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#1
10-03-2011, 06:58 AM
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*sniff sniff*
So as many of you know my Zachary left for college in August...we have been lucky enough that he has been home every weekend---until this weekend---basketball practice finally started and he was home for a few hours on Friday night to watch his alma mater play football, but it didn't feel like a "visit".
I had plans to go up yesterday morning and spend a few hours with him, but he called around 9 and said he didn't feel good and wanted to sleep before practice, so although I was super sad, I didn't go...fast forward about 3 hours...he calls and says he feels better and wants me to come up. So of course I did but only got to spend about an hour with him... I came home missing my boy-which was all ok-I know he loves college and is doing wonderfully-but then I wake up this morning and his facebook status is... "I miss home"... So then I broke down and cried for a bit cause I miss him desperately... Wahhhh... I just posted cause I wanted a hug or two and because I know there are a few college moms here at SSD who can relate to my pain and give me a few words of wisdom...
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#2
10-03-2011, 07:06 AM
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(((HUGS))) <3
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#3
10-03-2011, 07:22 AM
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Well, I'm not a college mom, but a Marine Corps mom. When Christopher first went to boot camp he was soooo homesick and could only write letters to home - no phone calls, no computer. His letters were so heartfelt that I wanted to cry every time I got one (which was actually a couple times a week). After he got done with boot camp and I finally got to see him (3 months later) I was so desperately glad.
It does get better, if you let it - I had to learn to let go and it was very hard. I missed him, I missed my DH, etc., and I finally had to just tell myself that he would get through it and so would I. The next few years were much better - I still only saw him once every 6 months or so, but we were able to talk on the phone and send emails. Lots of hugs to you - there are good days and bad days.
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#4
10-03-2011, 07:25 AM
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*hugs*
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#5
10-03-2011, 07:26 AM
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Oh, hugs to you. We just filled out my son's applications for next year at college, but he's going to live at home so I get to keep him another year at least. It was our compromise... if you go to the state university near home, you can live at home while you get used to being an adult.
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#7
10-03-2011, 07:48 AM
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My son left September 1 and hasn't been home at all. He sent me a text last night asking if I'd come get him this weekend because "I'm literally dying for Mexican food and there's none here". I'm telling myself he's just using that an excuse to come home, because he'd have to be some kind of arse to ask me to drive for 12 hours so he can have a taco.
 But... I can't come get him this weekend.  So he's going to have to wait til the following one.
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#8
10-03-2011, 07:56 AM
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Awww, hugs Shannon!!
I was far enough way that lots of weekend trips weren't an option, but close enough that it was do-able if there was an emergency. I think it was better that way. I'm the oldest, so it was hard on my mom (literally cried the entire 4 hour drive home), but I think that the clean break was really good for us. We had no choice but to get used to it. We would email during the week, and I called home every sunday, but there were no visits. I think it was 6 or 7 weeks before I got to see them again, and that was only because they were going to my uncle's birthday party and made a side trip out to take me to lunch, lol.
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~Colleen~
Re-attempting a creative life after far too long!
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#9
10-03-2011, 08:02 AM
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aw Shannon, I know how awful it is.
My son is now in his second year at college. His state university is 100 miles away which is just over 2 hours away, making it far enough and expensive enough for gas to not see him very often. Even if gas was free LOL the time it took to come home would steal so much studying time away that he often couldn't do it. Last year he went to school in mid-Sept and we didn't see him until mid-Oct, then the next time was Thanksgiving. It was pretty hard on me in the beginning of last year, but we got use to it I guess. Jacob was pretty homesick at first, but really enjoyed the dorm life (and I'm sure all the parties). So he adjusted quickly. It was harder on me than him. I won't lie, I don't like how this distance has changed our relationship. During this last summer, we fell into our normal close relationship, but now that he is at school again, he is sooo busy that it's hard to ever talk to him or get him to text/email back. I guess the apron strings are truly cut. I suppose the fortunate thing for me is that Jacob's girlfriend lives here in town, so for him to see her, he has to come home. If she also went to his college, that would probably mean I'd never see him. You have all my hugs girlie, I wish it was easier. I know you are proud of your son and I hope he adjusts to college so he is enjoying it there.
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#10
10-03-2011, 08:22 AM
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Awww Shannon, that's so sad. I feel your pain. Our oldest left in May for the Air Force and is now about 3 1/2 hours away from us at Tech School. We haven't seen her since July 24th.
She also just got her duty station orders last week and she will be stationed in Hawaii. Sad but happy about that because she is happy, she wants to see the world. It is so hard to see them leave home and it is a real adjustment. I don't have any infinite words of wisdom but I can send you some big {{{HUGS}}} 
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 Creating for: Krystal Hartley
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Sending you lots of love and hugs!
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#12
10-03-2011, 08:34 AM
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I've never been there as the parent (yet) but I've been there as the child. I have a very hard time separating from my parents when I went to school. My only advice would be to go see him as often as he wants you to and then when he's asking for more freedom to give it.
HUGS, I bet it's hard knowing that he's homesick. ALisa
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#18
10-03-2011, 10:15 AM
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((HUGS)) Shannon!! I definitely know how you feel. It doesn't really matter how far away they are, if they are gone, the dynamics of the family change drastically. I'm glad you got to see him, if only for a bit. That at least helps! You are going through that tough adjustment period - it does eventually get better.
Grant had a very tough start to his year (as anyone who is my FB friend knows) - the night we moved him into the dorm, his best friend's 13 year old brother committed suicide. Grant was devastated and there was a lot of back and forth that first 2 weeks. He ended up being a pall bearer and I'm just glad he was nearby to attend all the services and be there for his friend. And that's kind of set the tone for this year, so we've seen him more than we did last year. I will say it's easier the 2nd year. The first year is just plain sad - they change, the family changes and we miss them like crazy. I'm already dreading when Wyatt leaves in a couple of years. I have a hard time when he is just at football camp.
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#20
10-03-2011, 10:52 AM
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((((hugs))))...
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Rachelle
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#22
10-03-2011, 11:23 AM
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I love you, Shan. You're such a good mama <3
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#23
10-03-2011, 11:44 AM
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No advise or experience.......just wanted to send lots of hugs.
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#26
10-03-2011, 07:07 PM
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: ( I can't imagine when they go away!
But if it consoles you any, I would call my parents and say, "I miss home so much! Come get me!" and then I'd be out with my friends for the next 48 hours and not think twice about being sad. It means that home is a happy place for him that he misses it. : ) I'm glad you got to see him this weekend.
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#27
10-03-2011, 09:00 PM
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(((((HUG))))) My baby girl will be off to college next fall so I can only imagine how you must be feeling. No words of wisdom, but I can give you another hug! (((((HUG))))
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#28
10-03-2011, 09:05 PM
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I remember feeling like that when my daughter left last year in June. She has been gone for a little over a year now. It was so hard at first I think I cried every single day for the first month or so. We are much much closer now that she moved out then when she lived here believe it or not and then we were pretty close. We mostly just argued because she thought being 18 meant she no longer had to follow any household rules. I wish I could say the same about my oldest son but with the accident well Ill never have to deal with those issues. I can only imagine how tough it will be for us when my youngest son gets ready to move away for school. He is 14 and in the 8th grade (supposed to be in 9th) so I do still have a few more years to wait until he is ready to go away and I have a feeling he will be doing community college and living at home while doing that so that might not be an issue for us. I wont mind him staying home longer though
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    Dreaming of creating for Cindy Schneider, Studio Flergs & Kristin Cronin-Barrow Last edited by jessica31876; 10-03-2011 at 09:09 PM.
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#30
10-04-2011, 08:48 PM
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{{hugs}}
my parents are officially empty nesters this year. my brother is living in the city (30 minutes from home), and i'm 500 miles from home. i know that last year was so hard on her, not having me there. and then i had a crappy year, so she was miserable because i was miserable. but now with both of us gone? i think it's harder. but, it's one of those things that has to happen. kids can't stay little forever, right? {{more hugs}}
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