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Old 09-07-2021, 12:04 PM
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Default How social are you?

When it comes to being social, how would you rate yourself? Are you better in person or online? Do you have a lot of friends or a close circle with just a few. Are you more about friends or family?

I'm not very social. Okay, I am not at all social. I have always been a person who needs her own space and time to do her own thing. I have never felt lonely, even though I am alone a lot, and I can entertain myself very well. My son says I live in my head too much and he is probably right, but I like it there. It is my comfort zone and even though I think comfort zones are their own issue, I don't feel the need to change it.

I think I am better on line because I can edit what I say more. I tend to speak my mind and that is not always a good thing since I am pretty opinionated and not one to sugar coat anything. Because of that, I hear that I am mean, a lot. That always hurts my feelings and makes me mad at the same time which does not help the mean perception. Kinda hard to convince people you are nice when you are yelling "I'm not mean" at them.

I ask too many questions because I need things to make sense which most people find irritating, especially since I take things very literally. I have a dry sense of humor, but am pretty easily amused and will laugh at the stupidest things, but I don't always get jokes or understand what is "funny" to everyone else. I am usually out of step with other people.

I know I am socially awkward in person, but it is not as bad online, I hope, so I tend to do most of my socializing on line, in this forum. You all are my peeps! If that scares you, I am sorry.

In real life my social circle is my family and a few close friends. My sister and my son are my two best friends, and I am really close to my DIL as well. We chat all the time and see each other as often as possible, or as often as a bunch of introverts thinks is necessary. My DIL is an extrovert, so she gets us together regularly for family fun days.

That's me and my social life in a nut shell. Now I want to hear about yours. (This goes back to I ask a lot of questions...)
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Old 09-07-2021, 12:40 PM
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I am pretty much a loner as far as socially out there. I am close to family members and my daughter and I talk daily, we hang out with family sometimes two or three times a week ... but that being said thats as far as I really go.

I am not saying this as a sob story but I grew up in such a way that I still feel like I am bothering people when I try to talk to them or want to be their friend. I do not know how to go about it. I always feel like they are too cool for me. For the longest time I was so used to people being mean that I put up a horrible, angry wall and now that I am learning to live with out that wall... its kinda lonely without friends.

So, I think I am really social but with maybe a select few trusted people. lol Does that make sense.

I am also guilty of being honest and open though I have learned to be a little gentler about it over the years lol
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Old 09-07-2021, 01:04 PM
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I am pretty much a loner as far as socially out there. I am close to family members and my daughter and I talk daily, we hang out with family sometimes two or three times a week ... but that being said thats as far as I really go.

I am not saying this as a sob story but I grew up in such a way that I still feel like I am bothering people when I try to talk to them or want to be their friend. I do not know how to go about it. I always feel like they are too cool for me. For the longest time I was so used to people being mean that I put up a horrible, angry wall and now that I am learning to live with out that wall... its kinda lonely without friends.

So, I think I am really social but with maybe a select few trusted people. lol Does that make sense.

I am also guilty of being honest and open though I have learned to be a little gentler about it over the years lol
Makes total sense to me. I grew up feeling the same way, which is why I preferred being on my own. Not that my parents were mean, but my brother was sick and needed their attention, so I was taught to be quiet, entertain myself and stay out of the way. I still do that except for the quiet part. I was shy and had a stutter when I was little so I didn't talk much. That has changed over the years. But I need to learn that gentler thing you are talking about.
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Old 09-07-2021, 01:45 PM
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Being an only child, I grew up learning how to amuse myself. Oh the imaginary friends that I had at times! And, I am an introvert until I get to know people. So I am that wallflower when in new to me situations. Once I get to know you though...

I have had my social circles throughout the years and they have ebbed and flowed as to how my life was going at the time. And, because of the internet I have made some good friends through my mutual love of scrapbooking. I've gone to quite a few retreats and met a lot of those people in person. Am I close to them, most of them not at all but there are a few that have been there for me when needed.

IMO, the internet has been a wonderful thing in my life for over 25 years. And, even though the last 18 months have been hard because of COVID, it was brought some very good things to my life. Last Thursday night I was able to watch my cousin's son play college football online. Did it last spring as well. Heck the last game last spring we had a group text going during the game with Dad at the game in Indiana, Dad's sister in southeast Ohio, Dad's brother in Orlando and me in west central Ohio all watching and commenting. We had the best time!

I will also say I was way more social 30 years ago than I am today. I also think that as I have aged I have just become more comfortable at home.
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Old 09-07-2021, 02:02 PM
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I'm a pretty social person, but I tend to keep a tight social circle. I don't think of myself in B&W terms of being an introvert or an extrovert. I find them so limiting. I have close friends I hang out with/chat with regularly and consider them my family. I have missed seeing so many people during COVID! My US-based family is small and spread out, but we keep in touch through phone/text/zoom. I am grateful for all of them as we have kept each other sane during this crazy time! I also enjoy spending time alone, reading, snacking, and watching TV.

I think I'm better in person, but have found joy in developing friendships with people online here at SSD, because no one I know in-person scrapbooks in any way. It's nice to chat with others who share your hobby and love crafting!
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Old 09-07-2021, 02:30 PM
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I'm good either way, I'm comfortable with or without others around. As an only child, I learned to be self-sufficient, to amuse myself and spend time by myself. I love to be in my office, scrapping, watching shows and justing being alone (with the dogs). But then I also love to hang out with hubs, the family and friends and am really chatty with people so everywhere I go I end up chatting for long periods of time. Dog walking at the park takes forever, partly b/c the dogs wander off into the bush and explore and partly because I stop and chat with all the dog owners along the way and often we end up all walking together in one big pack.
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Old 09-07-2021, 02:42 PM
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I feel this post on so many levels. I'm also not very social in person.... I love my own time and space, i'm typically the quiet one the odd time I am in a social situation and I have been told (and over heard) many times that that makes me "unapproachable" or that it gives off a "bitchy vibe".... I have just always been more of a listener than a talker, and I like to observe behaviours buuuuttt.... I guess because I don't enjoy flapping my jaws i'm a B****. lol Anyone who ACTUALLY knows me, knows that's not the case at all and that i'm the first person who would give the shirt off my back if it meant helping someone else, or that I am the best shoulder to cry on because I pass no judgement, but I have a hard time meeting new people and having them see that side because they never stick around long enough to get past the quiet stage. and this goes for family as well! My siblings, inlaws, even my Mom have no idea who I am, they much prefer talking about me than talking to me (which again, as an observer, I hear way more than they think I do).

I have 1 friend that I would actually spend time with, but we don't get to very often, and even when we are together we still send funny texts and laugh our butts off.... heck when we were roommates we used to text from across the apartment and could hear each other laughing in the other rooms LOL

I thrive in the online world.... one of my biggest fears is being put on the spot, so online I can have that minute to think and not feel "stupid" because I don't have a quick response. It's my happy space (not so much lately with everyone fighting over everything). Over the years I have curated my friends lists... made it less about adding everyone I had ever met and just keeping the people that I enjoy having around.... this has meant unfriending a lot of people from school days, and even some family members.... I will admit, I do have a handful of people left in my lists that I WISH I had better friendships with, or people that I fell out of touch with that I wish I had the guts to just strike up a convo and talk with more, but I am pretty much a chicken s*** when it comes to making the first move (and that happens a lot here in the forums too... I'll read responses and laugh to myself, or relate to it entirely, but I sometimes just can't put together what I feel are the right words to basically say 'lol' or 'me too'..... I really want to work on that.... I love it here, and would love to have this feel like more of a chatty place for me than I have let it been so far).
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Old 09-07-2021, 02:49 PM
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So so I'd say. I love chatting with people I enjoy at work, but I'm not big on going out. I'm a homebody. I don't really have close friends, I'm not from where I live now, I've made some friends, but not ones that I hang out with a ton.

Mostly I hang with the hubby, his parents & sister if we socialize. And I just went back to offices last week, so I've done the first socializing I've really done in 18 months outside of zoom.
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Old 09-07-2021, 02:58 PM
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I have turned into the most people hating person since covid started. I wasn't very sociable before anyway. Talking to people always made me sweat and be so uncomfortable. Making me think in my head what I was going to say exactly and then finally finding the courage to say it... and then sounding so dumb! Sometimes I sound very abrupt and forward, and after, I realize I probably shouldn't have spoken.

It took me 3 storytime to finally find the courage to go talk to a French speaking mom (from Quebec) at the local library. She then became one of my best friends but how dumb am I for passing on those opportunities!? What's the worst that could happen? Sounding stupid and never seeing that person again... but it is so much work. Same for phone calls. I dread them. I never understand fully (being from another country) and end up making decisions I didn't want to make and having to call again to change my appointment or whatnot...

Having moved from where I finally had found friends after living in Tacoma, WA for 10 years, I have to do it all again and I can't stand it! I have no friends, or just acquaintances and I haven't found people I click with or just laugh with. It makes me so sad and discouraged because it's hard.

I'm very close to my mom and we sometimes call each other every day. We have very strong differences but somehow she's still my person. I have a big sister too but we don't manage to call each other very much. We get along though. And of course I live in the US and my entire family is in France so that makes it hard. We don't see each other.

One day I'll find a job after all my kids have gone to school and am really hoping the people there can become friends because I have no other outlet.
But when I have close friends that I can share anything with I am not shy at all!
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Old 09-07-2021, 03:22 PM
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I'm an introvert. Enough said. lol
I have my circle of close peeps and I'm fine with that.
I observe all and interact little. I am content to sit in the shadows and watch everyone even at work in meetings.
As an adult I don't live near any of my circle except hubby and kids so I'm usually at home with them and I'm ok with that.

Being an introvert and a writer, I excel at expressing my thoughts in written form, so online definitely works better for socializing.
I have made some close peeps in these forums and I'm content with that too! ♥♥
You're my peeps for sure
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Old 09-07-2021, 03:51 PM
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I am definitely better online. I am an introvert by nature. My husband and son are both extroverts though so that's always weird.
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Old 09-07-2021, 03:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LJSDesigns View Post
When it comes to being social, how would you rate yourself? Are you better in person or online? Do you have a lot of friends or a close circle with just a few. Are you more about friends or family?

I'm not very social. Okay, I am not at all social. I have always been a person who needs her own space and time to do her own thing. I have never felt lonely, even though I am alone a lot, and I can entertain myself very well. My son says I live in my head too much and he is probably right, but I like it there. It is my comfort zone and even though I think comfort zones are their own issue, I don't feel the need to change it.

I think I am better on line because I can edit what I say more. I tend to speak my mind and that is not always a good thing since I am pretty opinionated and not one to sugar coat anything. Because of that, I hear that I am mean, a lot. That always hurts my feelings and makes me mad at the same time which does not help the mean perception. Kinda hard to convince people you are nice when you are yelling "I'm not mean" at them.

I ask too many questions because I need things to make sense which most people find irritating, especially since I take things very literally. I have a dry sense of humor, but am pretty easily amused and will laugh at the stupidest things, but I don't always get jokes or understand what is "funny" to everyone else. I am usually out of step with other people.

I know I am socially awkward in person, but it is not as bad online, I hope, so I tend to do most of my socializing on line, in this forum. You all are my peeps! If that scares you, I am sorry.

In real life my social circle is my family and a few close friends. My sister and my son are my two best friends, and I am really close to my DIL as well. We chat all the time and see each other as often as possible, or as often as a bunch of introverts thinks is necessary. My DIL is an extrovert, so she gets us together regularly for family fun days.

That's me and my social life in a nut shell. Now I want to hear about yours. (This goes back to I ask a lot of questions...)

I think we would be bffs.
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Old 09-07-2021, 04:39 PM
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I'm an introvert so socialization is exhausting but I still like to do it sometimes. Communication-wise, I am best online & in email/text. Socialization-wise, I am best in small groups or one-on-one. I'm a real chatterbox with my friends & family but it takes awhile to get me to warm up & get that comfortable with someone.

We have a weekly family dinner where I see my immediate family. We also celebrate holidays together. My mom often goes with me & the kids when we're doing something like the zoo, the pumpkin patch, etc.

I have several close friends but most of them live far away so I don't get to see them often. I have one good friend here in town + some friends & friendly acquaintances that I've made from volunteering, church, and previous jobs. I don't see them all that often in-person since they're all busy with their own lives but I try to schedule things with them when they're open to it. Now that I have my own house, I plan on hosting dinners, holidays, parties, etc. when I can. Fortunately, my boyfriend is a former restaurant chef so even though socializing is not high on his list, he'll do it if I ask and then we'll have yummy food to eat (that I won't have to make -- ha!).

I really don't see many people during the week except my kids, my boyfriend, and my immediate family (well, and my coworkers on Zoom) but I'm going to work on that now that we're settled into the house and all the fall school/sports/activities have started up again.

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Old 09-07-2021, 06:07 PM
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My parents were immigrants and really did not let me have that many friends growing up. I really was allowed to have one friend to do things with, and if anything went wrong in school, then she got blamed for my academic failures. I think that's why to this day I really don't have many "in person" friends besides my husband. We get along just fine, so that is a good thing I guess. And I am not upset about that.

I chat with my sister everyday. She is 14 years my junior, and I was gone by the time she came an age where the age difference between us wouldn't have been an issue.

I have quite a few online friends that I chat with, so I am much more social online than in person.
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Old 09-07-2021, 07:29 PM
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I think we would be bffs.
I would love that!
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Old 09-07-2021, 07:56 PM
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I am with my people but I also like my me time as well. I get overwhelmed if I have too much interaction. I love being around people though for bursts...like church, bible study, small family gatherings etc.

I can be awkward and blunt though...LOL I have never been a "soft" person. I am not that fluffy sweet mom to my kids either...I have boys and I am more of a suck it up buddy kind of mom with them. I give hugs when needed and love but not an overly lovey dovey kind of person. I will tell ya like it is...LOL
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Old 09-07-2021, 07:57 PM
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I'm pretty social, in a loner kind of way? Like I'll say hi to anyone and have a short, meaningless conversation, but the deep conversations and friendships that *mean* something - they're mostly online. I have a handful of friends IRL that I hang out with, but honestly most of the time I'd rather spend time with hubby and kids, or if there's a night he's not home I loooooooove to spend it by myself (because they're few and far between). I would say I have way more friends online than I do IRL
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Old 09-07-2021, 10:47 PM
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I am social, but I am a very loud person. I guess it comes from a middle kid thing where you need to make yourself heard. I am the middle of the girls and then there is my big brother.
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Old 09-07-2021, 11:43 PM
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I am such an introvert and a homebody. Right now I feel like I'm at a stage of my life where all my "people-ing" energy is spent on my immediate family (DH and kids) or at work (preschool students and co-workers). Although I like the idea of having friends, I'd be a terrible, unavailable friend at this stage of my life. Casual friendships with coworkers and fellow graduate students, where we talk a little at school but don't make plans or call/text, fit me for now.

I like me better online because I'm able to think before I respond. I'm a super nice person and wouldn't say anything to annoy or offend in real life, but the first thing out of my mouth is never as true or good a reply as I'd give if I thought for a few minutes first. (And when it comes to needing to voice any kind of disagreement or hard truths, I just say nothing if I don't get that time to process and choose my words before I speak.) But I also find it hard to get to know people or make friends online, so I suppose real life interaction is the only way I make friends.
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Old 09-07-2021, 11:50 PM
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not very. im extremely awkward. i'm really lucky my husband is very patient. i'm even luckier that my personality is very geared towards taking good care of my kids. i'd be by myself if i didn't have that going for me. ^_^
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Old 09-07-2021, 11:52 PM
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Very. I love people!
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Old 09-08-2021, 01:01 AM
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I don't consider myself social. I have a small group of family and friends that I stay connected with, and also my online friends and family. I would rather socialize on a smaller scale though instead of in large groups. I find I feel so drained otherwise regardless of how good a time it was.
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Old 09-08-2021, 06:35 AM
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Well, yes and no. I call myself an "extroverted introvert," meaning I want to do all the things and see everyone, and then I die because I'm so exhausted by all of it. And in my head, I'm NOT very social--would rather stay home, prefer close relationships instead of lots of acquaintances, hate crowds, etc--and then I look at my scrapbooks and realize that I am out and about, seeing all the people and doing all the things way more often than I think I am. My husband is very social, and my son wants to be "with his own kind" (his own words-- I laughed so hard, I couldn't help it. He means other teenagers) 24/7. So I end up socializing because I want to hang with them and do whatever they're doing.

I LOVE online friends. I like to say that I have this whole secret life online that hardly anyone in my "real life" even knows about. And I plan to keep it that way, lol!
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Old 09-08-2021, 08:57 AM
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I am so so so so so not social irl. I love being social online though. Feels so safe and noone will judge me for how I look or stare at me etc. I'd rather stay home in my safe space for sure.
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Old 09-08-2021, 11:39 AM
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Not social - 100% introvert. I'm way more outgoing online... I don't have that type of friend that would take me to the airport or just get a cup of coffee. I have a group of gals that we chat on IM daily... that is the closest I would have to friends. :/
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Old 09-08-2021, 12:18 PM
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I'm a bit of both introvert and extrovert I think. We have a small social circle of close friends (more like family) that we tend to do everything with, and a huge circle of extended friends that we see on occasion. I do just fine in group situations. I can talk to anyone about anything really (wine helps with that!), but it helps if they're talkative too, otherwise it's a tad painful. I used to be quite shy as a kid, but working in a bar in college cured me of that. If I wanted my tips, then I had to get over that right quick! LOL

All that said, I really value my quiet time. I'm good at being alone and rarely feel lonely. Having my online social outlet here helps with that immensely. I'm quite happy to be on my own, doing my own thing. I find I need that refresher time after being in a big group especially.
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Old 09-08-2021, 03:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HavaDrPepper View Post
Being an only child, I grew up learning how to amuse myself. Oh the imaginary friends that I had at times! And, I am an introvert until I get to know people. So I am that wallflower when in new to me situations. Once I get to know you though...

I have had my social circles throughout the years and they have ebbed and flowed as to how my life was going at the time. And, because of the internet I have made some good friends through my mutual love of scrapbooking. I've gone to quite a few retreats and met a lot of those people in person. Am I close to them, most of them not at all but there are a few that have been there for me when needed.

IMO, the internet has been a wonderful thing in my life for over 25 years. And, even though the last 18 months have been hard because of COVID, it was brought some very good things to my life. Last Thursday night I was able to watch my cousin's son play college football online. Did it last spring as well. Heck the last game last spring we had a group text going during the game with Dad at the game in Indiana, Dad's sister in southeast Ohio, Dad's brother in Orlando and me in west central Ohio all watching and commenting. We had the best time!

I will also say I was way more social 30 years ago than I am today. I also think that as I have aged I have just become more comfortable at home.
That is so cool about the football game. Covid has taught us a lot of way to connect remotely with family and friends. Me, my sister and DIL shop on line together. That is always fun and funny. Sometimes we do it and don't buy a thing, but laugh our butts off at each other and what we think would look good on the others.

I too have gotten less social with age. I really just appreciate the peace and quiet of my own home more than anything else.
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Old 09-08-2021, 04:23 PM
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When it comes to being social, how would you rate yourself?
I am a horrible introvert - like if I could have my select few people interact with me via text and hug them once a week, I'd be happy as a clam!! BUT on the same token, when I go out and about, (I have to work/convince myself A LOT to make that happen) I "appear" to be an extrovert with how chatty I can get with people. I used to think I was strange until I took a personality test and realized that I am actually "normal" in appearing to be extroverted, but actually introverted!

Are you better in person or online?
Oh my heaven's, SO much better online! I can't tell you how many times I type things out, look at it, re-read it, edit it....often copy/paste in to Word for spelling errors. Read again in Word and then maybe, press enter or delete what I was trying to say in the first place.

In voice, once it's said whether it's right or wrong, it's out there!

Do you have a lot of friends or a close circle with just a few.
If you asked me a few years ago I'd say VERY "close circle", but this past year I have plenty of friends!!! However the ones that I trust, talk to daily and confide is very small, so I guess still a close circle, that's a little bit larger than it was a year ago.

Are you more about friends or family?
I don't know how to answer this...once you are a friend, you are family even though it's not by blood or marriage. Dawn has been my sister for what seems like forever! She's family even though she's one of my best friends!
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Old 09-08-2021, 08:58 PM
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I am pretty social. I talk to everyone and anyone. Love hanging out with my few close friends and some family. (but mostly my hubbys side of the family) BUT that being said, I have def become a homebody.... working from home since 2012.... The kids n hubby hate to go shopping with me cause we almost always run into someone I know and we talk and talk...lol

I was always very chatty and in high school and college was very outgoing.... class officer, yearbook editor, student council, etc.... As I have gotten older, I sometimes feel more awkward in some social situations... but I think that had a lot to do with my confidence and self image...

I am not very close to most of my family. I do talk and hang out with one of my sisters. I have two.... the other sister spent many years in prison and we are just too distant, not just the physical distance.... my parents moved from New Jersey to South Dakota the day before I was scheduled to be induced with one of my daughters.... yes, the day before I gave birth cause my mother said she could not wait anymore.... I was one day over due..... yup. So we are not close at all. She never returns phone calls... still can't spell her grandkids names right after 23 years.....

Anyway, my few close friends are more family to me and I am so lucky that my bestie lives right behind me, we just hop the fence....
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Old 09-08-2021, 10:01 PM
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If you ask my husband, I'm super social because I'll stop and say "hey" to the neighbors. If you ask me, I'm a practiced extrovert. My father was a pastor of a church, so as a child I had to be social with everyone and it was very second nature to me. As an adult.... I realized, I actually prefer being alone or a in a very small group of friends. I hate idle chit chat, I find it useless and a waste of my brain cells but I do know when to turn it on and play the social game. I'm not someone who enjoys talking on the phone, send me a text please... LOL. I do social settings (GNO, holiday parties etc, when it's necessary for hubby's business or if it's with close friends). If I am close to you, I tend to be blunt and to the point. It's always very interesting around my house, my husband explains things in story form and I'll give you bullet points.
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Old 09-08-2021, 10:06 PM
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I am social if I know people but so not social if I have to make new friends without some sort of existing link.....how I'm going to make new connections where ever I move to I have no idea (when I move I will be on my own in a new city as I can't afford to live where I do now on my own)/

I tend to keep a very small in real life circle so am far more social online.....I've always been that way but even more so when you add chronic health issues into the mix.
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Old 09-08-2021, 10:48 PM
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I hate idle chit chat, I find it useless and a waste of my brain cells but I do know when to turn it on and play the social game. I'm not someone who enjoys talking on the phone, send me a text please.
This is SOOO me! Like I said earlier, I can talk to anyone about anything, but I don't love doing it when there's no connection. As for the phone, ugh. Even my kids know that if they want to talk to me they have to phone, otherwise I'm just texting them... is that bad?? I think that comes from almost 20 years as a call taker/dispatcher for the fire department with a headset stuck to the side of my head. The LAST thing I want to do at home is be on the phone more!
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Old 09-08-2021, 11:09 PM
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I'm a pretty social person, but I tend to keep a tight social circle. I don't think of myself in B&W terms of being an introvert or an extrovert. I find them so limiting. I have close friends I hang out with/chat with regularly and consider them my family. I have missed seeing so many people during COVID! My US-based family is small and spread out, but we keep in touch through phone/text/zoom. I am grateful for all of them as we have kept each other sane during this crazy time! I also enjoy spending time alone, reading, snacking, and watching TV.

I think I'm better in person, but have found joy in developing friendships with people online here at SSD, because no one I know in-person scrapbooks in any way. It's nice to chat with others who share your hobby and love crafting!
I enjoy snack too. Maybe too much!

It makes me sad that noone in my family scraps. I've tried to teach a few of them, but no dice. I do have a cousin who does a lot with her cricut. She makes some beautiful things.
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Old 09-08-2021, 11:10 PM
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I'm good either way, I'm comfortable with or without others around. As an only child, I learned to be self-sufficient, to amuse myself and spend time by myself. I love to be in my office, scrapping, watching shows and justing being alone (with the dogs). But then I also love to hang out with hubs, the family and friends and am really chatty with people so everywhere I go I end up chatting for long periods of time. Dog walking at the park takes forever, partly b/c the dogs wander off into the bush and explore and partly because I stop and chat with all the dog owners along the way and often we end up all walking together in one big pack.
That sounds fun. I talk to people when I walk my dogs too. Something about dogs that makes everyone more approachable.
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Old 09-08-2021, 11:19 PM
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I feel this post on so many levels. I'm also not very social in person.... I love my own time and space, i'm typically the quiet one the odd time I am in a social situation and I have been told (and over heard) many times that that makes me "unapproachable" or that it gives off a "bitchy vibe".... I have just always been more of a listener than a talker, and I like to observe behaviours buuuuttt.... I guess because I don't enjoy flapping my jaws i'm a B****. lol Anyone who ACTUALLY knows me, knows that's not the case at all and that i'm the first person who would give the shirt off my back if it meant helping someone else, or that I am the best shoulder to cry on because I pass no judgement, but I have a hard time meeting new people and having them see that side because they never stick around long enough to get past the quiet stage. and this goes for family as well! My siblings, inlaws, even my Mom have no idea who I am, they much prefer talking about me than talking to me (which again, as an observer, I hear way more than they think I do).

I have 1 friend that I would actually spend time with, but we don't get to very often, and even when we are together we still send funny texts and laugh our butts off.... heck when we were roommates we used to text from across the apartment and could hear each other laughing in the other rooms LOL

I thrive in the online world.... one of my biggest fears is being put on the spot, so online I can have that minute to think and not feel "stupid" because I don't have a quick response. It's my happy space (not so much lately with everyone fighting over everything). Over the years I have curated my friends lists... made it less about adding everyone I had ever met and just keeping the people that I enjoy having around.... this has meant unfriending a lot of people from school days, and even some family members.... I will admit, I do have a handful of people left in my lists that I WISH I had better friendships with, or people that I fell out of touch with that I wish I had the guts to just strike up a convo and talk with more, but I am pretty much a chicken s*** when it comes to making the first move (and that happens a lot here in the forums too... I'll read responses and laugh to myself, or relate to it entirely, but I sometimes just can't put together what I feel are the right words to basically say 'lol' or 'me too'..... I really want to work on that.... I love it here, and would love to have this feel like more of a chatty place for me than I have let it been so far).
We really do have a lot in common because I've been told that I am intimidating. I figure my resting b!tch face must be fierce. And, oh boy, does my family like to talk about me! Nothing I do is ever good enough, so I did one thing that made a huge difference and just stopped talking to most of them. The ones I am close to, I keep in touch. The ones that were always mean to me, I could care less about. I moved away from where I grew up in 2005 and have not been back to see any of them since then. When I do go back, which has been like three times, I go to the cemetery to see my parents and then visit with the one aunt and cousin I adore. My son goes back with my sister more often and the aunts and uncles who were always mean to me, just adore him. They think he is the best things since sliced bread, which is surprising since his is my kid, but whatever.

Being more chatty in the forum is something that I wanted to do, so I made myself do it. In the beginning it was hard and I felt stupid if no one responded, but it has gotten easier over time. I still feel stupid sometimes, but that is me. LOL I hope you will chat more, because I am sure everyone would love to get to know you better and hear what you have to say. I know I would.
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Old 09-09-2021, 06:57 AM
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I love reading all these responses, I can relate to so many of them, I love when that happens, so often we think we're the only ones to feel a certain way, so finding out that someone else does too is always perfect.
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Old 09-09-2021, 07:25 AM
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We really do have a lot in common because I've been told that I am intimidating. I figure my resting b!tch face must be fierce. And, oh boy, does my family like to talk about me! Nothing I do is ever good enough, so I did one thing that made a huge difference and just stopped talking to most of them. The ones I am close to, I keep in touch. The ones that were always mean to me, I could care less about. I moved away from where I grew up in 2005 and have not been back to see any of them since then. When I do go back, which has been like three times, I go to the cemetery to see my parents and then visit with the one aunt and cousin I adore. My son goes back with my sister more often and the aunts and uncles who were always mean to me, just adore him. They think he is the best things since sliced bread, which is surprising since his is my kid, but whatever.

Being more chatty in the forum is something that I wanted to do, so I made myself do it. In the beginning it was hard and I felt stupid if no one responded, but it has gotten easier over time. I still feel stupid sometimes, but that is me. LOL I hope you will chat more, because I am sure everyone would love to get to know you better and hear what you have to say. I know I would.
Family life is so relatable... I got the point of family being what I make it... a few actual family members, close friend and their family.... my online family... it all doesn't have to be by blood. <3

I'm over here reading through the replies with my cup of coffee humming along to Rudolph and Hermie's "we're a couple of misfits".... "we may be different from the rest...... but who decides the test.... of what is really best?..." <3

Have a good day everyone
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Old 09-09-2021, 08:59 AM
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So so I'd say. I love chatting with people I enjoy at work, but I'm not big on going out. I'm a homebody. I don't really have close friends, I'm not from where I live now, I've made some friends, but not ones that I hang out with a ton.

Mostly I hang with the hubby, his parents & sister if we socialize. And I just went back to offices last week, so I've done the first socializing I've really done in 18 months outside of zoom.
Honestly, I get enough of other people at work, so I am happy going home to the quiet. I've lived in Indiana since 2005 and I only made a few friends in that time, but again, that is me. I don't actively pursue a social life.
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Old 09-09-2021, 09:05 AM
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I have turned into the most people hating person since covid started. I wasn't very sociable before anyway. Talking to people always made me sweat and be so uncomfortable. Making me think in my head what I was going to say exactly and then finally finding the courage to say it... and then sounding so dumb! Sometimes I sound very abrupt and forward, and after, I realize I probably shouldn't have spoken.

It took me 3 storytime to finally find the courage to go talk to a French speaking mom (from Quebec) at the local library. She then became one of my best friends but how dumb am I for passing on those opportunities!? What's the worst that could happen? Sounding stupid and never seeing that person again... but it is so much work. Same for phone calls. I dread them. I never understand fully (being from another country) and end up making decisions I didn't want to make and having to call again to change my appointment or whatnot...

Having moved from where I finally had found friends after living in Tacoma, WA for 10 years, I have to do it all again and I can't stand it! I have no friends, or just acquaintances and I haven't found people I click with or just laugh with. It makes me so sad and discouraged because it's hard.

I'm very close to my mom and we sometimes call each other every day. We have very strong differences but somehow she's still my person. I have a big sister too but we don't manage to call each other very much. We get along though. And of course I live in the US and my entire family is in France so that makes it hard. We don't see each other.

One day I'll find a job after all my kids have gone to school and am really hoping the people there can become friends because I have no other outlet.
But when I have close friends that I can share anything with I am not shy at all!
It is surprising how much work it is to make and retain friendships. Just thinking about can be exhausting for me and I am not taking care of little girls. I can imagine it is hard to be away from your family and in a foreign country, but I am sure once you have time to meet people, you will draw some good ones into your circle. In the meantime, I am glad that you are here and part of my on-line circle of friends.
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Old 09-09-2021, 09:07 AM
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I'm an introvert. Enough said. lol
I have my circle of close peeps and I'm fine with that.
I observe all and interact little. I am content to sit in the shadows and watch everyone even at work in meetings.
As an adult I don't live near any of my circle except hubby and kids so I'm usually at home with them and I'm ok with that.

Being an introvert and a writer, I excel at expressing my thoughts in written form, so online definitely works better for socializing.
I have made some close peeps in these forums and I'm content with that too! ♥♥
You're my peeps for sure
I know from experience with my son, that writers are big time observers, so I am not surprised to hear you are. But I am super happy to be one of your peeps. <3
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Old 09-09-2021, 09:11 AM
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I am definitely better online. I am an introvert by nature. My husband and son are both extroverts though so that's always weird.
I come from a family of introverts, so when my son married an extrovert, it took some getting used to for all of us. She was overwhelming at first for us and we felt standoffish to her. But we worked it all out successfully. Thank goodness. I can't imagine not getting along with my DIL.
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Old 09-09-2021, 09:12 AM
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I have turned into the most people hating person since covid started. I wasn't very sociable before anyway. Talking to people always made me sweat and be so uncomfortable. Making me think in my head what I was going to say exactly and then finally finding the courage to say it... and then sounding so dumb! Sometimes I sound very abrupt and forward, and after, I realize I probably shouldn't have spoken.

It took me 3 storytime to finally find the courage to go talk to a French speaking mom (from Quebec) at the local library. She then became one of my best friends but how dumb am I for passing on those opportunities!? What's the worst that could happen? Sounding stupid and never seeing that person again... but it is so much work. Same for phone calls. I dread them. I never understand fully (being from another country) and end up making decisions I didn't want to make and having to call again to change my appointment or whatnot...

Having moved from where I finally had found friends after living in Tacoma, WA for 10 years, I have to do it all again and I can't stand it! I have no friends, or just acquaintances and I haven't found people I click with or just laugh with. It makes me so sad and discouraged because it's hard.

I'm very close to my mom and we sometimes call each other every day. We have very strong differences but somehow she's still my person. I have a big sister too but we don't manage to call each other very much. We get along though. And of course I live in the US and my entire family is in France so that makes it hard. We don't see each other.

One day I'll find a job after all my kids have gone to school and am really hoping the people there can become friends because I have no other outlet.
But when I have close friends that I can share anything with I am not shy at all!
I feel this and understand you so much!! I loved the aspect of moving to a new area and being able to explore see what was there, the types of food, etc. The friends . . . that was and is always the worst! It's no wonder you see time and time again on the military wives pages "friend application" where they list everything about them in hopes to find ONE person to be their "friend" while they are stationed there. And then even if you get a "friend", you know that person, or yourself are going to be leaving shortly so you don't invest everything in to that friendship so that when it's time to move, it's okay and doesn't hurt to let another friend go.

Making friends is difficult. Keeping them is more difficult. But if you can get through all of that and gain a friend for life, that's priceless and worth the tears that you shed to get there

For what it's worth, you can always call/text me! I would love to be your friend even offline and hope we can meet up one day! Baltimore isn't too far from me (just a 2.5 hour drive). You have an amazing aquarium in your city and I've heard some amazing places to eat as well as a graffiti alley that I hope to visit!
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Old 09-09-2021, 09:43 AM
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I’ve learned so much about everyone and isn’t it great how our online friendships are so meaningful to us regardless of how social we are or are not IRL.
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Old 09-09-2021, 10:22 AM
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I have no IRL friends and married an introvert, but my sister calls me once a week to socialize me. LOL I came out of my shell when raising my kids and chatted with people mostly for information gathering. I didn't want my kids to be left out or suffer because I didn't know something. Now that they are older, I'm slinking back under my rock. I did meet a lot of nice people through my kids that I'll chat with if I run into them but no one I would call in an emergency. I feel that there is just something about me that people don't like, so I don't want to impose on them. At my age, I'm finally okay with that. I am definitely better online.
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Old 09-09-2021, 11:08 AM
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Add another "extroverted introvert" to the list. The extrovert part had to be learned. I remember in college almost passing out if I had to give a speech or something similar. I would have never led a group or been in charge. Perfectly happy to exist in the shadows. To now - I'm a leader in our homeschool group of over 450+ families. I have no problem getting up and talking to a bunch of people - but I'm usually VERY prepared if I do so. I plan activities for the junior high/high school kids and am also the Senior Class Coordinator - we have 90+ home school grads this year so far!! This is my last year to do so (since my last child is graduating this year ) but I'm sure I'll find something else to do. Because I've held a position in the group for so long I find that people "know" me and I don't know them (some I've never met )

Friends - I've found over the years that having a few good friends is much better than having a lot of friends that you don't really know. I have several that I know if I called them, or they called me, we'd drop everything to help. That means a lot. One of my friends (of 30+ years) we refer to each other as sisters and our families treat each other like family. My kids call them Aunt and Uncle and their kids are like cousins to mine. That is something I try to teach my own kids....to cultivate those relationships that really matter. What is that saying about friends - Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold.

and in reference to that procrastination thread - this here is a very good example of me procrastinating I should be finishing up my lists and running my 3,000 errands for the BTS party and grocery shopping for the family
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Old 09-09-2021, 03:23 PM
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When I was younger I was 'Julie the cruise director' from the Love Boat. I was the organizer of so many friend outings. Let's get a group of friends to go to the movies, the bar, whatever festival was going on in town. I loved hanging out with friends. I'm not sure what happened. I think I got tired. With some friends, I felt like I was putting all the effort in to get together and if I didn't reach out, they didn't either. I especially felt this way after I got divorced. I was exhausted. Exhausted from my divorce, being a mom to 2 little kids and feeling like all the effort in my friendships was on my side. I still enjoy going out and doing all kinds of activities but my circle of friends is much much smaller. I enjoy hanging out with by kids, my family, my boyfriend, but I only have 1 or 2 people outside that circle that I see/talk to on any kind of regular basis.
We've been working from home since March 2020 and will keep doing so indefinitely. There are parts of it I absolutely love, esp since I hated my commute, but I do miss the social aspect. I worked in a huge office (450 employees) and it was nice to have a few friends I could pop by their desk and say hi or go for a quick walk with on break. But I do find that I enjoy the quiet and larger chunks of uninterrupted time to work.
I really became active at SSD once the pandemic started. I started doing the monthly challenges and commenting in the galleries and feel like I've gotten to know many of you more than I know what my 'IRL' friends have been up to. Like many of you, I like having the chance to 'think before I speak' online as I tend to run off on verbal diarrhea and 18 tangents along the way. Keep asking questions, Lorie! I'm always game to share!!
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Old 09-09-2021, 04:12 PM
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I love to socialize with people I know and like and in small numbers, haha.
I don't love the small talk that comes with meeting new people, but once I know someone a bit, I won't shut up
I would much, much, much prefer to hang out with people in groups of 5 or fewer. We used to get together on Fridays with our neighbors, three families. Then a 4th, then a 5th joined in and I don't even know how many there are now, because I stay home. LOL. It just got to be too many people and I'm so drained. My husband goes, but I usually have something really quiet to do at home, lol.
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Old 09-10-2021, 09:55 PM
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Originally Posted by LJSDesigns View Post
I come from a family of introverts, so when my son married an extrovert, it took some getting used to for all of us. She was overwhelming at first for us and we felt standoffish to her. But we worked it all out successfully. Thank goodness. I can't imagine not getting along with my DIL.
For real! That would be awful. My husband doesn't always understand my introvertedness even now though, but he does warn people when I am going to meet them. Cause if I am uncomfortable, I do not speak, at all.
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Old 09-10-2021, 10:09 PM
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SeattleSheri SeattleSheri is offline
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I'm super extroverted (which I know isn't your question) - but a correlative indicator Ironically, I was voted shyest in high school. I love being around people, but I also cherish my "me time". I have a crew of friends, but I know other people that are more "connected" than I am. I would say I'm in the 75th+ percentile on a scale of socialability, lol. I'm the type of person that will naturally just step in and lead.

I have a very small family (grew up an only child, but found siblings later in life) and was always super jealous of people who had lots of family get-togethers, etc.
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