I went to the cemetary today..

[lauren grier]

to visit my grandmothers grave..

it was hard. I cried.. I miss her SO much.. and need her SO much.. I just .. I don't even know what. My aunt, who passed away 2 years ago, and my grandmother were just such important people in my life.. and they're gone and I still don't know how to process that feeling.

It was a bit unsettling.. the grave stone is finally there-- I don't know if you guys remember me posting a month or so ago that it wasn't up yet-- but it's there now.. and not only is my grandfathers name on it (which I expected) but also MY parents names... that shook me a bit. My parents and I aren't really close.. and I just am afraid that I'll be staring at the grave stone.. completed.. and not have gotten *there* with them yet..

[scarletsierra]

Oh, La. (((hugs))). I have no words, sweetie. Just know you're not alone and we all love you. More (((hugs))).

[Melissa Bennett]

Oh I am so sorry. That is such a hard thing to go through and process. I am sorry you are having to deal with it. (((HUGS))))

[charlize]

aww Lauren *hugs*
for me, lost someone is like a long dream that I want to wake up but I can't ...
I've lost my dad too few years ago, just 4 months before my wedding day.

Keep the faith gal ... *hugs*

[Paula]

Aww La!! Big hugs for you today!! I know how hard it is for you.

[Tracie Stroud]

(((HUGS))) La!

[~Julie~]

{{Big hugs}} La... I can't imagine the pain you are going through.

[AnnieBananie]

((hugs))

[Darcy Baldwin]

(((HUGS))) Lauren - I know it's hard.

[ColleenSwerb]

Hugs La, it's a really hard thing to lose someone you're so close to. I still can't bring myself to go to my best friends grave, and it's been almost 7 years.

[Mandy]

OH Lauren...Love you girl.
It sucks. I lost my grandma and father at 12 years old, just 2 months apart and they were both my everything.
I still have a hard time with it 21 years later - there are many times when I cry for my father and I wish my grandmother was still here to talk to and give me advice and just treat me like a baby sometimes.

[Voodoo_Bryn]

[Kat Stokes]

{{{BIG HUGS}}} La.

[Brandy]

((hugs)) hun I'm sorry you know I knwo EXACTLY what you're feeling (well my parents aren't on grandma's headstone but i know the feeling) well i'll be on yahoo later if you wanna talk

[pbumbaca]

Hugs La! I know how hard it is. My Nana has been gone 10 years and I still have a hard time visiting her grave. I miss her every day. I haven't spoken to my stepdad (my only dad I ever had) since I was 15 years old so I also know how you feel about your parents, you'll get 'there' don't worry.

[lizzyfizzy]

i have never had a big loss in my life and i cannot imagine that pain! you'll get there with you parents. i don't want you to miss those amazing women in your life. i want you to be whole! love you la! BIG SQUEEZE!!!

[LibbysMommy]

Sweetie I completely understand!! I still feel that way and my grandparents have been gone 14 years now. I'm so sorry!! Biggest hugs to you!!

[meems]

((hugs))

[LeeAndra]

I'm very sorry, La. That is definitely tough. FI took me to 'meet' his brother at the cemetary a few months back. I cried like a baby.

I don't know what I will do when I get down to my biological father's grave. Since I was just 2 when they split up, I have no memories of him, so it will be as close as I ever get to 'meeting' him, too. I imagine it will take me days and days to stop crying.

But the crying always does stop. You will get through this, and we will be here for you every step of the way. Okay, Name Buddy? *hugs*

[kscwgirl]

Huge hugs sweetie. I know how hard it is. I still can only go to my grandparents grave 2 times a year and I have to be forced to go both times.. and they died when I was 9.

[scrapmonkey]

Big Hugs to you.
I know how you feel - it was hard seeing my father's headstone next to my grandparents and then to see my mom's name on it (she's still very much alive). It's quite a blow to have someone you love so dearly leave you and then to think that it could happen again just re-opens that wound. Time does make it easier, but it hasn't gone away yet for me....

[Amy Carey]

aww honey. Big hugs coming your way today. I haven't been able to go to my dad's grave yet...he died in March but we had him buried in Arlington Nat'l Cemetary and my family can't get it together enough to go. It'll be good to have that closure/peace when I finally see it but I know it will be hard. I won't tell you it gets easier because i'm not sure it does. I miss my daddy so very much, so I can empathize, so here's another {{{HUG}}} for you.

[newfiemountiewife]

((hugs)) La. I feel the same way when I go to my grandparents graves, and it is so incredibly difficult after all this time (it's been 11 years for me).

[Joan]

Lots of love and huge {{{{HUGS}}}} La.

I know all those emotions all too well. I wish I could tell you that it gets better. Really, in many ways, it does. It does get easier, with time, and you get to a different place where you can deal with it a lot better. But I still get those moments out of the blue where it hits me how much I miss them, and it'll knock me right on my butt all over again. Yesterday would have been my mom's birthday, so I've been a rollercoaster of emotions the past couple of days.

It's not something I talk about... well, ever, really, but I lost my parents two months apart in 2000. I was the last of 6 kids and they were quite a bit older when they had me, so I dealt with them aging and getting sick when I was much younger than most people have to face those things. My mom got very sick years earlier with a degenerative neural disease and in many ways I lost her long before she ever left this world. My dad was older than her, and once she was gone I think he just didn't want to be here anymore. My dad and I butted heads constantly throughout my life, but I miss him, stubborness and all. My mom... she was amazing... I miss her so much. Sorry, La, this is turning into a highjack of your thread... it's been a rough couple of days.

[jessica31876]

aww Im sorry...feel the same way when I go to visit my neices and nephew. And my mom who I was estranged from the last two years she was alive. It is really rough. I hope you are able to get there with your parents and I think that even though your grandmother has passed she is still here with you everyday.

[*Jeannie*]

I give you credit for going. I haven't been and don't know if I ever can, but know I should. It could help.
((big hugs))

[Brooke W]

(((La))). I haven't been to see my mother's and the rest of my family's graves since she died seven years ago this past October. It's just too far away for a day trip. To be honest, i don't know how I'd react. Hopefully time will heal this some for you. It's never easy and my heart goes out to you.

[Joan]

I do have to say, I find spending time at the cemetery remarkably peaceful and healing. I've never really been uncomfortable at them though, so I'm sure that helps. We've really tried to make a point of always celebrating my parents and others lives when we visit their graves. We do things like decorate a tiny little Christmas tree for them, take mom her favourite flowers on special occasions, etc.

[Teresa]

I'm so sorry, La. I'm sure this time of year isn't helping matters any. I really believe that she's still with you and that she "knows" when you're talking to her and need her. That feeling has gotten me through some rough times with those I've lost too...Huge hugs to you.

[Jennifer]

I'm sorry, La. ((hugs))

[AmyM]

That's a tough place to be La. (((HUGS)))

[rach3975]

{{hugs}} I'm sorry!

[meganmecrazy]

((((HUGS))))

Awww La, I'm sorry. I know how you feel. I've lost my grandma, my mom, and just last week my dad. It's awful and I don't know that I will ever fully process it. I hope you are able to "get" there with your parents cause when they are gone, there is no 2nd chances. Big hugs!

Melissa

[ajoyfulheart]

Oh wow...you remind me of me and my Nana...I am SO incredibly close to her (she raised me until 3rd grade) and I actually had a big cry session on the phone with her a few weeks ago that ended with me being shocked she is going to be directly cremated, and then me asking her if I can have her ashes (I'll scatter them later, wherever she would want)...that is how insanely close I am to her...if she was to pass away, I do not know what I would do with myself I am so very sorry that your grandmother passed away, and that you are still trying to cope with it all ((((HUGS))))