.G.
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Old 05-19-2015, 03:57 PM
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These are hilarious. My kids are older, but when Eden was 3 the rest of us were eating lunch or something and she was in the living room watching the Disney channel. All of a sudden she comes bursting into the room we were in and says, "I'm watching Princess Diarrhea!"

It was Princess Diaries, LOL!
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Old 05-19-2015, 05:17 PM
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My dad works for a gas company. Somehow it came up a couple of months ago that my baby sister (who is a very smart twelve year old) thought he "pumped gas" like at a gas station. My parents about died laughing.

Actually, the other day she asked my mom, "Do we ever have to refill the gas in the stove?"

Apparently, she finds the entire gas industry very confusing. lol.
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Old 05-19-2015, 08:32 PM
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These are too funny!!

We were talking about moving not long ago. We were asking the kids what kinds of features they wanted in our new house. Our 12 year old daughter had big demands. Our 9 year old son said "give me a cardboard box to sleep in as long as it has fast wifi" LOL

When my son was 4 we were going to Arizona over spring break. We kept talking about the trip to people. Someone asked him where we were going and he said we were going to Arizona. When they asked what we were going to do there, he said we were going to watch trash trucks. It took forever for us to understand where the trash truck comment came from. Turns out he thought we were saying we were going to see the grand can (not Grand Canyon) and he figured they must have really cool trash trucks if we were traveling all that way to see a big can. It still cracks me up when I think about it.
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Old 05-19-2015, 10:40 PM
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When Cole first started school. His teacher told him play time was over to go sit in his seat. He said, "Mrs. Smith I'm trying but, my legs are just not listening!" She said she had to turn around because, it cracked her up so much!

Easter Cole and I were dying eggs. When I said, "Okay Cole but the egg in the dye." He said, "Mama put the egg in the diarrhea?" I said, "Yes, Cole!"
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Old 05-20-2015, 12:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Valgal View Post
These are hilarious. My kids are older, but when Eden was 3 the rest of us were eating lunch or something and she was in the living room watching the Disney channel. All of a sudden she comes bursting into the room we were in and says, "I'm watching Princess Diarrhea!"

It was Princess Diaries, LOL!
that's priceless!!! I have to share with my daughter who loves those movies and would totally get the misunderstanding from her brother!! Oh and I almost laughed too loudly, which would result in waking two of the three children!! Thanks for the laughter tonight!!
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Old 05-20-2015, 09:48 AM
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Years ago, when Rachel was about 3, she went through a very complimentary phase. She'd compliment just about anybody about the oddest little thing. Sweet.

So one day hubby is sitting on the couch in just his pj pants. Well, he's chunky. She walked up to him, poked him in the nipple, and said "Daddy, I love your boobs."

My drink snorted out my nose I laughed so hard.
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Old 05-20-2015, 04:13 PM
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These are so funny! I work as a substitute teacher for grades K-5 and the kids are always cracking me up. Of course, I can't think of any funny ones when prompted. ;-)
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Old 05-20-2015, 06:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sherri Tierney View Post
These are too funny!!
When my son was 4 we were going to Arizona over spring break. We kept talking about the trip to people. Someone asked him where we were going and he said we were going to Arizona. When they asked what we were going to do there, he said we were going to watch trash trucks. It took forever for us to understand where the trash truck comment came from. Turns out he thought we were saying we were going to see the grand can (not Grand Canyon) and he figured they must have really cool trash trucks if we were traveling all that way to see a big can. It still cracks me up when I think about it.
This is hysterical!!!! Maybe your son can tell my why my kid calls the 'Elevated Train' in Chicago the 'honey train'. Locales call it the 'L'. We have NO idea why it's the honey train???? Now that my son is 8 he can't remember either....except that it's the honey train....
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Old 05-20-2015, 10:59 PM
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The other day my husband said something funny and my youngest (7) said "Are you being serious or are you saying that to be "sar-candace'" We loved it!
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Old 05-21-2015, 09:10 AM
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A year after we gained custody of Adrienne, I believe she was going on 5 years at the time, I was trying to talk on the phone, and she was aggravating me to where I couldn't talk, it was an important phone call!
I told her I was going to duct tape her mouth if she didn't be quiet! Just kidding of course but she did settle down. A few months later, I had actually forgot the statement I had made before, she started again while I was on the phone. After I hung up she asked me if I wanted her to get the duct tape. I said what on earth for? She said so you can tape my mouth shut! I burst out laughing because she had remembered but I had forgot!
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Old 05-21-2015, 07:19 PM
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My daughter, Julie, is of Korean ancestry and one day we were driving in the car and we were talking about how African Americans were treated very badly with slavery, etc., and my son blurts out "But Julie's African American!"

I have no idea where he got that notion from.
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